[Victoria'smom]

I didn't sleep last night. The bugs were biting me to much.

I told T you guys were the only reason I went yesterday. I see the nurse today hopefully the abilify will knock me down.

My husband watched me take my meds last night and argued with me because he thought I just took the welbutrin. I took both.

I signed Miguel up for dual enrollment last night. I want him to go online until he's older but he has labs he needs to attend on campus. So he'll go to the small campus. I'm worried he'll be discriminated against because of his age. He'll be 14 but in the 10th grade. He could have done just AP courses but there year long instead of half year long and he's a bad test taker. I asked my husband and son to make sure it wasn't a manic thing. They say no it's not so I did it. Miguel's stoked he'll be the youngest on campus. He told me I was manic yesterday.

It's 6 am and I have to do laundry.

I may go lay down for a little bit longer. My husband's the sane one now but he's sleeping. I'll talk and talk and talk on here.

My therapist wants me to journal but I don't know what to say. I'm trying to keep it short to only tell the important parts but what are those.

I want a bacon egg and cheese corsant but I don't think we have the money. I'm going to check anyway. I want to walk to WAWA but it's to far. I wish I knew how to drive but this is exactly why I don't know. Should I tell her all this?

I'll write more later thanks for reading anyone that does I appreciate it. I might throw out my extra sleeping medicine that I'm not suppose to have. That way my husband can't make me take it. I'm not tired anyway why should I sleep?

Is it important to tell T I don't drive because of mania? She thinks if need be I could live on my own. Do you guys think I could? The ones who have known me for years.

Maybe I just need space. My husband said I'd be miserable at my parents house but I don't know where else to go. It's not like we have the money for me to stay somewhere maybe a homeless shelter but who wants to stay there?

[Victoria'smom]

ETA: My therapist likes that I have the bipolar board and I love how honest you guys are with me. I wouldn't have gone without you. T wants me to call pdoc every day to see if there's a cancelation but that's to much work and I like this. Why would I as to be brought down? I'm not hurting anyone yet. Besides if I hurt someone it'd be myself and if it's bad enough that I need stiches FL will keep me anyway. I wish I broke my wrist yesterday that warm hot pain would feel nice right now. I wont do it the whole hospital thing scares me.

[Victoria'smom]

ETA: I don't want the shot it may bring me down. Why did T ask if I was taking my meds? She was happy that the pharmacy wouldn't give me my other anti-depressant! What if that was keeping me stable? No one would know. What if pdoc sends me to the hospital? I don't want to be there? What if the nurse sends me to the hospital? t said mania can be dangerous what if she sends me to the hospital? she says it's not dangerous yet. I don't trust her. Will the hospital let me go if I'm not "a danger to myself or others" I can wait 8 days to see T again.

[raspberrytorte]

I certainly wouldn't want to live in a homeless shelter.

Well... if I really was a homeless person I'd like it.

[Blaire]

I know it's torture but hang in there and try not to do anything impulsive. I hope the abilify will help you stabilize. *hugs*

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Victoria'smom]

I got my shot. Prior authorization office hasn't got anything from the pharmacy yet but the pharmacy said they sent it. I just have to wait. I hate going to a clinic.

[Victoria'smom]

I tried to sleep the buzz of things were to loud. I maybe hearing things.

ETA: I want to talk and talk and talk but I have no one that will listen. I did get my bacon egg and cheese bagel today.

[st0psign]

are you from eastern pa? that's the only place I know wawas to exist

[Victoria'smom]

Clearwater, FL

[Victoria'smom]

I have former sleep meds from the pdoc. I don't see me sleeping tonight. Should I take the sleeping medication when I take my other meds? or should I just take what's prescribed? I wonder how long I can/will stay up? am I getting psychotic? Will my therapist hospitalize me next week for daydreaming about hurting others when they aggravate me? Should my son go to his aunts as he already knows I'm manic? Is my husband still hypo manic just I've surpassed him in goodness feeling? will I hurt T's feelings when she pisses me off some how because yeah me in a room for an hour I'm going to get cranky? Should I really give her my notes that go into detail when I get pissed off?

[Victoria'smom]

Music is drowning out all the other noises. It's still aggravating but at least it's only one sound and I don't feel I'm going crazy. Just found out nephews girlfriend was cheating.

[Victoria'smom]

Possible trigger:

I want to cut, a lot it would be so euphoric