[franz kafka]

I'm having obsessive suicidal and self-harm thoughts, to the point where my fiancee is hiding my meds from me. On TV last night I saw various suicide methods depicted and all I could feel was intense interest. Right now it feels inevitable and I'm just delaying.

At what point is this too much? I'm still at the point where I don't want to hurt other people or fail to follow through on my responsibilities. But the urges are so strong too... how long will I care?

How did you know the suicidal ideation was too much?

[wildflowerchild25]

When I'm at the point you are, I go to the ER. When I can see myself doing it and I'm no longer safe at home I go to the ER and check myself into the hospital.

[LucyG]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Suicide ideation can be a side-effect of common meds. I had been on klonopin for years, went off all meds and then decided to take it again for a sleep disorder. Within 3 days I was sobbing uncontrollably and actually trying to figure out how to kill myself. I'd never done this before or since. Finally I remembered my sister telling me that a neurologist told her a certain med could cause anxiety so I decided to google klonopin and see if suicide ideation was a side-effect. Sure enough it was!! I went off it and my mood returned to normal.

Google your meds with the terms 'side-effects, suicide ideation' and see if you find anything. You could be okay at one dosage, but if you increased it recently, that could trigger it.

If you're seriously concerned you'll hurt yourself, call 911 and tell them you're considering harming yourself. They'll send an ambulance to take you to the hospital.

[gayleggg]

Definitely call 911 or go to the ER. Having these thoughts are something you can't ignore. Could be a problem with your meds. They may just need tweaking to pull you out of this depression. Get help.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

I would either call 911 or go to the hospital as others have said. If I were in your shoes I would definitely seek help for myself.

[Skeezyks]

The Skeezyks has struggled with suicidal ideation for years. (I've also been self-harming.) I've actually tried to take myself out in a big way twice. Both times I did this, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision... no pre-planning involved. I presume not everyone has this experience. But it is one potential danger here.

While you may feel you're still more-or-less able to control your urges there is at least the possibility that, at some point, you could simply decide all-of-a-sudden that you've had enough & you're going to end it all right there-&-then. You may or may not succeed. If you do, you will leave behind a trail of tears that will echo down through the futures of many lives. If you don't, you'll likely create a lot of heartache & confusion to say nothing of the financial cost of hospitalization & recovery. So please reach out now, in real life, for the help you need.

By the way, if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, why on earth are you watching TV programs that depict various methods of suicide?

Like skeez, my attempts were spur of the moment with no pre-planning as well. So I'm always confused about going to the hospital. If I went everytime I had SI, I'd live there and I hardly think that is my best option. I was told by my doctor that my SI might always be present in some way.

So with all that said, I have a very difficult time saying when it's time for someone to go to the hospital with SI. When I start having the methods and likelihood of success flash through my head on loop, my husband takes control of all meds or pills of might use and I warn him I'm having bad thoughts. Well actually, sometimes I tell him, sometimes I have delusions which keep me from talking.

I would probably recommend you at least tell a doctor about this ASAP. It's always best to error on the side of caution right? This is about something very important ....it's about your life. Best to take this very seriously if it feels out of the norm....and since you felt compelled to write about it here....I'd say it's probably urgent. Call someone right away. Stay safe.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

The Skeezyks has struggled with suicidal ideation for years. (I've also been self-harming.) I've actually tried to take myself out in a big way twice. Both times I did this, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision... no pre-planning involved. I presume not everyone has this experience. But it is one potential danger here.

While you may feel you're still more-or-less able to control your urges there is at least the possibility that, at some point, you could simply decide all-of-a-sudden that you've had enough & you're going to end it all right there-&-then. You may or may not succeed. If you do, you will leave behind a trail of tears that will echo down through the futures of many lives. If you don't, you'll likely create a lot of heartache & confusion to say nothing of the financial cost of hospitalization & recovery. So please reach out now, in real life, for the help you need.

By the way, if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, why on earth are you watching TV programs that depict various methods of suicide?

I totally understand where you're coming from. My last suicide attempt was spur of the moment. I just couldn't take it anymore and snapped. Now I have a gigantic scar and family and friends that treat me like a child for the most part.

Seeing the aftermath of the most recent attempt (there have been others but they weren't as spectacular as this last one) I don't really trust myself anymore so if I start having intense suicidal thoughts I know that I need to seek help. I have suicidal thoughts almost everyday. But there's a difference for me between those thoughts and actually, truly wanting to hurt myself. Once planning is involved it's time for me to go to the hospital.

[Unrigged64072835]

I would go to the ER if I had a plan to carry out. Since I have ideations quite a bit I have to be careful but I'm usually pretty depressed when they get bad.

[MusicLover82]

Go to the hospital. If you feel that it is inevitable and you are just delaying, go to the ER.

[franz kafka]

I don't know if I'm at the stage where I need hospital. So far I've been able to use skills to keep safe, like having my fiancee hide pills. We'll see how the week progresses though. Thanks all for the advice.