Exhausted and crying again...does it get better?

lilypup · Jun 11, 2017, 12:48 PM

Crying a lot. So depressed. Glued to the couch. See tdoc and pdoc Friday. My birthday.

I know you guys can't help but needed to reach out.

Don't think the hospital would help. Here you must be sui to get in. Fortunately I am not.

Tough times. Tired of struggling. Don't even know what is wrong.

Jun 11, 2017, 12:50 PM

(((Hugs))). I'm so sorry you are feeling so low.....I hope things improve and swing up for you soon. (((More hugs)))

Sunflower123 · Jun 11, 2017, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilypup

Crying a lot. So depressed. Glued to the couch. See tdoc and pdoc Friday. My birthday.

I know you guys can't help but needed to reach out.

Don't think the hospital would help. Here you must be sui to get in. Fortunately I am not.

Tough times. Tired of struggling. Don't even know what is wrong.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I understand how you feel. I often feel that way myself. I'm glad you've got a pdoc and tdoc lined up for Friday. We can offer support and caring until you make it to your appointments. Thinking of you.

hopeless2015 · Jun 11, 2017, 12:55 PM

Sending hugs, I'm so sorry your struggling right now.

lilypup · Jun 11, 2017, 12:55 PM

Thanks so much Elsa and Jennifer.

lilypup · Jun 11, 2017, 12:56 PM

Thanks hopeless.

Jun 11, 2017, 12:59 PM

So sorry you're struggling. I've been there too. Hopefully upcoming appts can help. Big hugs!

lilypup · Jun 11, 2017, 01:01 PM

Thanks so much rose

markmcc21 · Jun 11, 2017, 01:14 PM

Big hugs. So sorry you're so low.

Wild Coyote · Jun 11, 2017, 01:24 PM

Sounds very uncomfortable, Lilypup.

I hope the depression will let up quickly.

(((((( Lilypup ))))))

We are here for you.

WC

lilypup · 02:06 PM

Thanks Mark and Coyote. I really appreciate you.

I have stopped crying now. That is a big improvement.

Leia78 · Jun 12, 2017, 04:56 PM

Sorry you've been having a hard time. How are you feeling now? Are things any better?

lilypup · Jun 14, 2017, 01:32 PM

Thanks for caring Leia.

I've figured out the morning nausea is from Gabapentin. The psych meds forum advised me not to discontinue it suddenly. So I am waiting till Friday when I see my pdoc.

I have stopped crying but I am terribly depressed. I have periods where I feel "okay", but I still don't want to get up. I am sort of swinging between "not good, but okay" and "really ****ty".

I decided my pdoc (who is pretty new) might not be aggressive enough to help me feel better. So I did some research and came up with the names of two new pdocs. Neither of them take insurance. I e-mailed one of them and she called me back. She is $375 for the intake and $150 after that for med checks. I asked her if she thought she could help me. She said sure, that Latuda and Seroquel were the best for bipolar. Well, I've had seroquel and it just doped me up. I took Latuda and it did nothing either way. So I am sort of doubting this woman is worth the money. (My current pdoc is free with my insurance.) I have not heard back from the other pdoc but I know he just takes cash also. We can afford the cash but I hate to waste the money.

I feel very hopeless. Friday will be one more depressed and lonely birthday. It never ends.

But a big thanks to all of you who have been so kind.

Victoria'smom · Jun 14, 2017, 01:39 PM

I hope you start feeling better soon.

Unrigged64072835 · Jun 14, 2017, 01:50 PM

Hope you're able to find some relief soon. It sucks to feel low and not have proper help.

Jun 14, 2017, 02:28 PM

I'm thinking of you lilypup.

Tkb1966 · Jun 14, 2017, 09:10 PM

I know that feeling and also that no one can really help. But I'm glad you're reaching out here, that helps. Hope you feel better soon.

lilypup · Jun 15, 2017, 10:55 AM

Thanks tkb and Elsa. I cancelled my tdoc appt for tomorrow. She has moved to a nice business office and there are a lot of people coming and going. There is no way I can sit in there and cry. Still don't feel sui, if I do will go IP. Thanks for all the concern.

Leia78 · Jun 15, 2017, 01:01 PM

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I'm really sorry Latuda didn't help you as it has helped me and I was hoping to read the end of that sentence to say that you would be able to try it. I was on seroquel for awhile, too and it just made me feel over drugged and I wrecked two cars in one summer while taking it. I don't blame you for not wanting seroquel. I hope your pdoc can offer you some options. I know time seems to go by so slowly when you're feeling so low but keep fighting, keep posting here. I hope the depression lifts soon and that you find some enjoyment on your birthday.

lilypup · Jun 15, 2017, 01:07 PM

Thanks Leia,

God, I don't drive that courageously anyway...I'd hate to wreck a car! Thanks for filling me in on that.
I forgot to say thanks for the support from Miguel's Mom and Fhairrage.

I found out my husband has gotten me a cake and some flowers. That's good enough. I've had so many bad birthdays I can't even count. If it weren't for my kids and husband I would just crawl in a corner and wait for the end.

Unrigged64072835 · Jun 15, 2017, 04:42 PM

Hope you still have a pleasant birthday tomorrow.

lilypup · Jun 16, 2017, 12:04 PM

I feel a little hope today. I saw my pdoc and she discontinued the Gabapentin which was nauseating me. She also increased my Rexulti from 2.0 to 3.0. She also increased my Wellbutrin from 200 to 300. I cried in her office. Again she told me to think "happy thoughts". I wanted to punch her.

It's my birthday and I've had a few friends say "Happy Birthday" both on FB and on text. That was nice. I got some cookies and cards and earrings and I hear I have a cake coming later. So that is all good.

I have some hope for the med change. All I can do is hope.

rwwff · Jun 16, 2017, 12:07 PM

Gifting you a virtual cookie, and a gentle "happy birthday!"

lilypup · Jun 16, 2017, 12:12 PM

Thanks rwwff,
Nice to meet you!

Jun 16, 2017, 12:29 PM

Hope your birthday gets better fast Have you considered either going to the store (or getting a delivery somehow? Sometimes you can charge a product on the phone and get a cab to go get it for you. ) Or you could call a friend to come see you and buy you a present for yourself? You could buy yourself a present? Maybe something to eat, or flowers? I did that yesterday. Fortunately, I do not have a weight broblem, and I love flowers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilypup

Crying a lot. So depressed. Glued to the couch. See tdoc and pdoc Friday. My birthday. Exhausted and crying again...does it get better?

I know you guys can't help but needed to reach out.

Don't think the hospital would help. Here you must be sui to get in. Fortunately I am not.

Tough times. Tired of struggling. Don't even know what is wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilypup

Crying a lot. So depressed. Glued to the couch. See tdoc and pdoc Friday. My birthday. Exhausted and crying again...does it get better?

I know you guys can't help but needed to reach out.

Don't think the hospital would help. Here you must be sui to get in. Fortunately I am not.

Tough times. Tired of struggling. Don't even know what is wrong.

Oh boy ----- can I ever relate. I get so TIRED of this whole mess, and I know you do too! One thing I found out - this is not a new thing! There were "mad kings" back in the middle ages. I guess this makes me feel better, but poor guys/kings. Did you know that Meriwether Lewis, the explorer, probably had bipolar? (We think we are descended from a relative of him. There are Lewls members of the family. Meriwether never married.)

https://www.healthcentral.com/articl...iweather-lewis

Apparently, there ks a lot of controversy over why he died. Was it from syphilus, or manic depression, or depression, of alcoholism?

http://americancreation.blogspot.com...her-lewis.html

By most standards, it appears that Lewis suffered from Bipolar Disorder. ... When it came to religion, Lewis' apparent struggles with depression ...

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Exhausted and crying again...does it get better?

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