Question about SI

Does SI ever totally go away? I am bipolar 1 and seem to be on a cocktail that works pretty well for me. I am stable for the most part except for brief bouts of depression usually because of thinking about all that I have lost. The SI is always in the back of my mind. Anyone else feel like this?

I think old habits die hard. I don't SI often anymore but sometimes the urge will just randomly pop up. It's a coping mechanism that isn't healthy, but unfortunately it does provide temporary relief. It's understandable that it might be in the back of your mind on bad days. The trick is to come up with more positive coping mechanisms to replace the self injury urges.

I have tried CBT with 3 different therapists it as never worked. The last one explained the the barrier that I built for self protection is unbreakable . I believe the SI is tied up in there somehow.

Yeah it seems to hang around a lot even when I'm well. Go figure

It's always in the back of my mind unless I'm elevated. Didn't do it for years until this past Feb.(brought on by significant depression) Most of the time I can ignore it by distraction but it's a struggle. Good luck

I feel it more when I'm really depressed. It can float in and float back out. I usually try keeping myself busy.

It floats around in my head most days , I look at it an think "meh" and go about my day.

Happens to me a lot. I usually say
No not today

I feel slightly offended by mine these days; it feels completely inappropriate, yet its echo remains. A bad, habitual coping mechanism.

I saw my Pdoc today. He added 150mg of wellbutrin to my cocktail to help with the back round depression and SI. I took it years ago at a higher dosage and it gave me bad anxiety but my chemistry has changed so hopefully it works. He didn't want to mess around with the rest of my cocktail.

Question...I use the abbreviation SI for suicidal ideation but I gather from one of the posts on here that it means self injury. Can someone help me with what the abbreviations for both are? Thank you. Best wishes.

Thanks for the question!
I keep getting that confused.
I'd thought it meant suicidal ideation, of which I have plenty, until I'd read the responses.
I am looking forward to the answer.

WC

I meant it as suicidal ideation

I experience suicidal ideation most days, to varying degrees, depending on the severity of depression at the time.

This has been the case since I was a child.

I'm surprised I have never "attempted," considering how often it's on my mind. Luckily, I'm not a very impulsive person.

I am also using Wellbutrin (added to other meds with antidepressant properties), in hopes of minimizing the depression.

I hope the Wellbutrin works for you.


WC

I've had SI for several years with little to no improvement. I have a longstanding belief I'm meant to do it, and that it is ultimately how I will go. No amount of meds or therapy has willed that wish away. During mixed episodes I have experienced variations of it, such as believing I am meant to try but I am invincible to death.

Thanks for all your responses I don't feel as alone with those thoughts anymore. I just need better coping skills like mentioned earlier.

I have SI most days, at varying degrees like WC, depending on the severity of the depression. They also pop into my head on good days as well. I've pretty much learned to ride them out as it happens so often. Best wishes.

It seems like the Self Injury forum uses SI for self injury a lot, and it has carried over onto other forums. Most of the time on the Bipolar forum SI=suicidal ideation and SH=self harm. I understand your confusion. I'm always trying to figure out the context.

Thanks for the clarification. I'd have to say then I have SI regularly with moderate to severe depression and mixed episodes.