Suicide ideation as a coping mechanism?

Does anyone else do this?

Immediately after becoming intensely frustrated, embarrassed or upset, my emotional response goes something like this: "God, why did I do/say that? What is the matter with me?" followed by, "I'll just kill myself. I'm going to kill myself." I never try to, but it's almost a relief to just think it or say it out loud. Like taking a deep breath of fresh air. I don't do it all the time, just following an intense high (where I've said or done something impulsive) and preceding a depression. Once I'm depressed, I think about death and not necessarily suicide.

If you used to do this, but don't anymore, what helped you?

Please don't quote, in case I decide to remove this later.

I do this sometimes, and I also write notes

I usually write the notes, (like know what i'm going to say), then later when i'm feeling better I tear them up.

huge release. it really is

but back to the point in hand (sorry i'm rambling)

I actually have a habbit of thoughts turning to actions (I have tried multiple times in the past, and I suppose it's just stuck)

just try and distract myself with music or what ever

coming on here is a great help too

I do this too. It's definitely a coping mechanism but for me, when I start thinking about it, it's very difficult for me to get out of that headspace.

If I try a different coping mechanism, like a hot shower, and it doesn't work...no big deal . I wasted fifteen minutes of my life.

But I can spend hours, days, in SI. So I am trying to move towards other coping mechanisms instead.

I experience symptoms like these from time to time, but never seriously since I stabilized on the medications. As a coping mechanism, I think some people threaten suicide as a means of gaining attention and ensuring that people care about them. I don't know if it's psychosis or mania that causes thoughts like these, but the drugs have definitely cut down the intensity and the frequency of this kind of thinking.

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that does this. It's always a little distressing afterwards when I look back and think about what my thoughts were like, in that moment. Hopefully I will find other coping mechanisms, soon.

I always think of it as a back up plan. 'well if this doesn't work, I'll just kill myself and it'll be fine.'

I had "wish I were dead" thoughts since I was 3-4 y ears old. As an adult, I did suicidal back-up thoughts as a potential "way out." One thing that originally gave me to realize I would never, never commit suicide was Bishop James Pike's book "The Other Side." I've also come to realize the terrible pain anyone's suicide has on others they know. Also it's my understanding that once a person has done a suicide, the following generation/s have more chance of doing that later on. My meds have completely removed these suicidal thought, for over 15 years. My little sister, 6 years younger than me, has told me (in our old age) "I grew up hearing you say you wished you'd never been born." I still feel like I would not want to live most of my earlier life over again. I don't think about it much, but I truly feel that way. The closest I ever came to an attempt at suicide, was when my addicted ex-husband and I were fighting. I went into the bathroom to see if I could my wrists but I could not harm myself. (I tried to give myself prescribed allergy shots when I was in my teens, and could not do that, either. Had to go to the college infirmary for a nurse to do them.)

I have always considered it as a way to provide for my family ... that insurance pay off seemed like an ace in the hole ... but that was not on my mind when I attempted ... i just did not want to go another day .... when my stress gets unbearable I day dream of it a lot ... I plan and I plan .... over and over ... I seem to draw comfort from having a plan ... knowing the unbearable tomorrow can be avoided seems to relax me ... sometimes just knowing it is possible gets me through another day ...

how do I cope ... I wrote down every plan I have ever had and gave them to my T ... knowing there is no pay off stops me from acting ... but not from dreaming ...

the only reason I get up every am is to pay off the mortage ... that is the only reason I am still here ... kinda sad when you see it wrote out this way ...

that's why my korean girls have meant so much to me ... something .. anything to look foward too ...

Probably the only thing I've planned in my life. I've been there. And know exactly what I'll do. Only I don't know when.

When I'm really triggered, I call the after hours line at my pdoc's office. If I'm not as triggered, I'll blog on my bipolar blog. I'm not sure if I've ever blogged when Sui. I did blog some of my dr's notes when in a bad space, though.

I use it. Not necessarily for the things you listed, at least not exactly. I have used it, unfortunately a lot, after flashbacks and nightmares. After intense triggers or being confronted with past trauma.