Acceptance of Diagnoses

My diagnosis (the one which qualifies me for this forum) is BP II.
My pdoc and I had started to discuss this diagnosis a year ago, although he admits he was considering it a year before he brought it up to me. I was quite clear on the facts that I fit the BP II criteria (I had thought so for several years).

Yet, when my pdoc had again gone over diagnostic info. this past week (which included c-PTSD and BP-II), I'd felt a bit "odd" kind of like the Bp-II part was still "news." (In the past, my depressions have been dx'd as: "Severe and atypical.")

My reaction to "talking diagnoses" this past week let me know I had not fully accepted the BP-II diagnosis yet (even though I thought I had accepted it).

I wasn't fully open with many about the "Severe Atypical Depression" diagnosis; yet, feel more open about that diagnosis than I do the Bipolar diagnosis, quite honestly. I think Bipolar diagnoses are less understood by the public at large. I almost feel like the Bp diagnosis needs to be kept more "secret."

Have you accepted you diagnosis fully?
How long did it take to reach full acceptance?
What helped, if anything?

Do you share the fact that you struggle with Bipolar illness?
With whom do you share this info?

Thanks in advance for sharing here.


WC

I don't like the diagnosis of BP either. When I was diagnosed as MDD it just seemed like that's more accepted by society.

I've accepted my diagnosis, but that doesn't mean I like it. I'm open about it with my family and a few friends, but that's about it. I keep a lid on it work simply because I don't feel it's relevant info. There is also the stigma.

It's all a matter of perspective

Do I have bipolar, or do I have superpowers?

My pdoc has bipolar written in my files, but we both agree I am Wonder Woman.

LOL!


WC

Yes, MDD seemed much more readily accepted by the general public.


WC

I have trouble accepting the bipolar part of my illness. I feel relatively well right now, and as a result I keep thinking... maybe I'm not BP. Maybe my doctors just exaggerated and saw what they wanted to see.

The schizo- part of my illness is even harder to accept. It just seems so... crazy, I guess. I just don't see myself this way. I guess I'm self-stigmatizing.

We are probably all self-stigmatizing. (Good term, by the way.)

You've had a lot of accomplishments lately, it seems?
You report feeling well. I could see how you'd wonder if the diagnoses were mistakes.

By the way, CONGRATS on your achievements!


WC

I never accepted Bipolar in my life until a couple of years ago. Before that it was just being hospitalized, throwing out pills, then rinse and repeat.

Now I am fully accepting of the mental illness of Bipolar I. It's so hard sometimes to live this way, but at least I KNOW what's wrong now, instead of going through life not having the answers for why I feel so crappy.

But I have had some good days though, like today. It's not so dark and bleak, and I think that self-stigmatizing thing is right on point.

Great thread!

Have you accepted you diagnosis fully? Yes Finally
How long did it take to reach full acceptance? 17 years I self medicated the best that I could.
What helped, if anything? I would have a severe manic episode every few years. This last one cost me almost everything. I am lucky to be alive.

I don't know if I've accepted my diagnosis. I was diagnosed as bipolar I back in August and got it confirmed by a second doctor. I don't know if I accept it. Some days I think I do and other days I'm ready to quit my meds and therapy altogether thinking I'm fine underneath it all. It feels complicated.

I tell everyone I'm friends with about all of my struggles. I post my feelings honestly on Facebook and my blog. I don't want anyone else to feel alone.

I don't think I've fully accepted my diagnosis. In bad times, I just feel depressed, and in good times I question whether I'm really bipolar at all. Maybe I exaggerated my symptoms? Maybe a therapist, a nurse practitioner, and two psychiatrists just saw what they wanted to see and called it bipolar 1? Then I think back to my manic episodes and realize that they really were serious, and my depressions and suicidal ideation were for real. I don't know...sometimes I still wonder.

I completely accept it. It explained so much. But I kept quiet about it for a while, especially at my last job. But then I felt confident enough to tell at few people in the past couple of years. I felt like I was doing well at work, I wasn't showing any signs of "crazy" and it was my way of breaking the stigma. But since I've been unwell lately, well I'm not happy about that. But I'll never regret it. Either way, knowing I have it has helped me to take better care of myself and be proactive in taking care of myself rather than reactive.

I have not fully accepted my diagnosis. Usually, I am more accepting right after I bounce back from an episode of depression. Most of the time I blame my symptoms on the medication. I read a lot. I'm more compliant with medication because of that and consistent therapy. I'm getting there -- work in progress.

its hard for me to accept any diagnosis. i was accused of malingering--making stuff up, basically--when i was younger. then it was supposedly a severe personality disorder. then schizophrenia. now bipolar i, although some semi-local 'professionals' from back in the day are vocal about it 'really' being schizophrenia.

so...yeah. my perspective right now is that whatever ails me is responding to some fairly standard psych drugs plus orthomolecular. honestly, my goal is to taper off the psych drugs one day. i've had quite enough.

Years back, there was a series of events that took place, all capturing the public view. It was a time in which it was popular to label the problem causer as Bipolar. As a result, a stigma developed. A stigma we still fight to overcome, today.

I knew most of my life that there was something odd about my behavior so when the diagnosis was made, I was actually relieved. I finally had a valid excuse.

I find that being bipolar is quite wonderful, having learned how to get the full advantage out of it. The crashes are sometimes a bummer, but the controlled highs are well worth the ride. I have been able to achieve some incredible ideals, that had it not been for bipolar, I never would have contemplated.

On the lighter side, just look at the number of people that spend thousands and thousands of dollars buying drugs to get them where I can go naturally.

There is no cure, this is who I am and I am going to make the most of it.

My family refuses to accept that I can use bipolar as an excuse for bad behavior.
so frustrating.
bizi

I totally accept my dx ... however I tell almost no one ... only one person at work knows ... the rest think I had a breakdown and take meds for that ... I would rather have them think I am si or depressed .. they understand that and have no issue with it ...

ps: the one that knows has been real helpful and alerts me when I sound or act (a little off) ... and does a hell of a job covering my butt when I (just have to be off ... mental health days) .. sometimes at the last minute ...

one a side note my daughter-in law frequently makes fun of people by calling outlandage behaviour as bipolar ... my wife and myself just look at each other ...

I hope to think I have accepted it (it's been 10 years since diagnosis), but the world makes it hard sometimes. I feel "crazy" for being crazy, lol. Seriously, though, people will expect you to be as capable as they are at everyday life tasks. My partner thinks I'm lazy because I can't keep up with chores, etc. But it takes all my emotional energy to teach high school all day and I am drained when I come home. I can't do what many people find quite easy. Sometimes I can't even stop to get milk. But others don't see what causes that. I explain it to others as diabetes or a broken leg. i CAN get things done, but also need some understanding of my limitations.

For me the diagnosis came this last year. They say it came out because of my PTSD and TBI, that MAYBE if I did not have those things my Bipolar would not have came to light. They also said this about my severe depression and anxiety. And all in all if I did not join the military I would me "normal".

It took me a few months to come to terms with this diagnosis. I think I still am. Because of this diagnosis along with others, I do feel I get looked at differently, well I know I do, especially in the military. I have been put on the Behavioral Health profile because I am to "unpredictable".

One moment I am okay with it and saying it's okay it is who am and the next I am questioning why me? I know I have Bipolar but I will not let it define me anymore. It has defined me long enough. I have been struggling with my moods long enough and the questionable diagnosis has been in the air long enough.

At this point it is time to control it and define it rather then let it continue to control us. We are not our illness.

I cried when the diagnosis first got on paper and I first began the trial of medications. I called my units embedded clinician. I then crawled in bed when I got home and cried. I then ignored the diagnosis. I finally started telling people about a month and a half later after I met with my counselor and my unit. I am now very open with it even though I am still unstable with it.

It took me about a year to allow myself to fully except it but I have now for
quite a while. It just made so much sense and cleared up so many things
about me that I couldn't understand. I am still very selective about who I tell
because most people don't really understand bipolar let alone bipolar 2.

I accept the psychosis part but not the bipolar part.....I've never really noticed mood swings but the voices are undeniable....as far as moods maybe some irritation ok major irritation but not really a high...maybe I just got the bad parts? Still I tell people bipolar as my alternate Dx is schizoaffective bipolar type....and people tend to freak out about the prefix schizo......

I also started showing BP-2 symptoms (much more clearly) after a TBI.

Have you been able to remain in the military?


WC

I don't know if I've fully accepted that I've been diagnosed with bipolar 2. I go from severe depression most of the time with some periods of feeling ok but no hypomania. I've questioned this diagnosis many times.

Only my immediate family and one friend know. To everyone else, I'll admit to severe depression and GAD. There is just too much stigma still around the bipolar label.

My very first diagnosises was PTSD with MDD-atypical. I still prefer that although I've been labeled bipoar by dozens of docs since then for decades. I resent BP.

the label or the disorder itself?
bizi