[ComfortablyNumb5]

I was in IP last month and I'm happy to say I am now stable and NO MORE drinking! For awhile I fell back into old habits and started drinking again. I'd wake up mixed and irritated from it and just drink more to cope. It wasn't pretty. Finally I snapped. And it was UGLY! I have to say that I'm pretty bored now a days though lol. Not going to lie, I miss hypo. For a long time I used substances to reach hypo and make an *** out of myself on a almost daily basis. I'm embarrassed and full of shame. I'm also pretty lonely seeing that getting sober meant cutting some friends and family out of my life. It's kind of sad really. So here I am... Stable...sober...bored lol.

So what state are you in right now mentally?

[mindwrench]

I've been wondering if anyone else tried making themselves switch into hypo or manic episodes from depressive mode. I used to do that a lot when depressed, and when the episodes were mostly euphoric and high energy, but not so much since they became mixed or hellish sometimes. I am not on meds, as I turned them down until I meet my new pdoc, and do some thorough diagnosing first.

Right this moment I am descent, I've been flip flopping today between descent, and teetering on a panic attack.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm a little depressed. Enough to sleep and stay in bed, enough not to really care but not enough to be bad.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm ok. Worried about some things and curious how my pdoc will address some thing next week that bother me.

Also wishing I didn't have stupid insomnia

[wildflowerchild25]

I'm getting depressed every three or four days. Just mildly and just for the day. I think forgetting to put my patch on regularly is having an impact. Today I can't sleep but I did just read one of my chapters for school so that's good I guess. I don't know how much I actually absorbed bc I didn't take notes this time. I'll probably read it again tomorrow before I take the quiz.

I have a lot of stress in my life but it's good stress for the most part.

[Nammu]

Mostly stable but have been hugging the bed pretty tighty the last few days.

[xRavenx]

Definitely depressed....spiraling downward. Very high anxiety. I hope it does not turn into a mixed episode. I stay up most the night without the need to sleep, and my therapist observed my speech as pressured the other day.

[raspberrytorte]

Anxious. On verge of freaking out. Can't sleep. Paranoid.

Not in an episode or anything. That's just how I feel right now.

I think I am agitated and angry and stressed all at the same time

I just got out of a severe depression that lasted almost 3 weeks. (I'm rapid cycling and my episodes are short, but frequent, often with 3-4 weeks in between.)

So... right now I'm "stable" and feeling good, but I'm sure within a month I'll have another episode.

heavily depressed, with the odd day where it's not so bad (today being 1 of those days)

having suicidal thoughts, but i'm not acted on them.

after the fact i was in hospital during april because i did actually attempt, i don't want to go back in to soon

Originally Posted by mindwrench

I've been wondering if anyone else tried making themselves switch into hypo or manic episodes from depressive mode.

Wonder no longer: around 2004 I induced mania from a state of profound depression with an improvised flood dose of OTC DXM after reading something on Erowid. I'm not proud of it, it could have killed me, and I can't recommend it, but it worked.

My present state is a tenuous grasp on condition Cookie Monster, slipping inevitably into Oscar. I caught myself thinking about ECT today.

[scatterbrained04]

Stressed and tired but mostly ok. I've been dealing with a few days of depression and anxiety here and there.

[Unrigged64072835]

Okay for the time being. Wondering if this the baseline.

[jpb4815]

My head is spinning, I had a marriage counseling session yesterday afternoon, saw my wife for the first time in over a week. Realized that it may well be the last time I see her as my wife, and not just the mother of my children.
I went out last night and saw some really great music with a core group of friends, stayed at a friends house, and forgot to bring my meds. kinda freaking out about missing a Day but ok I guess. Looking forward to another day in intensive outpatient therapy, getting ready to leave work and go do some work on me. Don't know how I am going to cope with this split shift thing at work, but I am glad that they are letting me do it rather than forcing me to go back on FMLA.

Got the urge to do something stupid last night but with no help from anybody but the voices of counsellors and therapists past I got an Uber and went back to where I am staying. I feel good about that.

[hopeless2015]

I'm having a good week and hoping this lasts for awhile. I've had some anxiety but was able to push through it, maybe my coping skills are getting better finally

[Wild Coyote]

Not sure, as I have a lot of stress from a variety of medical conditions, including chronic pain. I get very tired of ongoing appts, ongoing tests, ongoing complications. Things can be pretty good and can suddenly go south.

It's best for me to live in the Present Moment.

I hope everyone has a fun weekend!


WC

moderate verging on severe depression...fml

[Fuzzybear]

Not sure...
Grrr about being allergic to yet another substance/activity...Either hair washing/shower or sunglasses or both

Or maybe benzos? Although I've been taking these for a long time with no allergic reaction..

Dislike using strong medications on my face

As I'm a bear I think I'll just wash in the river and not get my ears wet

[fishin fool]

I am slightly depressed

I would say I am pretty stable. I am certainly not depressed. I do experience a bit of irritation these days however. But though wary, I am not thinking this is a sign of moving into hypo/mania. I do feel an amount of elation but I think it is to be expected given the good and active summer I've just had. If anything I am concerned that now that the summer of activity has come to an end that there is the potental for boredom and depression to set in.

[whoamihere]

I'm pretty stable right now

[piano97]

Trying to get into a more stable zone. Had some mixed stuff earlier this week. Took PRN this morning again. I think I'm settling out. I obsess A LOT when I'm not stable. I don't even see it till it starts to subside.

[GGChar]

Treading lightly. I feel really good. Great sense of humor, obsessed with music, wanting to draw, create. Not afraid of some sticky situations I've had to address. I have to be careful there and not think I can save the world.

I almost bought 2 tickets to a concert I had no one to go with. Came close to buying an extravagant item for myself. What was I thinking??? SO proud of myself: I thought it through and didn't make the purchases. I didn't like the feeling though.

[piano97]

LOL GG, why do we do that? I do the "I can save the whole world" stuff too. It's funny when I'm in a better place, but I'm super serious about it at the time. I need a handler. LOL. Someone that can filter all thoughts, etc. Would keep me more stable.

I'm doing better today though.