My bipolar daughter got a bad job reference

My 28 YO daughter has bipolar and is a special ed teacher. She has taught behavioral special ed for 4 1/2 years. This year she had a child who repeatedly spit, bit, hit, and constantly called her a "*****". She asked and asked to have something done with this child but to no avail.
She had a minor meltdown (cried at school), called a sub, and came home. She saw a psychiatrist and wound up going out on an FMLA leave. She has now almost run out of leave. She says she just can't go back to finish the year since the situation there has not changed.
She is applying in other districts for a lower stress job. She told she was "hired" by a principal in this other district. Two days later, the offer was withdrawn. We heard through the grapevine my daughter's immediate special ed supervisor and her school principal were giving her bad references. She has to have a "supervisor" reference in her three references.
Any ideas on where to go from here?
I know lots of you have dealt with job problems. Thanks.

Jeez- that sucks about the prospective job that she didn't get bc of a bad reference.

Is there someone else who can write her a letter of rec? Maybe a mentor or another teacher or behaviorist/school psychologist or Something? Idk.
Public School hirings can be tricky- u don't really have the job until the board of ed votes to approve it. And in my experience if a district wants to get rid of you they will make your life miserable until you get fed up and leave. I'm sorry she's dealing with that.

wish i had more ideas. I know I couldn't work with students who had that much behavior issues, esp without any administrative support. Good luck.

is there any resourse at her orginial school to get help with this child ... a monitor or aide ... so she could return there ...

If they gave a bad reference as a result of the breakdown she had, it may be illegal. It's discrimination against her for a medical problem and is not fair at all based on what you explain went down. I'm so sorry for you and your daughter.

It would be an uphill battle to win an ADA lawsuit, but it should be considered. This was outright discrimination and the school officials should be called out on it. I wish your daughter luck in pursuing another job despite the bad reference. She may need a little time to recover from this disappointment but it may be a blessing in disguise.

I know this is difficult but, she should get copies (if she doesn't have them) of all her evaluations over the 4+years and review them. If they are good, she can contact the school for a sit down, or, perhaps better, the teacher's union to see if a rep. can help her out.
Did she let the school know she is looking for another job? If she didn't, that could be a problem, and it may re fixable.
Sometimes, you just have to find other references, or be prepared to explain your position, don't ever sign away your right to see references provided by any employer.
(I have seen this request on applications) Best of luck.
There are schools with good support and resources for teachers dealing with difficult situations. Some, not so much.

She talked to her union rep today which was most helpful. They got in touch with the principal. It looks like my daughter may go back to finish out the year in a different position (which is great as she will be paid). They are also offering her a contract (for next year) at a different school in the district. (We think.) She'll still teach special ed but not behavioral so it won't be so abusive.

She's still upset she can't go to the new district because someone gave her a bad reference. I told her to go to her new school, make good contacts there and try again next year to move districts if she wants. Maybe she will like the new school and stay there. Her current district has 32 schools, so she doesn't have to worry about running into that supervisor again.

Her union rep said if there are problems, the rep will escalate the situation promptly. So we are hopeful she will have a job for next year.

I am a former teacher. Lots of teachers don't join the union because of the cost, but when you need them, they are your best advocate. My daughter learned the importance of being in the union.

Thanks for all of the help. I agree that the ADA would be lengthy, but it's not a bad way to go if you can't get any relief.

-----response. Does her district have a teachers union? Union reps are fabulous. If not at least have a consultation w an employment attorney. They really should give her an assistant. She could also ask for a mentor teacher. SHe has to be assertive on this to beat this.

Unions are great and people who have them as an option are truly lucky. Had I had one at my last job, well......best for me to not even consider the what-if's. People are so utterly heartless. You have to have a union or lawyers to get any fair treatment in this world. People don't just do the right thing, you have to force them. It's sickening. I'm disgusted that this happened to your daughter. As if she doesn't have enough to battle. (((More hugs for you both)))

I wish people who criticize the benefits people in Unions have (had more in the past)---would realize the answer is to organize themselves and work towards the same, not try to destroy what Unions have accomplished for workers. Your boss is NOT going to be the one to do right by the majority of workers, but they can do JUST FINE while providing decent benefits.
We wonder why wages haven't risen in a couple of decades...and benefits are down....
....and the idea that people can NOT join a union but still benefit from the negotiations is ridiculous---let them negotiate on their own and see how far they get and how long it lasts...they weaken the union and then complain and blame those who are hamstrung by their failure to contribute. ......when I worked in unionized jobs, I didn't always get the highest pay but I got good benefits...and, had I known than what I know now, I would likely have stayed...and today be retired with a pension like my old friends....I'd have just made it before things are torn apart...oh well. so it goes.

I'm so glad things have been worked out for the most part. Good luck and best wishes to your daughter. The bad reference they gave her was just so wrong.

Well, things have updated a bit.
The district has now decided this is an ADA problem. They have asked for extensive paperwork from both my daughter and her psychiatrist. Then they are having a meeting with the head of HR to see if they can place her in a less stressful job situation for the rest of this year and/or next year. My daughter is being accompanied to this meeting by her building union rep and the union advocate.

Another problem we have is that while my daughter was on leave her supervisor called her. She said "Would you please send us a brief e-mail saying you will not be back to your current classroom next year so we can begin advertising for the position? If you do, I'll give you a good reference." My daughter complied, thinking she'd have good references and could easily get another job. Now some people are interpreting this e-mail as my daughter resigning from the DISTRICT, when she only meant to resign from that particular job position and classroom. So we have that going on also.

If she is not offered a position for next year, we are contacting the union attorney and a private attorney. IMO, she was basically "blackmailed" to resign when they promised her a good reference.

We have also had her change all of her references and am hoping she can get a position in a new district.

If anyone is still reading this thread, there is another update. My daughter got a call out of the blue today asking her to come down to the district office and sign her contract for next year. They said they had mailed one to her but they didn't get it back. (We never got a contract in the mail.)

They are going to hold the ADA meeting to find out best where to place her. When my daughter told the lady the union rep would be attending the lady from HR said "you're not in trouble...that's not necessary." Well, I think it is necessary.

Suddenly when the phrase "ADA" started flying around, people quickly got cooperative. It's amazing.

I am so glad your daughter has you and her union rep to help on this situation. I have a great deal of hostility towards HR departments as they should be there to protect people but they are only there to protect the company. When I filed a complaint years ago for working in a hostile work environment, the head of HR called a meeting and said "knock it off everyone, but the next person who has a complaint can find another job or get fired!" That was illegal as all heck but I didn't know it at the time. When I later became too sick to work, they called to tell me they were firing me and I said "you can't fire me because I'm sick, if it's not illegal, it sure is unethical after my 10 years of good service and excellent reviews". They changed their tune and wrote something different than "fired" but I feel it would have been a much different story had I known my rights better and had a union. I worked in the office and the warehouse workers were all union and the ladies in the office always put them down, my manager was a nasty lady and she really ripped into "unions". I used to stand up for them as I know my history a bit better and all that unions have done for the average worker. Keep up the good fight!!!! Stand strong and help your daughter through this cause the law in on your side I think...or it should be. Keep us posted, I will be thinking of you both.

So glad to see a positive outcome.

The bottom line on this is that someone should have done something about that kid who was biting, kicking, hitting, destroying stuff, and calling my daughter a b**** every day. No teacher should have to put up with that day after day. That is an abusive work situation. I don't think my daughter's bipolar would have "flared up" if this hadn't been going on.
We all could have been spared a lot of heartache if someone in special ed had done something with this kid. Not to mention, when my daughter was out on FMLA leave, it was unpaid.
Frustrating, but at least it is moving toward a decent resolution (fingers crossed).

I totally agree. That kid should have long since come to the attention of the powers that be. I hope something will be done about him before he gets worse.

Still more news:
The big "meeting" is this Wednesday at 3pm. At that point, HR will decide what to do with her for the rest of this year and next year. She DOES have a contract so she will have a job.
She is taking her union rep from her building. My daughter says this woman is outspoken and also her classroom was located by my daughter's old one. My daughter says this woman saw a lot of what went on with this wild kid. Also attending will be a union advocate person and an additional person from HR.
I'm just nervous and have some anxiety about the whole thing. I just want my daughter to get back to work in a safe, healthy environment. I think this whole thing is irritating my BP badly. I need to learn to separate more from kid problems.
Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive.

It sounds like your daughter is in good hands. I wouldn't worry too much about the meeting, as it is just the next step in the process of getting her to the right place. You're a good advocate for her, but you can't do everything.

What country/region are you in? When I was a manager it was illegal for me to give a bad reference on a former employee - even if I had fired them. I was not even permitted to give positive feedback. Legally, the only thing an employer can do is confirm the individual was in fact employed during a stated period of time. As someone in a position to do the hiring I could rely only upon the references provided outside of job contacts.