[evildouble102]

I have schizoaffective disorder: bipolar type. I've been having a rough time lately. Rapid cycling is ridiculous. It seems like nothing is helping right now. I'm not able to talk to my pdoc cause he is on vaca. Talked to a diff one I used to have yesterday and he said thanks for coming in so I get paid and you'll have to wait to see ur pdoc... not literally but that's how things came off u know? Just a big waste of time. Last night I was on here and tried calling a peer to peer hotline, my family etc. I thnk I was rapid cycling cried for 2.5 hours straight, wanted very much to hurt myself as a release, thru cutting or taking more pills or what have you. I've been dissociating which I've been told there's only therapy to treat that.... sometimes I just don't know what to do. I can be fine outwardly but inside I'm a total nutcase; hysterical, crying, hyperventialating, agitated as hell; and completely pissed off. I almost threw the phone through the window last night. I talked to the oncall doc for my pcp and she said I sounded calmer and asked me if I'd be ok for the night; finally I said yes and like got off the phone and I guess passed out right off. I woke up a couple hours later; I assume because I couldn't breathe because I have sleep apnea. Anyone have any advice? I was thinking about asking my pdoc about a diff mood stabilizer than lithium; my levels have either been too high or too low and not really in the therapeutic range although I don't know what they are exactly. I think I would like to try topamax if possible because he's suggested it before but my insurance wouldn't approve it and it's kinda expensive I guess.... but any comments, or suggestions are always welcome. Thanks, Danielle

[MyBestKids2]

Hi evildouble102

Wow, you sure did a great job of writiing down how you feel. I wonder why they can't adjust the Lithium levels according to your blood work. Thats what my Pdoc does. I hate rapid cycling....its like all manic for a few hours and then crashing really hard. Just wanted to let you know I am here for ya, if ya want, you can PM me.

Take gentle care and stay safe,
Dee

[mydarlin]

I like to topamax but it is expensive...I did the math on it from what I paid and it is like 9 bucks a pill...My doc has me on 2 a day...It really adds up...I recon that is why I haven't been taking them...costs too much... I probably need to get back on them so that things will get back to normal for me. If that is what you want to call it.

Hang in there...you will be okay...you are not alone in this crazy thing we call life...there are others experiencing the same feelings you have right now....

[dreamrunner]

Im on litium too evildouble....I dont understand why your levels are always out.My pdoc says levels(or at least mine) should be around .75....presently my last level was .50...so I was bumped up.
I started on regular lithium carbonate now Im on Duralith which is MUCH better.Taken only once a day.
Ask your pdoc if thats an option.....I really like it compared to other meds Ive been on.
In the meantime stay safe....