[Psychotic_Phil]

I hate all of my medications and want to stop them all. I want to be in an environment where there's some beer. I need a drink. I've been longing to be 18 now so I could drink out of this god forsaken house. The pills make me stupid and beer's the best medicine. Wow. Am I that much of a %#@&#! up piece of %#@&#!. This is heavy.

[Direction]

Hi Phil,

I felt like that before...unfortunately I'm of legal age...I can tell you from experience that adding a depressant like alcohol may squash a high though it will probably send you to the depths of depression...

Your list on your signature...not familiar with them all...have you been working with pdoc to give you the lowest dosage and still be effective (forgive me...my memory is bad)

[onyx69000]

hey sounds like it's time for a new cocktail of meds. ask about cymbalta it works great for me. and neurontin works as a mood stabilizer. that's my advice. plus don't want to drink depressant like directions said not a good combo your friend-onyx

[dreamrunner]

I want to drink and go "crazy"sometimes too.It always makes things worse.
I hear ya Phil....good luck.

[mydarlin]

I too want to drink to get lost....or to just not feel anything....my doc has me on
Lamictal 25 mg
neurotion 600 mg
prozac 80 mg
topamax 200 mg

hope this helps....
my T says that it is because since I am bipolar I want to disconnect from the feelings because it is what I have learned to do over the years to deal with the rush of emotions instead of actually feeling the feelings and getting caught up in them. Except when I get in a depressed or manic episode.

[Psychotic_Phil]

Well, I'm not Bipolar. I'm Schizoaffective, so they say. I only posted here because they say I have a prominent mood disorder, especially recurrent suicidal depression. I don't believe it. God just send me a %#@&#! beer. I hate my life. If I can't have this remedy then I have no reason to live.

[mydarlin]

My kids are my reason to live....and my T keeps tellin me that sooner or later there is gonna be a blue sky amist all this black. And we won't feel like we need to drink or do drugs to numb all the pain or get away from feeling. Hang in there honey bear it is gonna be okay because we are all here for you....we are all here for each other....We all get sick of taking the pills everyday, many times a day. You are going to see blue skies!!!!

Keep this in mind....when I hit my low and start posting about how life sucks......

mydarlin,

good post, i agree with everything you said. buy it sure would be nice to have a beer just once in awhile.. :~]

me,,,,

[mydarlin]

Hate to sound like a hipocrite....I still have mine...even though they keep telling me that I shouldn't. This weekend was the first weekend in quite a while that I have gone without any alchol. Yes, I enjoyed the weekend and spending time with my family....but I thought about having the alchol.
Just wanted to be honest with all of you guys about this. Cause there is nothing worse to me than someone who preaches one thing and does the other.

[Bipolar_Like_Me]

The only road that alcohol is going to lead you down is a road filled with more pain and sorrow. Just ask me, I'm a recovering alcoholic. Your problems don't go away, they just get worse when you get back to them. Yes, I will agree that alcohol will temporarily help to take your emotions away, but sooner or later you are going to have to deal with them or end up drinking yourself to death. That is what my choice ended up being in the end and I chose to live and deal with my emotions and my illness. I hope that you will do the same. I'm not preaching at you . . . just speaking form personal experience.

[mydarlin]

I am working with my T to learn to deal and feel my emotions and then learn coping skills....something I didn't learn as a child....I just wanted to make sure everyone knew that I was being totallly honest...with everyone and myself