[Melmo]

I just read some people with bipolar 2 will only cycle once in a 5 year period. Does anyone relate to this or do you cycle much more often? I ask because I only remember one time about 5 years ago where I had an episode I would say qualifies as hypo mania, and since then I don't really remember experiencing anything like it. I've had mostly depression since with periods of normal in between.

I think I had years between bad episodes for years actually. But my delusions during mania make it BP1 anyways. I've been cycling back and forth for a few years now though....since starting meds which is kinda scary.

[hahayeahtotallylol]

I have bipolar 2, and i cycle twice a year.

At first it was once a year, with the seasons. I do not take meds because i am sort of a control freak and to be honest, because my life is so dull and flat at baseline, i sort of enjoy the surprises of moods. It makes things difficult, but if i had no challenge within myself, i imagine i would be redirecting my energy toward other people. And i would rather not do that, because when i am bored and have nothing to work on within myself, or, Too Comfortable, i tend to do weird things to spice it up.

So, this is my spice.
Though please note, my natural emotional make-up is the only reason i consider not being on medication. Of course, i would be more stable on it. I just, need something. Or else, again, i get bored and am even worse than i would be if distracted by an episode that takes all my energy to maintain.

[xRavenx]

Mine follows a pattern that pdocs have said to be rather typical for BP1. I'll get hypomanic, mania follows, then eventually I crash into a depression. I get those episodes each year, although there's no predicting the severity. During the year, I'll also usually have at least one true mixed episode. It usually lasts for at least a month, although at worst, it's lasted a few months straight. Meds have helped lately reduce the length of the episodes. Hope that continues.

In between the episodes though, it's rare for me to be symptom-free. I'll have bouts of depression and some weeks with mixed features or hypomanic features, but not enough for those times to qualify as true episodes. So yes, some cycling is there....just not ultra rapid cycling.

[Wander]

A bit all over the place. Have had stable years before 2010 but since then cycle often. For example; late last year I was hypo then I went mixed for a free weeks, then stable for. Month, then hypo for a week them mixed. I was then stable for 6 weeks then hot with mixed episode from hell. After a month, with treatment, it passed. Stable for obver a month before depression kicked in for tow months. Then stable for a few weeks and BAM PTSD triggered a mixed episode then euphoric mania. Now I'm switching between the two.

So I'm guessing 5 episodes this year if you only count the ones where I hit stability again. Most have been do bad I have required hospitalisation. I really feel a shift this time though, like my stable times will get longer and my episodes less severe. This episode has been a spiritual experience (I am not religious) but the connection with the universe feels healin.

[Melmo]

And does anyone experience hallucinations? I've brought this up to a few doctors but they didn't seem concerned but now I'm wondering if it's connected. About 6 months ago or so, I started seeing things. It's quick, like from the side of my vision or the corner of my eye I'll see someone beside me or feel like I see a cat or other animal by me or something like that and I look and nothing is there. It would happen probably every day. It was really freaking me out. A few times when walking behind parked cars in my apartment parking lot, I would jump back thinking a car was backing up when it hadn't moved.
Also, I read you can have tactile hallucinations where you feel something moving on your skin. I have been experiencing that aswell, on my head as if a spider is crawling on me.
I have an appt Wednesday to talk to my dr about all this, but just looking for information before then.

[Nate7907]

4 times this year I believe

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Melmo

And does anyone experience hallucinations? I've brought this up to a few doctors but they didn't seem concerned but now I'm wondering if it's connected. About 6 months ago or so, I started seeing things. It's quick, like from the side of my vision or the corner of my eye I'll see someone beside me or feel like I see a cat or other animal by me or something like that and I look and nothing is there. It would happen probably every day. It was really freaking me out. A few times when walking behind parked cars in my apartment parking lot, I would jump back thinking a car was backing up when it hadn't moved.
Also, I read you can have tactile hallucinations where you feel something moving on your skin. I have been experiencing that aswell, on my head as if a spider is crawling on me.
I have an appt Wednesday to talk to my dr about all this, but just looking for information before then.

I've experienced tactile hallucinations during mixed manic episodes where I feel little pin points and drops that poke me in the skin or run down it. I wasn't medicated at the time, and felt that way for a few months straight. I remember feeling it would never go away, but gradually, it did on its own.

During an episode, I get auditory hallucinations. I get mild ones when hypomanic here and there at night or when alone. However, the voices get louder, more distracting, and more frequent when I'm in a full-blown manic/mixed episode. My pdoc said my psychotic symptoms are directly related to mania (whether euphoric or dysphoric).

Visually, when I get paranoid, I'm always looking out the corner of my eye thinking I'm seeing something since I get very hypervigilent. I used to sometimes see shadows. I also would see objects looking distorted during mixed mania. It was scary, but it's been a few years since that last happened, luckily.

[mentallyunstable86]

I feel like I am cycling all the time. I've been told I have rapid cycling BiPolar 1. But I probably cycle at a minimum of 4-5 times a year.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

I've experienced tactile hallucinations during mixed manic episodes where I feel little pin points and drops that poke me in the skin or run down it. I wasn't medicated at the time, and felt that way for a few months straight. I remember feeling it would never go away, but gradually, it did on its own.

During an episode, I get auditory hallucinations. I get mild ones when hypomanic here and there at night or when alone. However, the voices get louder, more distracting, and more frequent when I'm in a full-blown manic/mixed episode. My pdoc said my psychotic symptoms are directly related to mania (whether euphoric or dysphoric).

Visually, when I get paranoid, I'm always looking out the corner of my eye thinking I'm seeing something since I get very hypervigilent. I used to sometimes see shadows. I also would see objects looking distorted during mixed mania. It was scary, but it's been a few years since that last happened, luckily.

It just worries me because I have kids. Not that I think I'd do anything to hurt them, because I know I wouldn't but I feel like someone would think I would. When I was having these hallucinations I was slightly worried that I felt I was going crazy. And I also used to have suicidal ideation (I am not suicidal though) I'd just have random thoughts of throwing myself in front of a bus while walking for example, or over a bridge into a river while walking over the bridge. ive also had intrusive thoughts about hurting others or seeing people naked that has completely disgusted and sickened me.

[1278]

For me, the question is when am I not cycling.

[RomanJames2014]

I actually cycle every couple weeks. I know that's not common but I'm a very rapid cycling bipolar.

[Moose72]

I usually have a manic episode once or twice a year. Depression is more rare- once every few years.

I have episodes every 2-3 months.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Melmo

It just worries me because I have kids. Not that I think I'd do anything to hurt them, because I know I wouldn't but I feel like someone would think I would. When I was having these hallucinations I was slightly worried that I felt I was going crazy. And I also used to have suicidal ideation (I am not suicidal though) I'd just have random thoughts of throwing myself in front of a bus while walking for example, or over a bridge into a river while walking over the bridge. ive also had intrusive thoughts about hurting others or seeing people naked that has completely disgusted and sickened me.

(((HUGS))). Sorry you are struggling with all of this. You have every right to be concerned. Do you think it's time to go inpatient so that you can keep yourself safe and adjust on the right regimen? Sometimes getting more intensive help sooner rather than later can make all the difference....or at least a new provider, if you feel they are not taking your concerns seriously.

[raspberrytorte]

I seem to rapid cycle now. Hopefully that stops for awhile!

[piano97]

For about 2 years I've cycled (big I mean) about every 3-5 months. And lots of smaller ones that for awhile were about every 3-4 weeks. My dx now is Bipolar 1 with rapid cycling. I'm finally starting to have some normalcy and have had a couple good weeks in a row. Hoping it continues.

With RC, I think it's usually temporary for up to a few years. Then things settle down and maybe (hopefully mild) 1-2 cycles a year. And many times, people go years without a major episode. I'm hoping to be one of them soon! Last couple years have been really really difficult.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

(((HUGS))). Sorry you are struggling with all of this. You have every right to be concerned. Do you think it's time to go inpatient so that you can keep yourself safe and adjust on the right regimen? Sometimes getting more intensive help sooner rather than later can make all the difference....or at least a new provider, if you feel they are not taking your concerns seriously.

I'm not a threat to myself or others, it's just the intrusive thoughts that are disturbing but I wouldn't act on them. I do have an appt on Wednesday to discuss it with my dr. I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar but he has mentioned he thinks I have it and I really think he could be right.
I've read that you only need to have one episode of mani or hypo mania to be diagnosed...is that really it? That seems too easy.

[MtnTime2896]

Well, you just described what I've dealt with for six years now. I've only had a select few hypo-mania episodes during this time range. I was actually just diagnosed officially today and I'm incredibly new to all of this. I just thought I was getting better every now and then, but not fully relinquished of my depression. So, you're not alone in this. Oh, and I also get very disturbing intrusive thoughts, too.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

Well, you just described what I've dealt with for six years now. I've only had a select few hypo-mania episodes during this time range. I was actually just diagnosed officially today and I'm incredibly new to all of this. I just thought I was getting better every now and then, but not fully relinquished of my depression. So, you're not alone in this. Oh, and I also get very disturbing intrusive thoughts, too.

I'm happy for you, I'm hoping to be diagnosed so at least I know what's going on, because I know how I have been feeling for the last 5 years is not normal, and it's gotten so bad that I can't even work for more than a few months at a time. I quit my job last month and I'm still not working.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by Melmo

I'm happy for you, I'm hoping to be diagnosed so at least I know what's going on, because I know how I have been feeling for the last 5 years is not normal, and it's gotten so bad that I can't even work for more than a few months at a time. I quit my job last month and I'm still not working.

I quit my job back in August, too. I just now feel like maybe I can work, again. When I'm low, though, I just can't.

[Melmo]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I quit my job back in August, too. I just now feel like maybe I can work, again. When I'm low, though, I just can't.

For me it's not just being low. I have two kids and I'm single. For 2 1/2 months I was getting up at 5am, leaving at 6:30 and walking to my oldest daughters daycare. We would get there at 7. Catch the bus to my youngest daughters daycare. Then I'd bus to work and get there right on time for 8. All day if be stressed out and have anxiety and work my *** off. Always feeling like no matter how much I try it's still not good enough. Constant self doubt.
Then off work for 4:30-5 and go pick up my kids to be home at 6-6:30 then rush through getting us all fed and then bathed and ready for bed. Then after I manage to get them in bed, I'd have to do dishes/laundry and pack lunches and bags for the next day. Getting to bed at 11-12am and getting up at 5am again.
It's been like this for 5 years now...my moods change so much that I can't handle stress and have been put off work on stress leave 3 times.

[jtassar93]

Every 2-3 months. Occasionally like 5-6 months. It's weird.

[12AM]

Originally Posted by mentallyunstable86

I feel like I am cycling all the time. I've been told I have rapid cycling BiPolar 1. But I probably cycle at a minimum of 4-5 times a year.

Originally Posted by RomanJames2014

I actually cycle every couple weeks. I know that's not common but I'm a very rapid cycling bipolar.

Glad to know I am not alone. I have rapid cycling Bipolar 1 too

[Unrigged64072835]

I still cycle about every four months or so. It just doesn't seem as bad now that I'm on Latuda. I'm getting sad around the holidays but that's typical for me.