[SuperwomanBp2]

I am so tired of feeling like a walking corpse one minute, aggravated the next and then good the following.

I feel I'm a stranger in my own body and it's messed up. I so desperately want off this ride. I never realized how crippling Bipolar can be until now. I have this nagging desire to go shopping and have sex, to the point it hurts, but I just don't have the energy to act upon it. I'm in hell and just relying on the hope my medication works.

Being in this mixed state is a nightmare. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep, because I can't turn off my brain. Why can't there be an on/off switch?

I just wish to feel like my old self again.

Welcome to PC Superwomen (I like your username!). I'm so sorry you are in this state. Mixed states are very dangerous for me. Have you been through one before? Are you safe right now? I have definately related to the feelings you mention here. It's no fun to be where you are right now and my heart goes out to you. I hope you will stick around so we can support you through this. PC is a great place to meet understanding people. Sometimes it helps to talk.... We are here. (((Hugs)))

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I don't have words that will help but wanted you to know you aren't alone. I've been there before and hope to never go there again. It's a truly horrendous feeling.

[Wild Coyote]

I just went through a very long time of this. It seems to now be transforming into hypomania in my case.
My heart goes out to you.
Please have patience. Things will change.

WC

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by SuperwomanBp2

I am so tired of feeling like a walking corpse one minute, aggravated the next and then good the following.

I feel I'm a stranger in my own body and it's messed up. I so desperately want off this ride. I never realized how crippling Bipolar can be until now. I have this nagging desire to go shopping and have sex, to the point it hurts, but I just don't have the energy to act upon it. I'm in hell and just relying on the hope my medication works.

Being in this mixed state is a nightmare. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep, because I can't turn off my brain. Why can't there be an on/off switch?

I just wish to feel like my old self again.

*Hugs* You have support here. I can definitely relate, and you describe some of my own feelings when I have a mixed episode very well: "feeling like a stranger in your own body" and "wanting off that ride" so badly. Also, I get preoccupied with sex during episodes at times too. I hope your medication works for you soon. There's always hope, and things do get better, although it's a rollercoaster ride having Bipolar for sure.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by SuperwomanBp2

I am so tired of feeling like a walking corpse one minute, aggravated the next and then good the following.


I feel I'm a stranger in my own body and it's messed up. I so desperately want off this ride. I never realized how crippling Bipolar can be until now. I have this nagging desire to go shopping and have sex, to the point it hurts, but I just don't have the energy to act upon it. I'm in hell and just relying on the hope my medication works.


Being in this mixed state is a nightmare. I'm exhausted, but can't sleep, because I can't turn off my brain. Why can't there be an on/off switch?


I just wish to feel like my old self again.

Every recent post of mine has been how I'm struggling in a mixed state. I get it. I'm going through a total med change that is going horribly. I get dysphoria with mine. And rage. In the past week I've thrown over two kitchen chairs and a coffee table. And guess where pdoc is?? Out of town! Wonderful! I've been hiding in my room from my family. It's like Dr Jekyll and Hyde! Hang in there Hun, you're not alone. It's part of this horrible illness.

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[ezogyo]

I felt the same way before. Hopefully you'll feel better soon. You have come to the right place for support as most of us can relate. Take care

[OctobersBlackRose]

Welcome to PC, you'll have a lot of support here, I don't have Anything to add except to welcome you and send you hugs.

[jules77]

my mixed episodes have been worse than any other manic/depressive ones, by far. it is such an uncomfortable feeling to have these simultaneous desires and lack of energy, racing thoughts about suicide, etc. know that your frustration and madness at these states is not unwarranted, they truly can be horrid. my best remedy was honestly medication, not therapy. HUGS

[Wander]

Another person who has endured many mixed states here. They are hell and I am so sorry you are going through this. It can be so hard to be patient when like that, well it is for me as I get so damn inpatient. But hang in there, this will pass. Do you have support like family, friends, good psychiatrist and therapist? We are here for you. Take care.