[otroo]

I try to live my life one day at a time but it scares me and depresses me to think that my brain is deteriorating day by day. I am a very smart person with a high I.Q. But some would not know this from speaking with me. For the last couple of years I have started to get confused when I am talking to someone in my mind I know exactly what I need to say but unfortunately at times it seams like my mind and my mouth are not communicating with each other. I read up on this and from what I found it is just the way some people with bipolar are. I am worried that in not such a short time my brain will basically be mush. I have been tested for Alzheimer's and Dementia and they said I did not have it.
I am just depressed today and this has me worried about my future. You know one day I am in Law School with a promising career ahead of me to not being able to concentrate in school to sitting in my recliner collection SSDI. I am 43. At least I have a great wife. I am just so sad that I never accomplished the goals I wanted.

Sorry I got sidetracked

[Victoria'smom]

I get depressed about the future too. I had a high IQ but always struggled with emotional problem.

[otroo]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I get depressed about the future too. I had a high IQ but always struggled with emotional problem.

Sucks being smart but looking dumb to those who do not know you. But you know Einstein could not tie his own shoes. I don't know anymore about anything. I just don't want to be that homeless guy that ends up begging for money.

When I'm depressed, thinking about the future depresses me. When happy manic, thinking about the future makes me excited and ready to fight lions if that's what it takes to succeed. Then I have my inbetween stuff. I'd say that stable me is very worried about my future and the future of the world and all its inhabitants. We have reasons to be concerned as there is some crazy stuff out there, but we should also acknowledge that we live in much safer, less violent and saner times than we did just decades before. Progress is being made....a little slow for some of our liking and too fast for the liking of others....but it is happening. But I'm a little bit elevated still and can see the brighter side of things better right now than I usually can.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I simply don't allow myself to think ahead. It literally causes a panic attack. I take everything one step at a time and deal with the now and not tomorrow. And yes I'm smart as well. I had scholarships for my high test scores and writing. But now? Hah! I've stuttered while talking, forgotten simple words etc. I blame the meds but without them I'd be a lot worse.

[Walseth145]

Wow. Sounds like you wrote this for me. Secondary social studies teaching degree...with an emphasis of psychology. Who would have thought I would find out 10 years later I have Bipolar 1. Same thing, I in the top tenth percentile of college professors and feel like an 8th grader now. My wife and kids say I repeat words trying to spit them out. Just keeps getting worse. Set up a lunch/business/interview meeting with a guy Wednesday at 12:30, 30 miles away... almost got there, looked at my phone and its Tuesday. Where's the marbles going?

I get depressed thinking about the future

because I know their is nothing (nothing at all) that I want to do or acheeve

well, their is. get good mental health care that's stable and actually worth it.

but i'm in the UK. like that's going to happen

[Ripose]

My critical thinking skills have been greatly reduced, so has my memory. I spend what little brain power I do have reading/watching about world affairs and I get very depressed that I cannot come to any logical conclusions about this.
It greatly depresses me and I blame it all on meds.

Very much I get Depressed when I think about my bleak future; especially now that my 50th birthday is days away.

The Depression usually accompanies that of thinking about the past. I think about the losses of what I had through circumstance or my own choices.

[TishaBuv]

Someone on here said thinking about the past is depression and thinking about the future is anxiety--brilliant!

[Wander]

Not when manic, or even 'normal' but when mixed or depressed the future seems very bleak.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm very depressed about my future. I don't know what will happen.

[gayleggg]

Yes, the future scares and depresses me. I'm on disability and it doesn't pay enough for the bills. My savings is dwindling and I don't know what I'm going to do when it runs dry.

My brain is turning to mush, too. I'm sorry we have to go through this.

[venusss]

Yeah, I am.

I try to hopeful, but the world does everything to convince me we are over.

[JustJace2u]

I don't even know what to think about my future anymore. Every time I think I have it together something happens and I lose it. I feel like I'm constantly taking 2 steps forward and 5 steps back.

[Faltering]

I have always seen the future as an empty space, a black hole. I just can't imagine anything. I have believed for a few years now that I am meant to die by my own hand.

[xRavenx]

I feel "stuck" a lot and get nervous when others ask me about what I want in the future. If I do not take it one day at a time, I am not able to cope well at all. Sometimes I wish I had certain things that people around me have....those who are not affected with BP when I compare certain aspects of my life to theirs. I know I shouldn't compare though.

I can't afford my own place any longer, and feel I went backwards in different ways since I had to give up being completely independent. I'm not as self-sufficient as I'd like to be and wonder if things will get better or worse. So yes, I do get depressed when I think about the future.

[Ripose]

Originally Posted by venusss

Yeah, I am.

I try to hopeful, but the world does everything to convince me we are over.

-- This --

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I have always seen the future as an empty space, a black hole. I just can't imagine anything. I have believed for a few years now that I am meant to die by my own hand.

I have believed that too many times, even when stable (but it is less intense those times). It frightens me. It is an ominous feeling of dread of the inevitable.

Yet, there is hope for you. Maybe it is finding the right med combo, maybe time with a good T or maybe just time itself. I am sorry you feel this way all the time. I sincerely hope you find some joy and peace soon. Your life has value and despite the challenges, it is worth living. This will pass.

[Row Jimmy]

I get depressed thinking about the present.