[scatterbrained04]

I really only like the hypomanic version of myself. I don't know who these other people are.

Anyone else feel like this?

My hypomanic self tends to be over-talkative and kinda annoying. I just have so much energy that I'm going too fast for my own good. Then I think people get annoyed because they're overwhelmed.

So in my case, I don't really like my hypomanic self. Is that weird? I'm probably the only one who feels this way.

Don't get me wrong, though. I *love* hypomania... just not my hypomanic personality so much.

[jacky8807]

I love my hypomanic (not manic) self. I'm fast talking sure but I'm fast doing I'm smarter more creative better at work understand the universe feel at one spiritually more fun to be around ....able to tap into an awesome brain.
The list goes on
Sigh. I want it back lol

[gina_re]

I get a heck of a lot more work done! Of course I miss it. But if I get a good caffeine buzz, that's almost as good.

[jacky8807]

Besides...being hypo means I'm free of anxiety and depression completely. Who wouldn't want that!?

[scatterbrained04]

Hypo me is prettier, thinner, smarter, and more creative. Has ambition. Her house is clean. She cooks. And exercises. Has hobbies. Does well at work. Is a waaaay better mom. Literally the ONLY bad thing is spending a little too much money. Makes me feel pretty inadequate the rest of the time

[Victoria'smom]

I'm a much better person hypo manic.

[Gabyunbound]

I'm much much better at my job -which requires a lot of alertness and quick-thinking- when hypomanic and, for that matter, pre-AP's. My ability to do my work now, which I had done well for so many years, before AP's, is demoralizing. I'm an interpreter, and when hypomanic, I was the interpreter of all interpreters. It sucks, it really does.

[xRavenx]

When I'm not hypomanic, I look back and don't like that version of myself. However, when I am actively hypomanic (and not irritable), I usually have a higher opinion of myself and like how I am sharp-minded, social, very friendly, and hard working. I draw more people to me when hypomanic. However, in hindsight, I feel that I am really annoying during the peak of hypomania. Certain family members have no problem telling me how annoying I am when I get that way.

[searching4732]

My hypomanic self is awesome. She's brilliant, gorgeous, seductive, hilarious, efficient, outgoing, and adventurous. I wish seriously wish I could just turn the hypomania on when I want/need it. Like scatterbrained04 said-- makes my actual self seem pretty inadequate. (Makes my depressed self feel like an utter failure.)

[vjdragonfly]

Life is good when I'm hypomanic. I feel like that SHOULD be the norm. I'm happy and my family thinks things are the way they should be for me. I'm a little crazy (do ridiculous things), talk a lot and actually WANT to get out of my house. I just come out of a hypomania not to long ago. What sucks is having to tell my family not to get excited, this is not the new me. I know it will pass and all too soon.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I totally get it. As a matter of fact, my substance abuse was always to get hypo. So now that I'm sober and fresh out of IP, I'm stable and bored AF. Every day I crave the feeling of being "up" or...high.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by gina_re

I get a heck of a lot more work done! Of course I miss it. But if I get a good caffeine buzz, that's almost as good.

Try Depakote. It'll make it impossible to get a caffeine buzz. Probably the worst side effect I've experienced with it, other than the possible liver damage.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

I totally get it. As a matter of fact, my substance abuse was always to get hypo. So now that I'm sober and fresh out of IP, I'm stable and bored AF. Every day I crave the feeling of being "up" or...high.

Ditto this. Hypo and getting high go hand in hand for me. Stable and sober is boring also. What I've been trying to do is fine more enjoyment in life elsewhere, like spending time with my wife and kids, working on our new house, performing at work, etc. It's not really a replacement for hypo or high feelings, but there is some satisfaction.

My doctor said, "You're getting a taste of what life is like for the rest of us."

[Tucson]

Please do not take the following in the wrong way, but I do not understand why anyone would want to be manic or depressed at all, even hypomanic. Sure there are good aspects of this illness, but that is only one side of the picture. What about being impulsive and there is that risk taking behavior? Perhaps the hypomania that everyone likes, where they are in complete control is not what the psychiatrists refer to as part of the illness? IMO diagnosis is made when the behavior can become destructive. It is only when this becomes self-destructive when the professional would consider it a problem. But I do understand why some would like the good type of hypomania over the more manic symptoms, or depression.

Just some thoughts.

If I had a choice, I preferr hypimania over depression. It feels better, no, it feel good, like a drug. I do not like feeling drugged. I would rather feel "normal". I can still get allot done when I am in this state of mind, I am smart, and life is good. However, I would like the energy and exhuberance that I had when I was young. But this is not hypomania that I am talking about here. Perhaps exersize, a ballanced life, and eating healthy foods would provide this to me? Also appreciating what I already have, and planning good things for the future can help too?

What do all of you think?

FWIW

Tucson

[jpb4815]

I am hypomanic ATM so I do not mis it. In fact I want it to shoo so that I can get some sleep and I don't do anything stupid, my friends are getting sick of babysitting my dumba$$ and they would like for me to go back to normal. But god this feels great sometimes, if only I could bottle this and sell it I would be rich beyond belief.

[gina_re]

Well I've had "good" hypomania and "bad" hypomania. The bad hypomania I was self destructive, doing things I know I shouldn't be doing, but I did them anyway. But I wasn't cognizant of these bad behaviors at the time of committing them.
Good hypomania I experienced earlier this year I GOT SO MUCH CLEANING DONE! And it was way overdue since I had been ignoring cleaning anything due to depression. I was really productive at work. And I didn't have to put so much effort into going about my day. But it's the crash that hurts.

[jacky8807]

[QUOTE=Tucson;5267468]Please do not take the following in the wrong way, but I do not understand why anyone would want to be manic or depressed at all, even hypomanic. Sure there are good aspects of this illness, but that is only one side of the picture. What about being impulsive and there is that risk taking behavior? Perhaps the hypomania that everyone likes, where they are in complete control is not what the psychiatrists refer to as part of the illness? IMO diagnosis is made when the behavior can become destructive. It is only when this becomes self-destructive when the professional would consider it a problem. But I do understand why some would like the good type of hypomania over the more manic symptoms, or depression.

Just some thoughts.

If I had a choice, I preferr hypimania over depression. It feels better, no, it feel good, like a drug. I do not like feeling drugged. I would rather feel "normal". I can still get allot done when I am in this state of mind, I am smart, and life is good. However, I would like the energy and exhuberance that I had when I was young. But this is not hypomania that I am talking about here. Perhaps exersize, a ballanced life, and eating healthy foods would provide this to me? Also appreciating what I already have, and planning good things for the future can help too?

What do all of you think?

FWIW

For me it's like a drug too and I prefer it over feeling normal any day.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Well I've had "good" hypomania and "bad" hypomania. The bad hypomania I was self destructive, doing things I know I shouldn't be doing, but I did them anyway. But I wasn't cognizant of these bad behaviors at the time of committing them.

Good hypomania I experienced earlier this year I GOT SO MUCH CLEANING DONE! And it was way overdue since I had been ignoring cleaning anything due to depression. I was really productive at work. And I didn't have to put so much effort into going about my day. But it's the crash that hurts.

I'm with you on this, gina. Good hypo for me is getting an amazing amount of work done well, building custom shelving in our walk-in closet, playing pool and ping-pong with my boys, playing dolls and dancing with my younger daughters, and cooking and cleaning with my wife.

Bad hypo is me stuck building a computer, trying night and day to figure out whether it's the motherboard bios or video card chipset that's causing problems, isolating myself and working on the budget to nail down every single dollar we own, working really long hours, etc.

One time I had a great psychiatrist explain hypo to me this way: it's all those good feelings and accomplishments in one or two areas of life, while letting the other one or two major areas of life go neglected. For example - excelling at work while the home life goes to $h1t. Or excelling at home and entertainment while work or whatever other major item in your life goes to h311 in a handbasket.

He said that's basically the definition of hypo. Not manic to the point of running naked down the street, or psychotic to the point where you think you can jump off a church steeple and fly, but given time in that state, one or more major areas of your life will be negatively affected....and we with BP might be totally clueless as to the damage we are causing others.

I know this is true with me when I am hypo, and even though I crave hypo like a drug, my choice is to be stable as best I can and to work with my docs to ensure the right cocktail is on-board. I despise the necessity of taking meds, some of which have serious side effects, but in the end it's my choice as I believe in the long run it will provide the best possible outcome - not just for me, but fir those I love and am responsible to and for.

Med compliance is a choice, and I choose it.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hypo doesn't do much for me. Yeah I got more stuff done. But since I also have GAD it increases my anxiety. I'd rather not have my anxiety amped up. I'd rather be stable and as stress-free as possible.

[searching4732]

Originally Posted by bioChE

I'm with you on this, gina. Good hypo for me is getting an amazing amount of work done well, building custom shelving in our walk-in closet, playing pool and ping-pong with my boys, playing dolls and dancing with my younger daughters, and cooking and cleaning with my wife.

Bad hypo is me stuck building a computer, trying night and day to figure out whether it's the motherboard bios or video card chipset that's causing problems, isolating myself and working on the budget to nail down every single dollar we own, working really long hours, etc.

One time I had a great psychiatrist explain hypo to me this way: it's all those good feelings and accomplishments in one or two areas of life, while letting the other one or two major areas of life go neglected. For example - excelling at work while the home life goes to $h1t. Or excelling at home and entertainment while work or whatever other major item in your life goes to h311 in a handbasket.

He said that's basically the definition of hypo. Not manic to the point of running naked down the street, or psychotic to the point where you think you can jump off a church steeple and fly, but given time in that state, one or more major areas of your life will be negatively affected....and we with BP might be totally clueless as to the damage we are causing others.

I know this is true with me when I am hypo, and even though I crave hypo like a drug, my choice is to be stable as best I can and to work with my docs to ensure the right cocktail is on-board. I despise the necessity of taking meds, some of which have serious side effects, but in the end it's my choice as I believe in the long run it will provide the best possible outcome - not just for me, but fir those I love and am responsible to and for.

Med compliance is a choice, and I choose it.

This! I completely lose balance when I'm hypomanic. I excel tremendously in one certain area, devote 200% of myself to it, and then some other area of my life starts falling apart entirely. That's such a great description that really resonates with me, thank you for sharing, bioChE!

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by searching4732

This! I completely lose balance when I'm hypomanic. I excel tremendously in one certain area, devote 200% of myself to it, and then some other area of my life starts falling apart entirely. That's such a great description that really resonates with me, thank you for sharing, bioChE!

Thanks for the thanks, Searching. The credit belongs to a Dr. Kumar; and in the interest of anonymity I won't share his first name. Had the privilege of working with him for eight years.

[RomanJames2014]

Same.
I hate Normal Roman and I LOVE hypomanic Roman. Roman when he is hypomanic is so much fun and laughs and sees everything with a whole new birth of life.
When I am hypo I get stuff done and I have a confidance.

i went off my lithium to try and get him back but I instead started dealing with depression and anxiety due to alot of tress and loss right now.

I miss hypomanic Roman sooooo much (crys a little and get back to work)