[Bluegirl1226]

Does anyone else ever think that maybe you’re not bipolar? When I’m doing really well like right now I begin to think that maybe I’m not bipolar after all. Maybe I have been faking it all along and I should just quit taking my meds. Then I think about how crazy I was before I got on meds. But the thought still floats in and out of my mind though. I just have to keep reminding myself that I really am crazy (for lack of a better word)

[mjw24]

Originally Posted by Bluegirl1226

Does anyone else ever think that maybe you’re not bipolar? When I’m doing really well like right now I begin to think that maybe I’m not bipolar after all. Maybe I have been faking it all along and I should just quit taking my meds. Then I think about how crazy I was before I got on meds. But the thought still floats in and out of my mind though. I just have to keep reminding myself that I really am crazy (for lack of a better word)

Just make it simple (easier said than done in our brains right? Lol). Just ask yourself: What was I like before meds? What am I like on meds?...if your answer is that you feel stable on meds then you are bipolar and you need them...I understand how that thought creeps into your mind though. That's happened to me a million times too... once you accept that it's something that you have...an illness...and not who you are as a person, you can keep moving forward in the healing process. You just have to accept it. Hope that helps.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Been through this and please stay on your meds. It's not worth it

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm actually having those thoughts myself these days, as I've been stable for some time and find myself toying with the (extremely remote) possibility that I might not be BP. Maybe I'm just in an existential crisis which has taken years to finally go away. Maybe I ought to try going without meds for a little while to find out for sure...

Um, no.

I've been diagnosed by four different mental health providers. Besides, I know I'm not making this stuff up---my manic episodes have happened, my depressive episodes have happened, my mixed episodes have REALLY happened. It's real, and tantalizing myself with the idea that maybe this is just a nightmare I've been having for the past five years doesn't do much to help me get a grip. And I'm not going off my meds anytime soon, I promise.

[hopeless2015]

Yes I just recently told my husband that I'm not going to keep taking my meds and his reply was I might want to think about it some more....I did and I know I need them

[Crazy Hitch]

I've had some terrible experiences off meds ... I know I'm bp because I didn't sleep properly once for nearly a month ... 2 to 4 hours here and there - I was totally manic and delusional

Many bipolar's feel this way. It is a mistake. I went off my meds last year, then had a horrible mixed episode that went on for months.

[franz kafka]

Whenever I'm well I think I'm better and don't have BP. It takes a lot of faith in my pdoc to continue with meds.

[fishin fool]

Always have those thoughts when I am doing well.
We all hate meds but I have to remember all the crap I did before I was on meds.
Stay on your meds it is very important.

[Unrigged64072835]

I still am working on stability so my being unstable is still fresh in my mind. As much as I hate taking meds I realize that my illness is such that even to remain stable I must take them.

[Cocosurviving]

I have thoughts like this when I've been doing well for a period of time. I wonder why I'm even taking meds because ppl with bp do not go as long as I have with no symptoms lol. This is really what I think in my head. Then I read over some of my old blog postings....post I made before I was on meds when symptoms were present. Then reality sets in. I have post I made when I was manic as hell. When I was mixed. They are just really out in left lane to say the least

[BipolaRNurse]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I have thoughts like this when I've been doing well for a period of time. I wonder why I'm even taking meds because ppl with bp do not go as long as I have with no symptoms lol. This is really what I think in my head. Then I read over some of my old blog postings....post I made before I was on meds when symptoms were present. Then reality sets in. I have post I made when I was manic as hell. When I was mixed. They are just really out in left lane to say the least

I do the same thing with my blog posts. I can look back over time and see where I was in reasonably good shape, and where I went off the rails. I'm glad I have those chronicles to refer to when I get to thinking I'm ten feet tall and bulletproof.

[Blaire]

Yes, I wonder that a lot. Even when I'm unstable, I wonder if I'm actually fine but just have terrible coping skills. I blame myself a lot. I'd say when I'm deeply depressed is when I question it the most. That's when I become convinced that I'm not sick at all, I'm just a wasted broken lazy person who should die. Which is obviously a problem.

The thing that is tricky, is that I "present" well. I have OCPD as well so I am a perfectionist. So when I am in an episode. I try really hard to hide it. I rarely get very drunk. I don't get kicked out of places. I don't act overly flashy or overly sexual. I rarely do harder drugs than weed.

I am also in therapy.

Are you in therapy? Doe usually "Look" very noticeable when in an episode

[Monteiralis]

That has happened to me several times and it has never ended up good. The worst is when police found me trying to direct traffic at a busy intersection with my mind. Since then I have learned how to use coping skills effectively, go to therapy, have a healthy diet, do yoga, get acupuncture, meditate, pray, do "Tapping", have a structured routine, do massive amounts of psych research and educate myself, have wellness tools, have a good amount of insight and have a wonderful Psychiatrist who used to be a Pharmacologist. I am on Zyprexa 2.5mg, 900 mg of Neurontin and 15 mg of Adderall XR. My medications usually go up or down in dosage every 3 months or sooner if I am experiencing any added stress. Much love and peace.

[OctobersBlackRose]

I feel the same way, been questioning my Dx for awhile even though I'm responding to meds, but I feel like nothing is wrong or Im cured or Im just taking it, and should just stop my meds.amd all treatment. But then I'm remember what I was like before meds and don't want to go back to that, it's hard though.

[mtnannie]

Like others said, I remind myself of how bad it was when I wasn't medicated. I have the "advantage" of having delusions and hallucinations that have left me with some very stark memories of being off my meds when they happened. Anyway I keep these handy in my brain so that I can remind myself to remind myself. Do it enough and it gets to be a strong self-suggestion. Stay on them.