Anyone had a Crush on another Patient?

So much wise advice. I have seen relationships form IP before and go bad. My ex-husband has been dating a girl he met IP 17 months ago and it seems to be going well...but they are not living together and that was when his behaviour really began to badly effect me. She is a social worker so I'm guessing she is trying to save him. Well good luck, he resisted every effort of mine to get him into treatment until the day it suited him - 7 years later. Good luck to her I say.

But seriously, I do realise the likelihood of me starting a relationship with this man (who may not even have feelings for me) and it going well, are slim. Still, I also feel I won't be able to have a successful relationship with a man who hasn't had any MI as he would not understand, or put up with my weird behaviour when unwell. This guy seems grounded and insightful, but I have only spoken to him 3 times and he is, like me, unwell enough to need to be IP.

Maybe it's the hypomania but I feel hopeful about it and want to give it a go if he is up to it. This is weird as only a week ago I felt no where near ready for a relationship, even while manic (at that time I just wanted sex). Either I have met the right man or the attraction is blinding me. I just don't want to miss out on anymore good in my life out of fear. Too much joy has been stolen from me. I am taking it back.

I wouldn't go past friendship. I'd say it's natural to form relationships IP when we are at our worst breaking point and need that companionship but it's not wise, in my opinion, to begin a romantic relationship while IP.

I agree with what the others have said.
be careful, you are still unstable.
bizi
(((((HUGS)))))

I don't feel unstable anymore. Feel grounded. Well off to see my T and will see what he thinks.

I have never had a crush, on a fellow patient or anyone else, but when I was in a teen residential unit some other people fell in love and even had sex.

Well just had dinner and couldn't find him. Actually forgot to mention it to my T, unintentionally. Really do understand the minefield that would be starting a relationship while IP but maybe, if I can track him down for his number we could just be good friends and see if something more developed once we are both out for a while and continuously stable.

Trying to be rational but my heart says, 'dive in'. Oh well, I bet he doesn't have any feelings for me anyway so it is a pointless thing to wonder over.

I think it would be something to think about since you are both mentally unstable. It could work out great depending on your connection, but it could also leave you heartbroken. Maybe tell him you find him interesting and would like to get to know him better outside of IP and see how he responds. I had a crush on a guy in IP and added him to Facebook after I was discharged but I ultimately decided not to pursue anything.

Do all hospitals in Australia let psych patients access the internet? That's great you can still post here for support.

Yes internet access is allowed in private hospitals. Public ones are more strict though. If I get worse and need to be locked up u will not have my phone or net access. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have only spoken to him 3 times and am too shy to ask for number or even FB. Will have to wait and see if we talk more.

THis is sort of related and sorta not. Hopefully I can make some sense since I'm not entirely sure what my point is

I met my first husband in rehab when I was 19. I wasn't an alcoholic or drug addict but I had severe mental health issues and my parents assumed it was drugs and ask me to go and since I had smoked pot a few times and drank a couple beers I thought they were right and I went. It was like a little resort. Famous people were there but I'm not allowed to say who. About 2 weeks before I was to be released my ex husband showed up. The moment we caught each other's eyes they were sparks and trouble. The people at the facility noticed and had nothing but bad things to say. One of the ladies who ran the place married one of her patients a few years earlier so she hardly had room to complain ya know? The whole program forbids dating until you have at least a year of sobriety under your belt (kinda like telling us we must have a year of stability). Some people will remain forever single in this scenario but it supposedly has clinical evidence to support its theories.

My ex husband and I didn't listen to reason. We stayed in contact and slowly starting a relationship which lasted for several years. We stayed sober which was easy for me and I didn't understand real drug addiction or understand how hard it was for him. We loved each other very much, dated for 2 years and decided to get married and start a family. Once I was pregnant, he got lost in drugs, began verbally abusing me,stealing and hocking my family heirlooms and personal treasures....even taking back all the jewelry he bought me. Then it turned physical and I had to leave him for the safety or myself and my child. I still loved him....but he was so much sicker than I was prepared to handle. He's spent the last 20 years in and out of jails and rehabs and almost makes me want to kill myself when we have a phone conversation because he's such a deluded and sick person.

I do not regret that relationship. I have my son and he makes it all worth while. I grew as a person and it helped me learn the difference between a healthy relationship and one that isn't serving anyone. I'm glad I didn't take the advise to stay away from him. I'm glad I learned my own lessons. Things can go bad no matter where you meet someone. Things can go good no matter where you meet someone. I make my own choices. If someone makes a choice for me, I never feel that choice was mine or that they had a right to decide what is best for me. Along my journey through life I've met lots of people who learn all their lessons through watching someone else. Good for them, it's less messy that way. But I need to learn through the raw mess and dirty corners of real experience. Someday I might regret this but I doubt it. My choices have been my own and that is easier to deal with than a perfect life designed for me by other people.

Good luck with your decision.

If you truly want to even see if something is there and/or worth pursuing, hunt him down NOW and get his number. People are discharged at all times of day and night due to an innumerable number of factors, including their insurance company saying it is time to go and damn what all the doctors say. Once he or you are discharged, if you haven't gotten contact info then it's over and there's no going back.

I'd take it slow, but that's true of any new relationship, really. My husband is mentally ill - a Vietnam veteran with PTSD and OCD, also panic attacks and extreme anxiety. So, yeah, we're both mentally ill. In some ways it's been a hard, rough road...but we've been married for over 30 years, raised two wonderful kids, and we are definitely best friends.

That is my concern. That he will leave before i have contact. Our insurance companies have no say i how long we stay, that is solely up to the doctors which such a relief. Stiill, he could get better day and leave suddenly. I just want things to flow naturally, not stalk him. From what I have gathered si far he is a a down to each, level guy wiht similar interests as me. I bet he doesn't even like me and it is all i my head.

Today I will track him down and get his number, even f i never use it at leastI will have nothing to regret.

I did last year in PHP, but he was married and I knew he was out of my league. This last IP stay I was pretty much with all females and one older gentleman.

Perception including relationships can be misleading when IP. Remember, he is there for a good reason, just as you are. I would wait for when you are out of IP before thinking about finding a boyfriend. No judgement intended here. But if you choose to pursue this relationship, I would give it a couple month wait period befor contacting him, and start as friends.

PS It is not as though this will be your one and only opportunity to meet someone like him

Had dinner with him last night and lunch today but was to shy to ask for a number. He gives me no reason to believe he likes me and I just want to get to know him at this point. He did say he was in until a least Tuesday so hopefully will chat more before then. He is just fascinating to talk to. We agree on many things and respectfully disagree on others. I can see he is suffering due to bad PTSD due to being a paramedic and later being the at incident counsellor for paramedics but there was no one checking on him. What an awful system! Now he is being treated as 'weak' by his employer for breaking down. Sorry, but this is f*****!!!

Had dinner with my guy again. It went really well, we chatted way past ending dinner. About our diagnosis's but mostly about spirituality and physics/meta-physics. I am not falling in love, just loving his company. We get along really easily, it is great to have the company. He will leave early next week so I hope he asks for my number cause Im too shy.

Hey Wander, whatever happened with this situation? Any numbers exchanged?

As to the question, I married a woman I met back when there were state hospitals. In retrospect, I think it was probably like one big bad date for both of us & we divorced after 13 years. We have kids 29 & 25, so that was a good thing.

Thanks for the follow-up. He left before I got the courage to ask for his number and I am guessing he would have asked for mine if he were interested so it all ended in nothing. Got some flirting practice in though. i have been a but rusty since marriage broke up 4 years ago.

At least you got a little fun and excitement so it was a positive experience which is nice

Years ago, I once flirted and such with my husbands professor when I was manic.
I was fascinated with him.
Alas, when I was better, I was so embarrassed afterward.
bizi