Having trouble dealing

I have been living with bipolar disorder for 9 years now and I must say it has been a journey. I don't always stay on my meds and I end up making very bad decisions. Right now I'm going through a crisis that I caused because when I was manic I did a lot of impulse shopping. I'm fighting with myself about whether I need to go into the hospital to get well again. I have three children to support and my decisions are costing us everything. I just wish I would stay on my meds and continue therapy so that I can make life better for us. I'm sorry if this is long. I just needed to vent my feelings because I feel so down right now.

Why do you stop your meds? Because you feel better, don't like the side effects, don't like the way they make you feel? Whatever the reason tell your pdoc that they are not working to see if he can prescribe something better.
Whether or not you need a hospital visit is in the end your decision alone, but do talk to a pdoc or therapist about your feelings because once again you may only need a med change.
Above all remember what your decisions are costing you and your family if you think it out well it should be enough to stay on your meds get your therapist to help with this as well.

Your post is hardly long at all, don't worry about it.

Welcome to PC and we hope you find what you are looking for here.

Tell us more.....
bizi
welcome to the forums!

Welcome

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time.

I agree with bizi and Ripose. Tell us more, and definitely reach out to a therapist or psychiatrist if you can.

Sorry I don't have much advice, but I wanted to give you some support

Hi welcome to the forum.

Welcome to PC!

Welcome to PC. If I read your post correctly, you're not in therapy right now, right? Do you have access to a therapist or pdoc you trust?

You're not alone in struggling with either med compliance or sticking with therapy - it's something many with BP have a hard time with. I also can particularly relate to your worry about how your decisions when you're in an episode affect your kids. This is a great place to come and share what's on your mind, get advice, and mostly (for me) get judgment-free support and understanding from people who have been where you are.

Keep posting and you'll find a lot of willing and caring people here, ready to help.

Thanks everyone for replying. I went and talked to a doctor and he prescribed me Zyprexa. I must say that it is certainly working. Along with the therapy that I received today and the meds I feel like I can deal with this crisis. I just know that I have to stay compliant with my meds and therapy. If not for myself then for my children. I'm not going to let this get the best of me.