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#1
Aug 04, 2016, 01:55 PM
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I'm tired of having these floods of depressing thoughts, unbearable anxiety, mixed feelings, self doubt, no confidence. I want to enjoy myself enjoy the gym again enjoy hitting pads in martial arts, I want to go out with my friends again and not have to worry what others think. I want to enjoy myself. I want to socialize. Meet pretty women make outstanding friendships. I want to hike climb a mountain or ride my mountain bike without any worries. I want this new me to have learned forgive myself but not forgotten what made me what I became and how much I despised it. I want to eliminate all thoughts of self harm and suicide. I want to love myself again. I want to be in a relationship, see the world and not be confined to my apartment. I want to get a pet I want to have my mom see me get married make my sisters proud and have my niece and nephew look at me in awe. I want to lift boulders and jump obstacles. I am tired of being depressed.
I WANT TO LIVE!
__________________
Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
 apfei, Coffeee, jacky8807, JustJace2u, MusicLover82, Skeezyks, Unrigged64072835, xRavenx, Yours_Truly
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 Christopher1990, Coffeee, Ellie_jo, jacky8807, JustJace2u, MusicLover82, Nick9075, Row Jimmy
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#2
Aug 04, 2016, 02:04 PM
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Wow. Way to go!
 So glad you're feeling this way. I'm envious. Wish I were where you're at.
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| Nick9075
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#3
Aug 04, 2016, 02:49 PM
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Don't worry about anything like lifting boulders. Step 1 - make yourself happy. Build some daily momentum with something or a combination of things. Right now, for me it's basically exercise, food, and routine. It has kind of led me to a feeling of goodness about every day. But it's taken four weeks or so to get to where I am now.
When we really consider it, "living" is basically doing what makes us happy. Anything else is counter-productive. The key is being able to deal with the negative stuff that brings us down because it *is* there, we just have to manage it. Once we make ourselves happy, things sort of fall into place. I've been thinking about it a lot lately.....I've been very selfish with my time. Without being a jerk, I'm focusing on ME for the first time in probably 20 years. After I get to a happy, consistent place, I can lift my boulders. BTW I climbed a mountain last week - 3,600 feet - all by myself. I had a blast......very cleansing. OK, rock on! |
| JustJace2u
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#4
Aug 04, 2016, 02:52 PM
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We all want this. It's not easy to achieve is it? The times I'm "normal" I'm flat, or I'm mixed, or depressed. That's my cycle lately. It sucks sitting at home in sweat pants every day doing the same **** over and over. Same pills. And for some of us, some substances for self medication. I'm guilty there. Anything to achieve that feeling where "I want to live!" Im glad you have a positive view for your goals. Keep it up and hopefully you'll do all these things and more! ((Hugs))
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#5
Aug 04, 2016, 03:07 PM
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Woo hooo I just picked up 4 hrs ot
__________________
Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
| jacky8807
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#6
Aug 04, 2016, 03:09 PM
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How do you want to live?
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Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
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#7
Aug 04, 2016, 03:35 PM
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I want to get out of this house and do some fun things. I want to get over this crippling perfectionism and go back to school so I can get a new job. (Even though I don't know what I want to major in yet.) I miss being able to go to an office job and work eight hours a day or more. I'm not used to being "retired." Is it a pipe dream? Maybe. It depends on the beast I feed.
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| Nick9075
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#8
Aug 04, 2016, 07:27 PM
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Kicked some pads and punched odd instead of kicking myself for not going. Win one.
__________________
Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
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#9
Aug 04, 2016, 07:47 PM
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I hate my life most days, but then there are moments of clarity where I do wanna feel sanity and actually live life to its fullest.
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Dx: BP2 and MDD Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia Diagnosed in May 2016 |
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#10
Aug 04, 2016, 09:11 PM
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Ouch legs killing me now.
__________________
Lactimal 175 mg Pristiq 100 mg Gabapentin 1800 mg Klonopin 1mg. Major depression Social anxiety disorder |
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#11
Aug 04, 2016, 11:25 PM
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YOU CAN DO IT!!! :-D Just don't overdo it all at once, of course.
__________________
...Out of night and alarm Out of terrible dreams Reach me your hand! This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep: The white peace of the waking. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~ Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart  Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN |
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