[cashart10]

My mail order pharmacy has royally screwed up one my meds. I've been waiting for it for more than a week and have been told that it will actually be here by wed. At the same time, my pdoc is making changes to my meds. My t has started EMDR (which I highly recommend) which has been working but has greatly stirred up trauma in my life. I feel so suicidal as a result.

My husband is back to his assholish ways sometimes. Last night, when he wanted to get out of my daughter having a sleep over (he thought the house was to messy, which was of course my fault) and we had the following conversation:

Him: I will just tell them that the pdoc has screwed up your meds and you are a mess right now.

Me: I don't want them to know that.

Him: Don't worry, his wife is bat-**** crazy too.

He was kidding at the time but come on. Then when he came home he was pissed about several things and I told him that his snide comment had hurt my feelings. He said "yeah, but if you are going to hide behind your mental illness you have to accept the fact that you're crazy."

How hurtful! He apologized and felt badly but still.

I have to ask him to take over my meds because my thoughts, especially at night, are very dangerous but in the past he has failed at this request. We shall see. I feel so overwhelmed.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Geez! How mean! I'm sorry hope things shape up

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I hope things smooth out between you and your husband. I really hope he handles your meds at night. It's good that you recognize potential danger. Best wishes.

[lilypup]

That's pretty mean. My husband does my meds all the time although he has written out what I am taking when just in case he has an emergency. I highly recommend that you keep up with your meds in writing so you could do them if need be.

I know that awful feeling of not wanting guests because the house is messy. Also, usually it's because I don't want to get up and entertain kids. My kids never had a lot of friends over, even though we have a very nice house and I was always friendly to their friends. I just guess someone sensed I had problems. Probably mostly my OWN kids.

You're not crazy, you have mental illness. Terms like crazy don't help you. Can you nicely ask him not to use that term in a negative fashion?

[Unrigged64072835]

Thankfully my daughter's friends don't care about the mess. They go up to the loft which is their disaster area.

Your husband shouldn't have said that. It was cruel. Hope you two can work something out.

[Wild Coyote]

My "areas" in the house are quite messy right now.
The common living area is very clean, only because we hire it done.

I hope you and hubby can have an open heart-to-heart and you can each lovingly share your feelings.

It's been quite a week for you!
Hang in there!


WC

[cashart10]

All of the neighbor kids always hang out at my home and I love it because I know what my own kids are doing. That is fine. This, on the other hand, is a good friend from work that he works with that he wants to impress. My house is clean, just much more unkept because I've been so down. He hates when my house is a mess. He says if he works all day that it's not right that I can't manage the house. I understand and agree but he adds to my depression.

Heart to hearts don't work for him. He just doesn't understand. When I am well or manic, we get along fine.

[raspberrytorte]

His comment was so mean. It hurt my feelings and it wasn't even directed at me.

[Wild Coyote]

No heart-to-heart talks? Sad for you. That's a lot for you to just swallow.

(((((( Cashart ))))))


WC

[Victoria'smom]

Hopefully he gets better.

I am so sorry your husband tried to throw you under the bus like that and use your very serious mental illness in such a horrible way and to make your kids blame your illness for them missing out. That is abuse. We can still love and people can even be good people and abuse us and in my opinion this is abuse. (((Hugs)))

[BipolaRNurse]

I honestly don't know why you've stuck with him. This is far from the first time he's been mean and nasty to you; if I recall correctly, he has even threatened to leave you on more than one occasion. This is emotional abuse! You deserve better. I'm so sorry your home life is so difficult. That's hardly the way to get better.

[pepperlynne]

I know what you mean about your husband just not understanding. Then there's the guilt that follows when you realize your mental illness is making him sad. I feel terrible sometimes that my husband just doesn't get it. He makes me think I'm crazy of that I'm exaggerating in some way. He brushes off my lows sometimes. It's tough though I'm sure from his point of view too. Anyway, hope everything works out.

[cashart10]

Thanks guys! My t told me it is abusive too. She is going to help me find respectful ways to stand up to him. The problem is, I have tried to stand up to him plenty of times and he just tells me not to sass him. It drives me crazy because I am not a child. Once he told me to stop with the attitude or he would leave. At that I told him to see his way out. After several threats of him leaving again, I made it clear that I wasn't going to put up with that anymore so he stopped.

Yes bpnurse, he actually left me. He said he could no longer be sympathetic of my illness and he started seeing me as a lazy and incompetent person. We had lawyers and papers and everything. As for why I've stuck with him? Love? Afraid he'll get the kids because of my illness? I'm really not sure. But, I can promise that if it doesn't stop, I will leave at some point. He wears me down so much.