When we experience depression, why are we so averse to doing things that will make us feel better? For example, we're too upset to go outside even though we know fresh air will (possibly) make us feel better. It's as if we're afraid of change? Or maybe it's pure laziness? Or maybe we have too much self doubt (e.g., "It's not going to make me feel any better.") ? I don't know. Maybe the answer depends on the person.

I can't even answer my own question, but I wonder about you guys?

[bizi]

Are you experiencing depression blue?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[JustJace2u]

I don't have an answer, I wish I did. You sort of know what I've been feeling since we've been chatting outside this forum. There are days I wish I had more strength and stamina to get outside, even though this time of year tends to be cold and dreary. For right now I'm perfectly content sitting inside, with the shades down watch Gilmore Girls. I hope that someday I'll be able to experience the things that I used to, but I fear that at the same time it may be too late for me

[Faltering]

We feel like we don't deserve it maybe, and don't have the energy and willpower to make a positive change. It's not laziness. I like the perspective that people will do good things for themselves if they are able. If they don't, then they must be struggling with something.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

When we experience depression, why are we so averse to doing things that will make us feel better?

i believe that is the million dollar question ... which comes first .... do we become depressed by not doing those things we enjoy .... or do those things no longer fill our need and even while doing them we become depressed ....

we each have needs ... I believe when they are not met for whatever reason we become blue ... and at it's exstream depressed ... the answer ... logic would save something totally different to quote Monty Python ... but fear of change can prevent that ... but doing what we are comfortable with just may not be working anymore ... a real vicious cycle ... how to step off this merry go round ... that as I see it is the question ... the answer ? ...

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

When we experience depression, why are we so averse to doing things that will make us feel better? For example, we're too upset to go outside even though we know fresh air will (possibly) make us feel better. It's as if we're afraid of change? Or maybe it's pure laziness? Or maybe we have too much self doubt (e.g., "It's not going to make me feel any better.") ? I don't know. Maybe the answer depends on the person.

I can't even answer my own question, but I wonder about you guys?

I wish I had an answer for you. I am stuck in the same rut. My pdoc thinks I should go volunteer somewhere, but it's the doing of things that gets in my way. I am scared to change things. Staying home is easy. Going outside is hard.

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

When we experience depression, why are we so averse to doing things that will make us feel better?

Sometimes I do not want to risk feeling even worse if something does not work or does not work this time.

[MtnTime2896]

When I'm like that, I'm averse to help because I don't feel I deserve it, on top of feeling as though it wouldn't help anyway.
I do this in depression, mixed and high states. It also might have to do with the fact that I'm accustomed to feeling as such (since I'm way more depressed out of year than happy) and I don't see the point in fighting it all anymore. I gave up trying to change it a long time ago, so now I just roll over.
I'm trying to reverse that train of thought with my therapist, lately.

Are you asking because you're not doing so good?

When I'm truly depressed fresh air does not make a noticeable difference nor does anything else. I don't avoid things which could make me feel better when depressed...I just find that the typical "this will make you feel better stuff" doesn't work for me. People say a walk in nature makes them feel better. When I'm depressed every step hurts....nature is just dirty and icky and makes me feel slimy. I'm exposed out in nature in a way that feels terrible.

My problem when depressed is that nothing helps, not that I avoid what will.

[Wild Coyote]

In my case, after 30 years of severe physical pain, I feel some hopelessness as far as things being truly helpful, or helpful enough. (I have additional PTSD from prolonged untreatable/intractable severe pain). I do work daily to override this; yet, it does take work.

At the same time, I do sometimes procrastinate when doing so might make things even more difficult. Again, I am usually feeling some degree of hopelessness when I do this.

A sense of underlying hopelessness drives my inability to follow through on non-rewarding tasks.


WC

[xRavenx]

With the chemical changes in the brain, this can cause lethargy, lack of motivation, etc. so some of it is just a natural physiological response. Also, having depression can make someone start to neglect themselves and their own needs. I know when I feel that way, I begin to feel "what's the use?" and "nothing can help me feel better." Then, that leads to giving up on even trying to do activities that are typically enjoyable when not depressed. I begin not to care too much about myself, so I stop taking care of my health. Also, I think inward pressure to "feel better" can be so overwhelming that it can lead to a sense of powerlessness, that nothing is worth trying anymore.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Faltering

We feel like we don't deserve it maybe, and don't have the energy and willpower to make a positive change. It's not laziness. I like the perspective that people will do good things for themselves if they are able. If they don't, then they must be struggling with something.

This is where I'm at right now. I'm down and feel sick from it. Don't want to eat or shower though I really need to. Our depression leaves us feeling unworthy of even a routine shower.

[JustJace2u]

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

This is where I'm at right now. I'm down and feel sick from it. Don't want to eat or shower though I really need to. Our depression leaves us feeling unworthy of even a routine shower.

I'm feeling almost the same way, except that I'm binging and purging instead of not eating. I slept most of the day and am back in bed again after forcing myself to get up, do at least a load of laundry and take a shower. I've been home all day with the shades closed because I just don't want to deal with the outside.

[Rabbity9]

Depression perpetuates itself through it's worst symptoms. Avolition (severe lack of motivation) and anhedonia (total lack of interest in or ability to feel pleasure) are both major symptoms of depression. Combined, they can be almost paralyzing.

When I'm full-on depressed, it can take me hours to work up the motivation to go for a walk or run, if I ever get to it at all. I know that getting my heart rate up, going outside, etc. are all scientifically proven to help me feel better, but it's just. so. hard. It can also be really disheartening to try to exercise when my body doesn't even want to move, so every step is an ordeal and I feel so slow and useless and tired. Then I might even feel worse.

I find exercise to be much, much more effective as a preventative measure. If I start feeling like I'm going into a slump, I might allow myself a day or two to be lazy, because sometimes it's just a sign that I'm getting a cold or something and I really do need rest, but if it continues, then I know I need to get off my butt and go work out. If I recognize it early on and fight it with physical activity, I can sometimes keep the depression at bay and avoid getting to the point where nothing seems to help.

This is, of course, only useful when I notice depression creeping up. Sometimes it hits a lot more suddenly, and then it's a lot harder to avoid falling into the depths.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by JustJace2u

I'm feeling almost the same way, except that I'm binging and purging instead of not eating. I slept most of the day and am back in bed again after forcing myself to get up, do at least a load of laundry and take a shower. I've been home all day with the shades closed because I just don't want to deal with the outside.

Hey I'm bulimic too! But my pdoc put me in vyvanse to curb my binging so I've been good this week. Two weeks ago I got $200 on my food card and blew it all on binge food within a week!

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

...Our depression leaves us feeling unworthy of even a routine shower.

So true. Another thing I experience is great discomfort over sleeping in the bed. My mind desperately wants me to flop onto the floor. A bed is too high (it's normal height). It's like I don't belong there -- like going to a fancy event. But I really can't sleep on the floor anymore. Too old. Physical payback would be a *****. Besides, it kicks up phobias. (I hate when psychological issues are at odds with one another! Ugh!) Soooooo, hard to motivate when ya don't even feel worthy of the bed(!)

Extreme skepticism, lack of energy, lack of worth, the pointlessness of "everything". Another big one is overwhelm. Seeing something I need to pick up off the floor is overwhelming. Yes, folks, it's true... a sock can bring me to tears. Good grief. (Which is kind of ironic, because I tend to just drop things wherever they fall out of my hand or give 'em a half-azzed toss into the corner.)

And yes, Rabbity9! The whole physical ordeal of moving. It's like wading through molasses.

[BipolaRNurse]

I don't go outside in the winter months unless it's absolutely necessary. Winter in western OR is dark, cold, and wet, and I'm like a cat that hates unscheduled showers (and my hair frizzes something awful). However, my pdoc suggested I buy a full-spectrum light box, and it seems to be helping, even though I had a few tough days after getting back from Central America.

Besides, there is something wonderful about being inside on a dreary day, cuddling up with several little dogs and being all cozy and warm.

[Nate7907]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

When we experience depression, why are we so averse to doing things that will make us feel better? For example, we're too upset to go outside even though we know fresh air will (possibly) make us feel better. It's as if we're afraid of change? Or maybe it's pure laziness? Or maybe we have too much self doubt (e.g., "It's not going to make me feel any better.") ? I don't know. Maybe the answer depends on the person.

I can't even answer my own question, but I wonder about you guys?

I personally believe that our depressive lack of energy leads to lack of motivation. Our low motivational then leads us to appear lazy. In reality though we are just suffering internally for long periods of time.

[Wander]

When I am deeply depressed i struggle to get of the couch to even go to the bathroom ( I know, tmi). The bathroom seems miles away to me and finding the energy to move in a herculean effort. Of course I am eventually motivated enough to go but still it is a major mission.

As for positive things like excercising, eating well, cleaning and socialising I do try to keep them up but feel no benefit from them. Perhaps it is some kind of built up effect where the more we do the positive the sooner we will get out of depression. Still, i can go for the most 'amazing' snooker and feel dead inside which only ends up making me feel worse as I knew I should have enjoyed it. So, yes I can be adverse to things that could make me feel better but at the same time feel no better having done them. But I guess it is a good thing to get off the couch for a time - that has to be good for me.

[Unrigged64072835]

I think having the lack of "feel-good" neurotransmitters probably zaps us of any motivation or pleasure. I don't think of it as laziness or some such thing. It's a chemical reaction, not a sign of weakness. We're so used to being in a society that is go, go, go and produce something of value.