Just feeling lost.....

<font color="purple">wasnt really sure where to put this and mainly its just a ramble... lately I have been feeling very lost... lost in myself, lost in the others, lost in my world... I feel like I am not really here, like I am in a robiotic state, going thru the motions of life... emotions are jumbled, cant sort them, but at the same time feel kinda emotionless.... what's real and what isnt... feeling like every part of me is separate... both physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.... I want to sleep... which may be a contributing factor b/c I have not been sleeping well for about a month now... the nightmares stopped, which is good... feeling withdrawn and detached... but not sad or happy... not content and not crazed.. I just dont know... almost wish one of the others would come to the forefront and put some meaning or something into this empty shell.... </font>

(((((((((((((((((Serenityswave))))))))))))))))))))

sending hugs .... i hear you my friend .... i know what you mean ..... love, Jinny xoxoxoxo

me too. hugs! it is hard to be in that floating place where nothing has definitive borders.
kiya

I thank you Jinnyann and Kiya for the hugs and understanding...its much appreciated....

"in that floating place where nothing has definitive borders" Kiya this describes it very well....

What often helps in that borderless field of any direction is to give yourself some....

Set a small goal,,one that is easily achieved...wash your car or some mundane physical activity.

But finish it,,,and feel well about it...

Do it again..

Then do something ,,anything for anyone without any expectation..

You will have moved yourself...and there will be tracks of from where you came..

It is important to make tracks in our world...

IMHO.

Lenny

(((((((((((SerenitysWave))))))))))) I so understand what you mean. It's such a hard place to be. I'm so glad the nightmares have stopped. When I don't sleep at night, everything is harder for me during the day, even if I don't feel tired. Can you maybe get something to help you sleep at night? The only time I ever remember being fully aware and in my brain has been in T's office but grounding stuff does help sometimes.

I hope things get better soon. Please take care.

Lenny: It seems more dofficult at home.. whereas at work, there are those things that I have to get done ... and I do.. and I do it well ... and then I strive to get a little extra done too.. and I feel good about being able to do a good job, being productive, and being an asset to the company and my co-workers.. I feel I have purpose and make a difference there...still disconnected from it...

At home... is where the mind of emptiness sets in... I reflect and try to connect with myself and others on a more personal and deeper level than at work it just isnt happening...

I did enjoy a hot bubble bath and did some poetry writing... I set out to clean out a bedroom for renovation and did more than I anticipated...

wanttoheal: on ocassion I take melatone (sp?) it helps me get a better night sleep for the few hours that I am able to, not as restless and startely...

(((lenny))) and (((wanttoheal))) thank you for your words of wisdom and support... it helps to know people are out there that understand and care...

One can tell how you're trying to get out of this void... I hope you'll soon find your way to: peace at mind, creativity at heart and good vibes around you.

I feel like I'm in a glass jar... the lid is on... I can't get out... looking at the outside world with empty eyes...

lost the compass... running in the woods of a foreign land

((((((((((( SerenitysWave )))))))))))) The light will come back to shine on you...

((((daynnight))))

I often have mental states where I feel disconnected or "out of it" and where its hard to get back in focus. I don't like it when that happens.

But, I have observed that no matter what is going on...things change. I know sometimes it gets really bad, but it always moves on again and it will get better.

Please just don't give up in this life. You will get past this. I care and hope it will get better fast.

multipixie9

Sometimes i dissociate. I find reading the bible helps to heal the split in my personality and make me whole again. I guess this is because i usually shut off the part of me that feels emotions/love and the bible concentrates on those areas, so it unlocks it for me and I am able to feel again.

I dont know if this comment will help but...do things which will unlock the parts of your personality you've buried. Try it, it cant hurt.

I do pray and in past read the bible or other faith based materials to re-connect....

Today I am feeling better, a start to the reconnection...emotionally still withdrawn... but not feeling so unattached.... today its easier to breathe... i can feel my physical parts, they dont feel so separate... more in present mind set...

Thank you ! (((((everyone)))))

SophiaG- that is a really good idea, never would have thought of it. Hmmm wonder if that will work for me cause one part is very Bad, Not hurt anyone Bad but I used to call her devilish(until i realized not to be mean to her), what to do? Do/did you have a part like this , if i may ask?