Parents of two

I can't get over wanting another baby! We have a five year old daughter already. She's an only.

If you're a parent of two or more how did it go when the another one was a baby? Did you get post partum depression? If you made the decision, did you or do you regret?

I know my husband wants another. He loves being a father, but he doesn't think it's a good idea because of bipolar and all those sleepless nights, etc. I'm also on a lot of meds and going off them could trigger me too. I need sleep. He said if I wasn't sick he'd for sure want another baby.

Is it easier with two?

I don't know. Maybe this baby obsession is just because I'm old and can feel my biological clock ticking.

I don't think one can regret having a child as there's too strong love for a child. But in a way, if I knew how bad it would get, I would rather not have a second child. I was having mild symptoms of bipolar, but it never got really bad and out of control, so I had not even seeked medical help before I had my second child. They are only 2 years apart and having that small spacing was hell. In total I had 6 years of disturbed sleep as the youngest kept waking up at nights untill 4. I have been stable only after that. In my heart I want a third child, but now way I'm going for it, I'm scared. One of my friends with schizophrenia has gone off meds to try for baby and she gone from long term stable to total crap, so I'm scared.
Sorry for being so negative

How about adoption? It's a wonderful thing....or getting a surrogate mother?

Hi, I have 4 kids. I wasn't diagnosed until after the 3rd was born. Ive had symptoms since about age 14 but with my first 2 I was fine. No postpartum depression. My third pregnancy was hell which lead me to seek help. My moods were all over the place and I should have been hospitalized. With my 4th I was pretty stable until the end. I also had other life things going on with the last 2 that caused major stress so that kind of factors in as well. My baby is almost 4 months and I did go into a cycle after and a little before having him. The depression has lifted but I still feel a little hypo. I've not been on meds since about this time last year. I think it's possible for you to go off meds and have your baby, just keep seeing your therapist. Before my last I was on Seroquel 150mg, after learning I was pregnant I was switched to Latuda 20mg and transitioned to taking nothing. I would just try to avoid anything in your life that would cause major stress because that could be a big trigger as it is for me. I hope this was somewhat helpful to you. I don't regret having my babies, they are the reason I keep going even when I'm depressed and don't want to be here anymore. They are my motivation.

I also wanted to add...that after my present only child who now is a teen...the idea of passing on a bipolar gene kinda bothers me . At least my son isn't a beeper yet considering that both parents are.

Two is work, and I'm not talking about the pregnancy or postpartum issues. My saving grace was that I was very stable at the time I was having my children; you have to be able to fully be there for them and be pretty stable so you can really effectively parent.

My instability came when I was older and my children were in their elementary and high school years. It was hard on them and I do think they bear some effects from having Mom not be fully there for them. They're great kids (adults really now), and I have no regrets about having them. I do have some regrets for putting them through my years of instability (and I was pretty high functioning).

Babies don't stay babies, and kids watch and see and are affected by what they witness their parents go through, how present their parents are able to be for them, how stable their parents are for themselves and as a constant presence in their lives.

You have just come off a period where you were unable to live with your husband and daughter due to your instability. It might be a good idea to see how well you can maintain stability for a year or so before you venture into the stress of a second child. It is okay to dedicate your time to your daughter and husband, putting your energy into maintaining stability for them, growing those relationships, and healing from those times that weren't the best.

yeah you have recently been through a LOT and have shared your difficulties in parenting one child through this time. I would give it time and think it through
I have two and it much more difficult than one. everything Lola said is true. I feel bad for the episodes/hospitalizations they had to deal with. they are both good and healthy boys but it's tough for them and for me

I had postpartum depression after my first baby; I was fine after my second child was born. Two is not easier, it's more work and much less time for yourself. That said, I wish I would have had more children.

Two is easy in that you have one person there to give attention to each one. Now three, there's a paradigm shift. It's like going from man coverage to zone defense. Add a fourth to the mix (as I have), and they just have to come along for the ride. There are times I wish for the civility of parenting one or two kids, then I just go back and enjoy the party that my six-person family guarantees.

When we were younger, we'd taken in a very special foster child. She'd ended up staying for ten years, ages 8-18 y.o. (It's a long story.) In short, this sweet young lady was devastated that she could not live with her mentally ill mother; her mother could not care for her and had given up 5 children.
Ages 8-18 are quite a challenge. Sure, a child can do more for themselves; yet, much more comes up in other ways. An older child is trying to sort things out, may be "acting out," is struggling to individuate and more.

We love her very much. We had our hands full with one. I could not imagine two or more, while giving each child all they may need. This young lady needed a lot, especially considering all she was going through with her mom/family constantly. She was truly devastated/traumatized that her mentally ill mom gave her and her siblings over to the state. This all caused her many psychological problems to resolve.

Lots to think about.

WC

When I was pregnant and full time nursing, I was too pretty stable, probably the most stable I have ever been.