It's 3am and I can't get back to sleep. Had another nightmare and cried quite a bit. I am afraid to sleep bc of the nightmares and do not ever want to sleep again. I kinda want to call my psych's emergency hotline (he answers) but a few days ago I overshared in a panic attack and I kinda want to hide from him for...forever, which is a shame because his IOP was wonderful and I loved going back.
Idk, just trying to pass time and not think about things.

[Crazy Hitch]

I lost a good doctor once for fear of going back ... I felt like such a fool after a manic episode for stupid things I said to her and did in her office.

Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't.

As my current pdoc has told me "They've seen it all". Easy enough said when the shoe isn't on the other foot.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by escapeartist

It's 3am and I can't get back to sleep. Had another nightmare and cried quite a bit. I am afraid to sleep bc of the nightmares and do not ever want to sleep again. I kinda want to call my psych's emergency hotline (he answers) but a few days ago I overshared in a panic attack and I kinda want to hide from him for...forever, which is a shame because his IOP was wonderful and I loved going back.
Idk, just trying to pass time and not think about things.

I hope you were able to go back to sleep. I, too, had a wakeful night - I woke up at 1AM and couldn't get back to sleep, and all sorts of things kept going through my mind.

You're lucky that your psych answers his own emergency line, and you can't really overshare with a psych, that's what they're there for!

[Blaire]

I agree oversharing with him is ok. It probably helps him understand you better. I've acted crazy with my psychologist before and ended up writing him apology letters. He always called to tell me it was fine and he wasn't bothered by it. It's their job to meet you where you are and handle whatever you throw at them.

[MedicatedMe]

I stayed up all night as well. Cried at least 6 times and decided to create an account here. I had a long night... hope you're feeling better. Don't be afraid to call your psychiatrist. That's what they're there for and you're so lucky he has a hotline. My psychiatrist never responds to my text messages lol. Takes me like 30 minutes to write those!

I didn't go back to sleep :/ While normally I would agree there's no such thing as oversharing with your treatment team, I ended up telling him some things that I try to deny and disbelieve with all my heart and I really do not feel up to seeing him after that.

[MedicatedMe]

Originally Posted by escapeartist

I didn't go back to sleep :/ While normally I would agree there's no such thing as oversharing with your treatment team, I ended up telling him some things that I try to deny and disbelieve with all my heart and I really do not feel up to seeing him after that.

That's totally understandable. Spilling your emotions out to anyone can make you feel humiliated afterwards, especially if you've experienced embarrassment in the past. It makes you want to bang your head against the wall.

It's like you absent-mindedly do it because you believe they're someone you can trust or maybe you said it in the heat of the moment, but then it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth and makes your heart sink just thinking about it. Don't worry. I think this has happened at least once to the majority of individuals who suffer from mental health issues, including myself. But you just get over it eventually.

It's a tense situation, and if I were in your position, I would be beating myself up for it too, but this guy has probably seen and heard it all. Did he say anything after you talked to him? Anything reassuring?

[Blaire]

Originally Posted by escapeartist

I didn't go back to sleep :/ While normally I would agree there's no such thing as oversharing with your treatment team, I ended up telling him some things that I try to deny and disbelieve with all my heart and I really do not feel up to seeing him after that.

You know, actually I bet he felt honored that you trusted him enough to tell him that stuff.

[fairydustgirl]

was it a full moon last night you suppose? I stayed up til 7am this morning for no real good reason. I am anxious, I am feeling upset over something, well a few somethings, can't seem to cry about it but it is under the surface. I just don't know how to resolve my issue as of yet. My head is telling me the smart thing, my heart refuses to acknowledge. I know I am not doing all right and it's my fault. I haven't hit the big episode yet though!

[cincidak]

Maybe call them and discuss it over the phone. Tell them your regrets, see what they say. They get paid to listen and advise, but everything is confidetial. Me myself, I spill it all. I pay them to listen, I might as well be completely open and honest if they are going to help me. I'm kind of confrontational if you hadn't guessed,lol. I hope you can move passed this. If not find a new therapist, but keep going if it helps you stay stable. My prayers are with you.

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[Bipolarchic14]

Just tell your doctor you're hallucinating when you sleep.