[bipolarlady]

I have often wondered how many people out there have had an abusive childhood and gone on to have bipolar disorder. I think I did read somewhere that its quite a high percentage because of emotional abuse etc. when young.

I had a very abusive mother, emotionally and physically, and I have since found out she has a narcisstic personality disorder. I am now 41, happily married with two children but the legacy of the trauma of my childhood I feel has played a big part in my illness. I guess life events are triggers too, and boy have I had loads of those!!

Thanks for listening, and would like to hear what others have to say and their experiences.

[Direction]

I'm not sure about the cause and effect of these two events...I'm BP and had a verbally abusive father when he drank...

[ChrisM]

I have bipolar and pstd, I was abused terribly for years. I was in the hospital for 4 months at age 13. I think abuse can bring on years of suffering and mental illness, thats my opinion~~ Chris

[Meta]

Hi,
Interesting issue/
I definitely grew up in a dysfunctional home. My father was alcoholic and my mother mentally ill. They were extremely verbally abusive to each other, and the needs of my siblings and I-- beyond a place to live and food to eat,-- were seldom met. I don't know what part this plays in my Bipolar disorder. All of my siblings have mood disorders and some have drug and alcohol issues as well.

Meta

[Doonney]

You have a very good point to put out there. I also was abused mentally - physically - sexually for 15years. Now I have to deal with Bipolar - Epilepsy - PTSD and those are just the mental issues.
I'm sorry you had to and still are going through these things. We will always be here to listen, and support.

[bipolarlady]

Thanks all for posting about your experiences. Certainly very interesting.

Thanks for your support too.

take care

[RACEKA]

I've also been abused in my childhood. I have been diagnosed with a mild form of bi polor and anxiety.

[mrwagner66]

OMG! I've had so many tramas occur when I was younger that I was told about when I was older that I can't even recall. I remember fragments of a couple, but nothing compared to what was described to me in my later years.

I have been in counseling since my mother's first divorce when I was 11 - after that my behavior grew increasingly violent; filled with anger, depression, manic episodes and crashes of depression. I believe I may have attempted suicide in the back of my mind (attempting this at the same age when taking half a bottle of my grandmother's prescription sleeping pills-telling myself because I wasn't falling asleep fast enough or "they were not working").

Being 36 now I still have terrible cycling, though it rests primarily in the down stage at the current time. I'm wondering if these feelings are stemmed from hidden memories of abuse that though I cannot conciously remember though they I know they are still present and effecting my emotional state.

I have contacted three psychiatrists to speak to, I have been put on four medications since my diagnosis in 2000 and they seemed to regulate my moods and scattered thoughts a bit, but unfortunately in June of 2006 I went on the kick of "I feel better so I am better" and quit taking them. I have now sunk into a terrible state of depression that has worried my friends and family, so I kicked myself in the ***** and researched a new counselor.

Aside from totally getting off the subject (sorry!) I believe though the disorder in question is primarily a chemical one, I think past incidents do have a major effect on their cycling. I find when I'm happy or something makes me happy I go majorly overboard. When something saddens me or goes wrong I go through the basement and feel that the world has betrayed me and I'm worthless.

Who knows, I know I'm ranting and I'm sorry. I'm just relieved that there are people out there who will admit these problems exist and they're not all "personality disorders"!!

Have a great holiday people!!

[HALLIEBETH87]

i think childhood abuse plays a HUGE role in the development of BP. I haven't been dx BP, only as having a mood disorder, but I was emotionally, seldom physically abused as a child and I a thinking I am bipolar as well.

[Seraph]

I would imagine so. BD is somewhat genetically based, so a dysfunctional family life is going to be more likely.

My mother is a walking ball of anxiety. She always assumes the worst possible outcome and acts accordingly. I used to think my mother and I were "normal," but after working with psychiatric patients, I realize just how dysfunctional my family life was.

I guess I just really lowered my standards over the years...

[onyx69000]

disfunctional family yes, abuse yes a cousin, and a long term relationship gone totaly wrong abusive. now happily married three kids see my parents once in a while. they were ok as parents went they were young and realy did the best they could. but others did cause me great pain and drama in my lifei was raped when 13. so yes i tihnk it dose play a role in our dx

[dreamrunner]

Ive got alcoholic,distant ,abusive Dad.Then I married someone worse.I believe my Bp has enabled some bad choices that led to traumatic situations too.

My brother who was diagnosed bp 1 as a teen and suffers far more than I do,had a worse upbringing because he got more physical,emotional abuse from my Dad.

Sad really....I think you carry a gene in you and it takes trauma to kick start it.Mabie the worse the trauma the more severe the bp?

[Shyguy88]

I'm 19 years old and I have Bipolar disorder, when I was 13 years old I was physically and verbally abused for 2 years by my ex-stepdad, and accidently witnessing him sexually abusing my older sister. I have PSTD also from it, sometimes I feel I wished I could get permanent amnesia and forget my entire past childhood.

[Kerit71]

I think you are genetically predispositioned for bipolar disorder, but I think if you are and then exposed to abuse (verbal, physical, emotional, etc) then you are likely to show signs...

In our family, my mother was the worst case scenario as far as bipolar disorder goes...rapid cycler, in and out of the hospital...psychotic episodes...

my father, I am certain has some sort of personality disorder that is not diagnosed...he thrives on attention that is undeserved (lets people believe he served in VietNam when he didn't...yes he was in the service at the time, but stateside...now he is disabled and loves to talk about all of his pain meds and how bad he has it)

My sister and I had a very traumatic childhood because my parents didn't raise us...they were so wrapped up in their own stuff that we were often left to our own devices...(dad talks as if he was the very best parent on earth..ha)

I definitely showed signs of bipolar disorder in my late teens, but with my parents being so wrapped in themeselves, it was missed. I was not properly diagnosed until my early thirties...AFTER my (then) four year old son was diagnosed!!

Now, for me, all the signs were there...I had gotten into some (minor) trouble with the law in my twenties, which was completely out of character...I hopped from job to job to job...working several at the same time...did alot of stupid things...etc.

Luckily for me, I have a very stable spouse and in spite of my eccentricities at times my kids have had a stable homelife overall. Yes, I have put us in jeopardy from time to time financially because of my mania, but somehow we have managed to get through. I think my kids are getting a childhood, where I had none.

In spite of the family history of bipolar disorder, I want to break that neglect/abuse cycle. They needent go hand in hand.

[iprazhm]

My fiance (age 51) had an abusive dad. He did have a great mom though. He says he is ADD, and that he has gone thru depressions. I did some research on his symptoms and concluded he has OC personality disorder, which is somewhat different that OCD. My sister is wondering if he is bipolar after I described him to her. I am wondering what you all think. He has taken antidepressants in the past, but they kill his sex drive he says. His OCD stuff involves being a complete neat freak, and having to order belongings in certain ways. It takes him hours to complete a simple task because he has to clean up and organize it to death. For example we were going on a 15 hour trip and needed to leave by a decent hour like 8 a.m. He stayed up till 2 a.m. and never packed the night before; then did chores all day that could have waited till we got back; then took a long time packing (shoes go in their own separate plastic bags; everything folded a certain exact way); then we did not get off till 3p.m. Then he blew up at me when I wanted to drive straight though. He is very loving and sweet much of the time, but then turns on me over some dumb thing and rants and raves;he has punched a door once. Then he apologizes and is nice. Other times he gets weird silly, laughing and joking and chitter chattering; at first he reminds me of Robin Williams but then he becomes annoying. Once when he was like this we were grocery shopping and he made silly faces thru the grocery window; then was loud and silly; then raced down the aisles opening stuff and saying dumb things. Other times he is quiet and very serious; he's usually angry at those times. He does okay if he is under no pressure of any kind. When there is pressure or conflict he yells, screams, and way over reacts. Got any ideas what this is?Could any medications help him?

[dreamrunner]

Good question....sounds like he's def got issues.The ocd explains the packing just so,the neat freak etc but Im no expert.I dont think he sounds bp but remember you can be ocd and still have congruent disorders.Just like so many disorders can be missed because we think its part of thier personality.....He really will only know if he sees a pdoc.

[mydarlin]

I also suffered from sexual abuse during my childhood....I believe that my mother is BP and prob many other things (the woman goes off the deep end sometimes and it has really strained the relationship that we have; to the point of being noexistant). The household I grew up in was very dysfunctional...Yes I do believe that that really plays a part in becoming BP. It may have some genetic strands but..environment yes.

[Joe1976]

I was mentally abused by my Mother. I really don't blame her though, because I believe she is Bipolar as well.

I didn't feel loved by my Mother as a child. As a result, I desperately looked for love and acceptance in a woman that I could settle down with.

There were two kinds of women that I was attracted to: 1) those that reminded me of my Mother (in their dysfunctionality), and 2) those that were just the opposite.

The attraction to those that had some "dysfunctionality" was very strong. I wonder if Bipolar-types are attracted to others of the same nature? I know I was.

BTW, I ended up marrying a wonderful woman that was not like my Mother, and we celebrate 25 years of marriage next month.

[iprazhm]

You are lucky to have a great wife. My fiance I believe is undiagnosed bipolar, and is a problem drinker as well. We
have lived together for 6 months now. From what he says and from what his sister has told me his dad was abusive and maybe bipolar. He says his girlfriends in the past 12 years since his divorce were unstable, some bipolar. I was fairly stable-had same husband, job, and church for over 20 years-then my ex left me. My fiance knows I'm a good catch. His ups and downs are wearing me out. I'm pretty patient, but his verbal rages seem to come out of nowhere. Last night I was wanting to look for flea meds for the dog in boxes in our shed (just moved) and he went off screaming how I would mess up the boxes if I looked though them. Then he went out to the shed and began throwing the boxes on the hard floor (breakble stuff). I'm only allowed to do what he wants when he says I can or he goes crazy saying I'm obstinate, and that I won't accept male authority.
Then he left for 3 hours to go to a bar to get away from me.
He's trying the fish oil remedy for mood swings, though he resented me "diagnosing" him. I think a major Lithium dose may be needed. I love this man, but am getting real tired.

[dreamrunner]

iprazhm-
Dont let yourself be the brundt of abuse.I know you believe that fiance is bp however that doesnt give him a right to emotionally control and abuse you.
If you just moved and your fiance is bp then the stress of relocating and the rest probably has got him into a hypomanic state which includes irritability.I know for me its very important to keep my enviroment very stable.Stability can be as small as a tidy,neat space or as big as avoiding triggers.
Sounds to me that you somehow need to intervene and get the help he needs.Its a tough one.
Good luck,I hope it works out.

[goofygirl]

I think it may have a role to play... right along with heredity. My grandmother was bipolar, and I know that in many ways, her life was a lot like mine with the abuse, a screwed up family, etc. I was sexually abused by non-family members (people my parents trusted that they shouldn't have and by so-called friends) I've been in abusive relationships... it goes on and on and on... until the here and now. Remembering those times has had me crawling out of my skin as of late.