Questions: Bipolar Version 2

Most of my manic memories are embarrassing. I suppose the time I showed up at an airport in a foreign country drunk and manic. They put me through very little security because of the state I was in. Did I mention I was covered in sand from having wrestled a friend on the beach?

If you get psychosis, when do you get it? Depressed? Manic? Both? Always?

Mixed but only sometimes. Clozaril seems to have ended it; it's been a while since anything significant happened. Thank God. My worst psychosis was early on and I never told anyone about it. My pdoc of 14 years still has no idea. Sometime I should probably tell her. Since then I've had psychosis but stayed in touch with reality; back then it was more out of control scary.

Do you feel physically different when manic/hypomanic?

I feel energetic and motivated when normally I am low energy. And I would swear my eyes dialate or something because they feel weird. May or may not feel inner calmness. Depends if it's euphoric or not.

What ways do you calm down when you get keyed up?

Going on the computer can calm me down, definitely stops me from fidgeting.

Q. When manic what do you typically spend money on? (I'm shoes and lingerie lol)

First time posting on this forum. Been diagnosed for about a year now but was given an OCD with psychotic features diagnosis at 14.

Is it normal to feel constant fatigue? And I mean constant in the truest sense. I'm only taking Lithium (300mg x2) and I can't seem to shake this crap. I'm not even sure it's from the Lithium. I couldn't even take it this morning because I had my blood drawn and I feel like this has been one of the worst moments.

Welcome Tovy. This thread is mostly a game, answer the last question and answer the next one. I'm only telling you that because if you create a thread you may get a better/more answers to your question. I'll answer for you but others may have better input. Please don't feel like I'm being pushy, I just want you to get good answers to your question and I totally understand how the title of this thread can be misleading.

For me I am constantly tired but am on strong anti-psychotics (APs) and several other meds intended to sedate. Lithium never made me tired. Depression does make people tired and if you are constantly depressed that may be the cause. How long have you been on lithium? That's a pretty low dose although levels matter with lithium, not the dose.

Back to the game, I'll keep the same question: What do you spend money on when manic?

I spend most of my money on eating out and going out and doing things, usually with my son. So I guess it's good that I don't fill up my house with stuff and make memories with my kid? But it runs me into debt.

Do you crave different foods when in episodes? Like in depression crave certain foods different from baseline, and entirely different cravings in hypomania/mania?

Don't crave food when hypo and when depressed I look for comfort food like shepherds pie, mashed potato and gravy when I actually get outa bed to eat.

Q How frequently do you eat out and where do you typically go?

About every two weeks and go for seafood.

How well do you tolerate the summer heat.

Love it! And if by water even better, bring it on! I hate winter it's so long and cold and awful for me, I need warmth and sunshine 85 and humid ahhhhhhh!

Q. Do you ever run away to escape "life"?

No, but I wish I could sometimes

Question: Do you tell people when you are off your meds? I mean professionals like Doctors, Psychologist etc?? If so have you took their advice and went back on them or have you stayed off them?

Yes I have told him when I've come off. Then he tries to talk me back into taking them............sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

Q. Do you ever try to self juggle your meds to add a little hypomania to life?(without doc knowing)

No, I've never tried to juggle meds to induce hypomania because I usually go straight into hard-core, not fun mania.

Question: How do you try to make yourself sleep when you are excited? (I adopted a lovely kitten three weeks ago and we decided to adopt her brother as well, we pick him up tomorrow and I'm all wound up with excitement - kid at Christmas-ish)

Spent decades trying to figure that out. Now I just acknowledge I'm going to have difficulty falling asleep and take an immovane.

Q. Do seasons affect you?

A. seasons do not affect me.

Q. Does sunlight bother you?

Love sunlight, need sunlight. Without it I am lost.

Q. How much time off work would you take in a year related to BP?

I don't work.

so that's that..

what is 1 song you can really relate too?, and why

I'll Come Crashing -- by A Giant Dog
The beat, the speed of the song and the lyrics all reflect how I feel when manic

YOU??

I think i'd probably have to say feel by robbie williams.

he raises some valid points in his song, especially the part about life going to waste..

have you done any exercise today so far?

No I just woke up about an hour ago. All I've done is take a shower and have breakfast.

Have you ever self medicated with drugs and/or alcohol?

I'm addicted to nicotine and it helps. But I've seen what alcohol does and it's not pretty. Honesty is fine, (mostly) verbal abuse isn't. So if I use it, that's quite exceptional.

Do you think that people with borderline are in no way lazy, stubborn, carefree, irresponsible, careless and unreliable, attention-seeking manipulators who only hurt others and think everyone and everything is beneath them, that they owe no-one an explanation and that the rules don't apply to them?

I think that everyone with borderline is different, just like everyone with bipolar.

What is the first sign that you are cycling?

I'm always cycling, if that's what it is.

Nothing is the same as anything else, but everything is like everything else. What's meaningful is how things are different or alike.

It sounds very contrived. I prefer generalising to not saying anything at all. But most people prefer saying nothing to being wrong. That's very not-borderline. It's what you should become if you aren't like that already. Everything goes and everything and everyone is equal. Nothing matters. Just do as you're told.

And if BP is an illness and BPD is a disordered personality, surely a PD defines you more than an illness does? Or aren't those different either!? That would be confusing.

Question:
What is the biggest cliche any clinician has ever told you?

And, because it hasn't been properly answered :
Do you think that people with borderline are in no way lazy, stubborn, carefree, irresponsible, careless and unreliable, attention-seeking manipulators who only hurt others and think everyone and everything is beneath them, that they owe no-one an explanation and that the rules don't apply to them?

I think that this is a thread about bipolar and was trying to be polite about that. You don't get to pick the answer you get and arguing with an answer is for another thread. My answer is a proper answer in that I answered your question in the way that I wanted to. I've had plenty of times I've not gotten the answer I wanted either and I was on topic. That's all I'm saying about it on this thread.

As for the biggest cliche, my therapist and pdoc are both really good at avoiding them. Further back someone probably didn't but I've had these clinicians for 11 and 14 years and don't remember specifics of people before them.

Do you let people see you are having an episode or try to hide it somehow?

It's mostly self-denial but apparently I don't hide what I think is not there very well. I still wouldn't call it episodes. I haven't had those because I don't do anything other than trying hard not to have a real episode.

Do you ever forget about anything or everything to do with BP?