[Moon Lotus]

Hey Everyone,
I have a friend who I chat with quite regularly online and through text. He lives in another state. I think he has some depression issues for which I urged him to seek some medical help. He didn’t do that. We try to be support for each other. He messages me last night, and he sounded like he was in crisis. He told me that he was going to take his life, and I tried to talk to him, but he kept saying that everyone would be better off without him, and he was going to post his suicide on Facebook live or send a link of him doing the deed. After some questioning, he still wouldn’t tell me what was going on. Then he sent me this message that said, “thank you and goodbye”. I have tried to message him, text, and even call him. I’ve gotten no answer. I didn’t take my meds last night and left my phone on just in case he called or sent a text. I would be awake enough to answer him and talk if he want to. He is my friend, and I’m concerned. I didn’t hear anything, and I didn’t sleep too much either last night. What sleep I did get was interrupted by a dream of him actually taking his life and the police searching for me. I haven’t taken my meds for two nights, last night and Thursday night (I had to work a function early Friday morning and was afraid I’d oversleep). I’ve tried texting and calling him when I woke up this morning, but I get no response or the voicemail greeting. I thought I was making a little progress and things were okay, but it seems like I’ve slipped down the hill again. I feel like I’m edging off a cliff. I have totally screwed up. I'm nervous. I can’t think straight. I have hives, and I don’t know what to do. Am I stupid? My head hurts.

[jacky8807]

can you call the police to do a wellness check on him? hope he is ok! sorry you are going through this!!!!!

[Moon Lotus]

I don't have an address or I would have called the police last night. I feel like a failure.

[jacky8807]

do not feel like a failure. what else could you have done? everything still may be ok at this point and I do hope it is. I'm so sorry this must be so stressful!

[Wild Coyote]

This is a tough situation and I'm sorry you find yourself in the midst of this.

Since your friend is not responding to your attempts to get in touch, it's hard to know what's going on.

You cannot blame yourself, it's too easy to do so.
You need to look out for your welfare; taking your meds, getting enough sleep, etc.

I do understand, as I've had people do similar to me. Our hands are often tied and there is nothing we can do to change their path/predicament/illness.

You are a good friend.

Please try to take care of yourself through this tough time.


WC

[bioChE]

You could call the police and give them his phone number. They might be able to find him.

[Moon Lotus]

Hey,
After being nervous and scared and worried all day, my friend sent me a text about 30 minutes ago letting me know he was okay. I’m a mixture of relieved, angry, and sad. As today wore on, what little resolve I had dissolved, and I became a barrel of tears. I’m glad that he’s okay, but I feel that I’ve been manipulated. I asked him again to seek out some professional help. I know I’m not doing too well right now, and my mind gravitated toward all of those horrible thoughts. Did I just blow things out of proportion and make a mountain out of a molehill or am I really unwell? Maybe I am just really stupid. Thank you all for all of the hugs and support. They are much appreciated!

[jacky8807]

ah no. I think what he did was kinda messed up.
hope you are ok

[Leia78]

Your friend really did manipulate you. You did not make a mountain out of a mole hill and you have nothing to feel bad or stupid about. You reacted the way any good and caring friend would. It sounds like his behavior has triggered your own symptoms, triggered you into feeling depressed and bad. I'm sorry you experienced that with him and I'm sorry you're having a hard time now. I hope you feel better soon and please don't beat yourself up about any of it, at all!

[Wild Coyote]

Excellent feedback from our friends here.

Your friend did some manipulating and it's not cool!
He obviously has some problems to sort out; even so, it was mean-spirited for him to do that to you. I hope he never does this to you again. you have every right to be angry with him.

Please take excellent care of yourself, as this event was quite triggering for you. You did nothing wrong.

You are kind-hearted and deserve support and compassion.


WC

[~Christina]

He manipulated you .

Same thing happened to me with someone on PC

I was furious and grateful but I did slowly back away from this person, I had to keep myself healthy.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Excellent feedback from our friends here.

Your friend did some manipulating and it's not cool!
He obviously has some problems to sort out; even so, it was mean-spirited for him to do that to you. I hope he never does this to you again. you have every right to be angry with him.

Please take excellent care of yourself, as this event was quite triggering for you. You did nothing wrong.

You are kind-hearted and deserve support and compassion.


WC

I agree wholeheartedly. Please take care of yourself. Your friend should not have done this particularly if he knows about your illness. That's just wrong.

[Wild Coyote]

I'm urging you to set some boundaries with this friend.
Make it clear to him exactly what you've gone through.
Make it clear to him that it's not acceptable for him to ever do this again.

I'm concerned that you'll find yourself suffering for the very same reason again in the near future if you are not honest with him.

You deserve better treatment.


WC

[Moon Lotus]

Thanks for the suggestions, Wild Coyote. I'm going to set some boundaries with him. I hated the way I felt, and I don't want to feel that way again. Right now, I really don't want to talk to him. Since we had been friends and talking for so long, I told him about my illness. I very, very rarely tell people about it, only my best friend and a few very close relatives know or have a clue. Now, I regret that I told him. I am going to let him know just how much his actions made me feel. If he gets upset and chooses not continue with our friendship, I'm okay with that. With the things he has told me, (if they are true) he needs to find some professional help, and I hope he finds it. Thanks again for your thoughtful words.