[Mr. Radio]

Perhaps it's just me and I'm in a state of illusion that I've never been able to come out of. Maybe my ego is suppose to of died and is hanging on by any means necessary by not letting me live down what I think I should be or where I think I should be at.

They say a new self is born after a psychotic episode, that may be true and all, but my question is, does that new you ever get back to a normal you? Like do you feel 100% of things you were able to do in the past or is there a disability brought on from the psychotic episode. Tell me from your experience. I'm in another self debate.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Mr. Radio

Perhaps it's just me and I'm in a state of illusion that I've never been able to come out of. Maybe my ego is suppose to of died and is hanging on by any means necessary by not letting me live down what I think I should be or where I think I should be at.

They say a new self is born after a psychotic episode, that may be true and all, but my question is, does that new you ever get back to a normal you? Like do you feel 100% of things you were able to do in the past or is there a disability brought on from the psychotic episode. Tell me from your experience. I'm in another self debate.

It's been just over 3 years since my major psychosis began. It lasted more than a year. I have never recovered, but then I have experienced 2 pregnancies within that time. Based on this, I would say no, I will never recover.

That said, I was extremely unstable as a teen and had a much milder psychotic episode at 15. For upwards of 8 years I maintained stability (for the most part). It never even occurred to me during this time that the diagnosis of bipolar given to me as a teen could be correct. So, maybe sometimes there is full recovery and sometimes not? Maybe it depends on the severity? But, as for me, I feel certain I will not recover again.

[BandName]

Originally Posted by Mr. Radio

Perhaps it's just me and I'm in a state of illusion that I've never been able to come out of. Maybe my ego is suppose to of died and is hanging on by any means necessary by not letting me live down what I think I should be or where I think I should be at.

They say a new self is born after a psychotic episode, that may be true and all, but my question is, does that new you ever get back to a normal you? Like do you feel 100% of things you were able to do in the past or is there a disability brought on from the psychotic episode. Tell me from your experience. I'm in another self debate.

You can never take away the experience of having a psychotic episode. It completely changed the way I look at the world. After being so sure of things and to later learn was all a false reallity completely changed my outlook. I am now very skeptical of feelings and impressions I have, but I am also much more empathetic to others point of view or struggles.

After my big episode it took me a while to come back to a feeling full functionality. I would not write yourself off as never being able to get to 100%. I'm not sure of your situation, but sometimes things like this help you get the help/medication to be better off in the long run. At the best of times I feel I am 150% as functional as I was before my episode. At the worst Maybe 30%. Give it time, this may work out for the best.

When life gives you lemons, clone those lemons and make super lemons.

[raspberrytorte]

I don't know. I'm not the same person I was before it. I may appear and act like the same person, but something in my brain is broken now, or this is just my new normal and eventually I'll get used to it.

[Victoria'smom]

I use to think so but I think as time goes on the psychosis comes more often and I don't have the recovery time.

I don't feel even remotely like the same person. I feel very insecure and just nothing like I used to be. Idk if we ever get back to where we were...

[wiretwister]

not the same, but maybe more time will tell

[gemini_double]

Speaking for myself, because my psychotic delusional episode was so real to me, I don't think I'll ever go back to "normal" or how I "was" before it happened. The best we can do is understand our episodes are/were not normal, and keep on keeping on.

[BipolaRNurse]

Sometimes I wonder at how things could have gotten so screwy in my brain and if I'll ever totally trust my impressions again. But life isn't over so I won't rule out the idea of complete recovery from psychosis.

[raspberrytorte]

For me it was just so scary, how much I truly believed my delusion. I believed it with all my being.

In a way it makes me feel comforted that so many others have difficulty getting over a psychotic episode. I felt like such a baby about it, until I read on here that so many others have difficulty with it too. I didn't think it would be such a life altering experience! I thought I'd be fine once I got home from the hospital and it was all over, but I'm not fine. But I am getting better I think. I even almost made it through today without having to take my clonazepam at work. Almost.

[Sinking Feeling]

Good question and hard to answer for many reasons. We are all different, and also even if he had no illnesses, we are all forever changing to some degree, so I kind of doubt or question what our "norm" is suppose to be any ways.

[Angelique67]

I have sz, not bp, but it seems to be true for me that I'm not the person I was since I discovered I've been psychotic for a number of years. I thought I was being stalked but the noises were hallucinations. I don't think I'll ever be the same again. Cognitively I'm slower, sadder, less fight left in me etc, although some of this must be due to medication.

[Mr. Radio]

I know I don't feel back to normal. I don't know if we can ever feel like we can ever get back to normal after a break. The only thing we can really do is get stable enough to not have another one and they consider that normal for us people who have psychotic brains. Maybe that's harsh way to describe it, but I've been up and down more this past month more then ever than before and it's due to my bipolar sure I'm stable, but I don't believe I'm doing as well as I could be. There's something about psychosis that is alluring and disturbing at the same time. There's a point in it were you gain this freedom and a with the meds and everything afterward it's like it all goes away. I just want to be healthy and feel like that's the most difficult thing to be with this disorder.

[lunaticfringe]

After a series of psychotic episodes over the span of a few years, I feel it's left me a bit strange. I do not trust myself and my own judgments and perceptions as some others have said. I have not recovered quite yet but I hope that with time things will normalize. All I truly want is to live a nice, normal life but that's pretty difficult when you don't know what to expect each day. I feel like I am often on the edge of psychosis if that makes sense... one more off thought and I could be deep in it again.

[pegasus]

It takes time.

[electricbipolargirl]

My psychotic break was about 4 years ago. I think it took me about a year to get back to "normal". When I was trying to recover, my memory was horrible. My family members would tell me all of the humiliating things that I did during my psychosis and I couldn't remember any of them. But slowly the images came back. And most times, I wish they hadn't. I was so embarrassed.

It did take about a good year, give or take, but slowly I re-emerged. And these days, I'm feeling pretty good and my cocktail seems like it's keeping me in check. I mostly feel like the person I was before the break, except more empathic toward people who suffer from psychosis. My memory is much better. In fact, lately, I suffer more from my anxiety disorder than I do my bipolar disorder.

I really hope that you recover from your break and become the person you want to be. Take care!

[Secretum]

I never recovered fully. My first break was over 10 years ago, when I was 12. My early onset could have explained part of this, however. It seriously disrupted my development, and I can never go back.

I think it depends on the person and the circumstances. If you can go years after your break without suffering another one, or other severe symptoms, you may have a chance.

Good luck!

[~Christina]

I think its possible.. Life happens... Our lives evolve daily...

[Nammu]

If we lived in a society where a psychotic break was considered a blessing from the gods would we think we must get back to where we were before the break? In someways I feel that I have new eyes to see the world in a way that normals can never experience.

[Recovery Girl]

Since my onset was so early, I feel that depression is my normal. But I also believe that we are all unique and ever changing....hopefully better than we were the day before.

[Road_to_recovery]

Well, I have never been to the point of psychosis. But I can say that I'm definitely not the same person I was before my first true manic episode at age 19. I miss the caring, innocent person I used to be.

[ibrahimsamirk]

I hope so

[LacunaCoiler]

For me I'm mostly back to "normal" and can function at all aspects of my life pretty dam.n well. However, I have this lingering fear of falling back into another psychosis and that's something I'd love to move on from.

[bioChE]

What exactly do you mean by "normal"? When I'm on my meds, I'm not the same person as I am without them. That's the only way I've come out of a psychosis in the past. I'll never consider myself "normal."

I hate the word "normal" when used to describe how people behave. What's normal to you isn't normal to someone else. There is your normal, then there is my normal. And on top of that there is society's normal.