[trainspotter]

How do you deal with guilt? I've been drunk and said horrible things to my wife and daughter.

I know all of the AA stuff, so I'm not looking for answers along those lines. How do other BP's deal with self-loathing resulting from this type of thing?

Bipolar II, ADD, Asperger's.

250 mg lamotragine BID, 600 mg Gabapentin 300 mg TID, 600 mg quetiapine

[Skeezyks]

Hello trainspotter: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

I have a lot of guilt & self-loathing I carry around. What I strive to do is to simply accept it. There is a Buddhist practice called compassionate abiding that addresses these sorts of difficult emotions. One does not have to be a Buddhist to benefit from it though. Here's a link to a mental-health-oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.

[19J82]

I've done some horrendous things when in a manic state that I'm massively ashamed of and they have destroyed my, and my wife's life. My wife has been hugely understanding and supportive, even though we're getting a divorce. Despite that, I still feel guilt and I suspect I always will.
That said, I am trying to accept that if I were my normal self, none of it would have happened and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I think the fact you have posted that you feel guilt shows that you're not a bad person and that you regret what has happened. Have you told your wife and daughter how you feel, and do they fully understand how Bipolar affects you?

[Wild Coyote]

I've found it helps to sincerely apologize and to also talk about the regret/guilt.
Honestly open up in hopes of working on healing all wounds.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

I talked about my guilt in therapy. I learned that just because I do bad things it doesn't make me a bad person. I feel remorse for the bad things and it teaches me not to do it again.

[lilypup]

I feel a lot of guilt as many of the things I've done I have never told anyone about. Some of them are embarrassing and some are just downright stupid. Frankly, I'm not sure anyone would believe half of it.

[IntentOnHealing]

This is really hard. I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I am too. I agree with the idea that you need to compassionate toward yourself 100%. And I want you to know you're not alone. But I also wonder if now is the time to ask this question. I mean, if you are depressed right now, maybe you should concentrate on other questions if possible. Like, how can I get through this day. I only say this because if you are severely depressed, your guilt may be unrealistically magnified. Guilt is a symptom of depression. I put off dealing with guilt until I am well enough. I'm not saying I don't try to make amends. I do. I'm saying that, for me at least, part of being compassionate is waiting until I am in a healthy enough frame of mind to look at the issues of guilt and culpability more realistically.

Just a thought.

[bioChE]

I agree that you need to be gentle with yourself. I have done a lot of things due to BP and alcohol/drug abuse of which I am not proud and can feel a lot of guilt over. I don't have a solution as to how not to feel the guilt, but can assure you that doing things to make amends is one of the best things you can do. Try to be the best husband and father that you can, and hopefully the good will outweigh the bad in the end.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Oh man I've done some horrible things out of drunkenness or dysphoria. I honestly don't have any friends left at this point. I've been bad lately because I'm drinking again to the point of blackout. And then the next morning I'm told all the terrible stuff I said and did. I feel like a monster. Like you I carry a massive amount of guilt. I just to tell myself that what's done is done and keep living and moving forward. If an apology is warranted then do so and if they don't accept it then the problem is theirs. And I'm sure we're not the first people here who carries tons of guilt. It will fade with time.