Questions: Bipolar Version 2

I have ECT every now and then and I forget a LOT, including stuff to do with BP.

Would you have ECT if doctor recommended?

No, I would find a new Dr.

How many pdocs have you seen?

1 for 50 minutes and would not go back to him. Have a screening to meet a new one in Aug. (currently treated by family physician)

Q. What's the most money you've ever spent in one day when manic?

£1000

all on amazon.

sadly, most of the useless junk I got on that day I still have in my cupboards somewhere, sitting their unused.

what is 1 decision you made while mannic, then regreted it?

probably tearing up all my folders that contained work I did at school, because now I have nothing to show for my brief time their.

if you could live 1 whole day on the wildside (and I mean doing anything you want), and you knew that when you woke up the next morning you'd have not been affected by it at all (the actions, the decisions you made, all never happened), what would you do?

(so like the guy in groundhog day)

Are you looking for the manic answer? Cause I don't have wild thoughts when even or depressed lol

lol what ever answer you'd like to give me!

Last time I was manic I wanted to go to Vegas to be an escort and try . (It's bizarre writing that cause it's so NOT me!)

AND YOU?

I think for me, it would have to be a night in a real night club



have you ever stolen something?

No

Q. Ever blacked out from drinking? (Not passed out)

nope.
only got drunk once, and I'm never doing that again

spinning down the coridor speaking languages I can't even speak is weird

I now just drink on special ocasions

question: what are your thoughts regarding CBT?

have you tried and if so, what did you think?. have you not, and if so would you?

It's not for me. My therapist has used it at times and I hate it. It probably works, I just hate it. Of course I haven't tried it when feeling well and that might make a difference.

Have you had specific therapies like CBT or DBT mostly or whatever-works therapy?

Basically whatever-works therapy. I mean I tried group therapy and have been in a few programs like that, but it was just PAINFUL. Now I just have one therapist and that is good enough for me.

How has your mania/depression been lately?

Stable enough this week that I don't think I require medication and therefor and contemplating stopping it. Yet again.

Q. Since your Dx how many times have you start/stop medication on your own accord?

Never. It's bad enough with the meds.

When manic/mixed do you have a lot of noise in your head?

It's not noise, just lots of inspiration. Too much to keep track of. Chronic delusions and (especially) hallucinations are noise.

Are you good at remembering names?

Absolutely awful at remembering names. My memory is getting worse. If it ain't written down forget it.

Q. If you could run away anywhere (without any repercussion) where would you go?

I've always had wanderlust. More recently I feel like I need to escape the US. I've heard interesting things about Finland.

Who do you think you'd be if you never had a mental illness(do you think you'd be an entirely different person)?

Wow how to know that answer!?!? I think I would have been more outgoing and adventurous, maybe worked in the arts. Oh if I could do it all again....

Q. Biggest regret?

Writing a suicide note when I was at work while I was VERY suicidal. This lead to my co-workers finding it, my best friend at the time calling me every hour to make sure I was okay and me taking 2 months off of work. Plus my manager found out about it but didn't have the proof as my best friend through it out when she got home. My Manager wanted to sack me there and then and finally sacked me on ill health grounds a year and 2 months later. I hate myself every day for it

Question: What sort of advice have you give to anyone who is feeling depressed at the moment?

Go to a (busy) station or airport and walk around for an hour or so. Maybe travel overground between stations/airports.

Do you live in a city or in the country?

I live in a town with about 30K people.

Do crowds freak you out?

Not really, only if it's somewhere crowded and we're all seated and I'm stuck in the middle. I want to be on an aisle seat for easy escape. But I'm getting better.

Q. How often do you entertain friends ? And does it stress you? (Ya it's s 2 parter )

never.

all my friends are online, and all my friends live in the states- though it's a bad thing because I don't really get to know anyone, it's great I don't have to have people round to annoy me

question: what has been the worst thing someone has ever said to you about your illness?

Not too much what they said but what they did. They blocked me everywhere and made me feel bad about it. Other than that, I never really had any negative responses.

What is a manic day like for you?