Bad thoughts

I just got out of the ward two weeks ago. My mom picked me up from 6 hours away because I crashed on the floor from low blood sugar from binge drinking and not eating for two days.

I haven't had any issues with mania, but I have super anxious and severely dperessed. the meds aren't working and I barely remember to take them anyway.

I'm so lonely and I cry everyday. I can't afford the ward or to lose my jobs and I'm having bad thoughts again.

What do I do?

I'm up too in the middle of the night. I remember you from a while ago on here. Hang in there. You're not alone. I'm up with a racing mind, too.

Dear Henrydavidtherobot,
Can you afford one appointment with a psychiatrist? You likely need to change your medications and completely stop drinking alcohol (at least until you are no longer depressed. Alcohol is a depressant.) Trazodone provided only minimal help with my insomnia and then no help; plus, it made me extremely thirsty.
I hope things get better for you.
Sincerely, Myst

I'm between insurance and the city I live in has a 6 month waiting period. I see a family doctor for meds currently. She referred me to a P.

The 6 month waiting period is tough. Have noticed that there are not enough psychiatrists in the city I live in to keep up with the demand. Is your family doc willing to adjust your medications? Have you let him/her know that it's a 6 month wait to see a psychiatrist? Hang in there, sounds like a tough time. If it gets to bad, don't be afraid to call your mom again.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Staying active here by posting about yourself and posting in other's threads may help you. You will feel supported and know you are not alone.

It took me awhile to stop drinking but my mood radically improved when I did.

I don't know what else to do. I'm so bored. I do other hobbies. I can't do them all day and all night.

Take it from a alcoholic, drinking will only make it worse. Many times I wake up mixed or depressed from drinking. I too got out of the ward about two weeks ago and it was alcohol that put me there. I haven't had a drink since. It's hard but I know it's not worth screwing with my meds or moods. Hang in there. Keep posting.

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I would never advocate drinking while depressed or bored but when in a decent mood I actually found alcohol made me able to cry and release a lot of inner tension that I hadn't been able to let go. Of course it's not a good coping method and this was not while I was feeling depressed. Since you are drinking though, it's at the very least good that I see you are only on Lamictal for your mood stabilizer since that's milder than say Lithium for example. I absolutely avoided drinking while on Lithium (can't even imagine how even more dehydrated it would have made me as well).

Sorry that things are so rough for you right now and I do hope things level out soon and you are able to keep your jobs.

Quit drinking - that's Step 1. I quit over a year ago and every day, my mind seems more clear and I'm able to *think*. I still struggle with the BP but I can handle things much better now.

A lot of stuff fell into place for me once I stopped drinking. I'm not sure, but I think I drank when I was manic so every time I was in a good mood, I'd enhance it with drugs and alcohol. Then I'd crash into a wall. I don't miss booze at all.