not sure what to do

i am really angry today i want to yell at everyone and kick and throw things. i want to stop taking all my meds and scream at my doctors and runaway so they can never find me. i am so so angry and i feel like my head will explode and i have so much to do but i cant focus and i dont know what to do i dont know if i should try my mental health worker but if i told her all that she would not be happy with me.

Sorry you're not feeling so great.

I do think you should contact a mental health professional about your feelings. Those feelings you're describing are not "normal" and no one should have to feel that way.

Please let us know if/when you decide you seek help

I'm feeling exactly the same way, but mine is justified and not pathological. How much abuse is a person expected to take? I want to throw darts at my doctors heads and private parts. I'll settle for throwing them at pictures of their dumb faces. If your doctor is a qualified professional, they won't get mad at you for feeling this way. If you were a doctor and your patient was feeling as you do now, how would you respond to the patient? Treat yourself with kindness and know you DESERVE help and compassion at this time and always. (((Hugs)))

I am nervous that if I tell my worker about how i am feeling they will want to see me i dont want to see them because i will yell at them. i feel like i want to be free i dont even know what that would mean i just feel the need to be free.

I know what it's like to not want to be seen because all you can do is yell and scream at people you know don't deserve it. If you write a letter with what you want to say, you can refrain from yelling as reading it will help buffer all those feelings. Just a suggestion (((hugs)))

i could try a letter i just have to figure out how to say it so my worker wont be concerned i have so much to do and my hands wont stop shaking from the lithium and ahhhhhh my head!

The letter idea is great but make sure you are completely honest with them or they cannot help you. You have suffered to long. There must be something your mental health worker and psychiatrist can do for you. Something is not right with your meds and some tweaking may lesson the symptoms. Are you safe?

I think i am safe but i feel really unsettled it is weird i am annoyed cause i thought i was doing really well but if i think about it i could have just been hypomanic for 2 weeks and the depressed again and now i dont know i hope i get more sleep tonight if i dont sleep again then i will be worried. i am not sure what is happening but i feel very strange.

You are definitely in a very strong episode of some sort. It must be awful. Remember your treatment team are there to help you and have heard everything before so they won't be upset by anything you have to say. What is important is getting the best treatment available to you, in your circumstances. Being psychotic and manic really throw our brains out and can some time to stabilise afterwards. Keep fighting Flutterby. You can make it through and hopefully find some peace.

I just wish i knew what was going on. maybe i am mixed again i feel all agitated but not good or maybe it is just lack of sleep i really dont have a clue.

I don't know what episode you are in but it sounds like you need to see you pdoc soon. Weren't you seeing them today?

i saw them 2 days ago before i started feeling like this :/ typical trust me to have things go worse after seeing pdoc i want to scream i am also worried because the lithium is making me feel sick and i dont know if i can tolerate it and what happens if i cant and then i dont know i am freaking out

When do you see them again?

in a few weeks. i am still really angry today and now the pharmacy screwed up and gave me all my meds which is proving more tempting than i thought

Can someone hold them for you?

nope i just have to try and ignore the urge.

Get a week pill box. put your meds in it and then put the rest up high. So there's extra steps in getting them.

Can you get in touch with your docs somehow and set up an earlier meeting? Having urges like that is concerning.

i will try and contact my mental health worker i guess. i am trying to just relax at the moment but that is proving difficult.

Is the lithium making you physically ill? What kind of symptoms are you having from the lithium?

yes it is making me physically ill it wasnt when i first started it but now it is i am nausea and digestive issues also dizziness and lethargy and a few other things if it keeps going i dont think i will be able to keep taking it.

If it's making you physically ill with nausea and digestive issues, dizziness and such, your level needs to be checked. It could be too high. That can be dangerous. Don't just stop taking it but my suggestion is that you get to an ER or clinic and have it checked ASAP. Make sure you are drinking enough water.

Checked yesterday but no results yet I am drinking heaps of water