Troubles with responsibility

This is kind of embarrassing for me to talk about. I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow. I wonder if I should talk about this with her . I have been having difficulty at work. I've been very antsy. I am having trouble focusing. All I think about is all the fun I could be having if I wasn't there. It's difficult for me to sit still and I don't have a job I can just get up and walk around. I actually get anxiety over this. It's really embarrassing. It doesn't help things that I keep messing up at work either. It's really not like me and I love the people I work with. So I know it's not that.

I have also been feeling super excited for absolutely no reason . It's a real letdown when life isn't as magical as your mind makes it out to be. All I want to do is play. This is making responsibility extraordinarily difficult for me. It's funny I did not have this before. Generally, I don't have a problem at work.

On the flip side, sometimes I get so irritable and angry I don't want to leave my bedroom but I really have no choice. I was so angry at work one day that I had trouble coming down. I was in the back room crying for 20 min with my manager trying to calm me down. I get extremely sensitive to noise. Even the super cold temp my family keeps the house at is uncomfortable. All of this makes me so suicidal. I would not have to deal with any of it anymore!

Hello Bipolarchic14: Well... since you posted this yesterday, presumably, you've seen your pdoc by now. Hopefully you did bring this up to her. From my perspective it's worth mentioning. On the other hand, I don't know how your pdoc handles your appointments. All mine does is to see me for 10 minutes or so & I'm out the door. He only prescribes & monitors psych med's.

If your pdoc primarily just prescribes & monitors psych med's too, it may be that what you are experiencing would be better addressed with a therapist if you see one. Your pdoc may be able to prescribe some medication that would help to alleviate your anxiety. But, over the long term, this is really something that it would be best to resolve in therapy, if possible, so that you don't need to be relying on psych med's for it indefinitely. At least this is my thinking with regard to your post. I wish you well...

my psychiatrist prescribed me medicine for restlessness. I did also discuss the issues I was having in group therapy. My therapist is on vacation so I will see her a week from Tuesday.

I'm struggling at work too, I literally don't know how I make it through the day. I feel like I'm going to go crazy most days. I can't stand to sit there and I can't concentrate

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Have you ever needed to take a leave from work?

Have med changes ever helped this situation?

I hope your pdoc is available and you feel better soon.


WC

Sorry it took me so long to respond. Yes I took one last fall. I refuse to do that again this soon and honestly I shouldn't right now! I am more stable now than I was a year ago. I am seeing a therapist. We will have to discuss it. I am pretty sure she is going to laugh at me when I tell her I can't sit still at work and all I want to do is play. After all isn't that what we all want! She knows about the anger. Her words "go back on your medication." My medication made it difficult to make it through my work day. Falling asleep. On my days off sleeping 15 hrs. No way to live. So i am back on it but it is not as simple as they make it seem. This is why I feel so hopeless.