Failed summer

I'm such a fn failure.

What would make you feel successful?

}}} boogiesmash ! {{{

ur not a failure, that's the bipolar and soc anx speaking, kick it's butt

Hugs boogiesmash!!! You're not a failure. Contact me any time. I kind of had the feeling you might be depressed. Don't let the negative thoughts win. You're NOT a failure.

Your friend,
WFC

Hugs boogie! You are not a failure!!!

You're not a failure, boogie. Why do you think you are?

How did that online DBT course go?

My finances are in disarray. I'm so close to paying off my lawyer to file bankruptcy and I'm about to get garnished which will throw my full payment off. That and I've been putting in whole bunch of hours in ot to get this paid and somewhat enjoy my summer, maybe meet some one and live life again. But no I'm going to be broke barely covering rent and my lawyer postponed. I'll get the money back once the bankruptcy goes through but might be few months now if that goes into effect soon. Why can't I win. I was hoping this is the year I'd break out. Year I have some friends over for football games, actually go to adult Halloween parties and have someone to be with New Years and finally not be alone. Maybe even a New Years kiss and not be alone . Was hoping to get back in school in fall and finish my degree.
Now I may not be able to get any of this done. I can't go out if I'm broke. I want to. I at least go to the park and try to run I go to the gym but this isn't enough. My past few paycheck only had few bucks for food and been getting by with McDonald's cheap stuff but nothing healthy. I'm trying to get back in shape and this too is getting impeded.
Bottom line
I'm a failure, alone ,broke and can't win. I'm defeated. I'm worthless.

I want to enjoy summer. It's been fn years since on boardwalk or in a date. One point I knew I was handsome but. Ow I'm huge and no. E wants to bb with me. This is so Focking frustrated and demeaning. I'm suffering for what. What fn incident did I do to suffer so much. I try to do good, never ,ean and if one of coworkers are struggling I felp. Never let my friends down when they need me. I don't sweat them with my issues. I'm f ux,omg 37.
I should be married with kids and a dog. Not living in an overpriced apartment by myself.

It was bad enough that went it binge of alcohol self hating and spending stuff after I hit rock bottom to feel better. That shift just put me worse I hate not going out st all. I want to meet people and not feel rejected or judged. I'm a good guy I swear I've dome nothing wrong I had bad hand dealt to me and it soiralex out of c trol.
And I have no picutrx of my good times xajse I hate how I look. I regret it I lost so much me,priest and have noting to re,e,near them by.

I'm nothing. I'm broken I'm hurt I'm tired of all this pain.

I woke 80 hours of ot past month and half to get out for this mess. I was doing close. But I. Ot close. I need 3 more ot and lawyer and all fees are solemn. Then would be along to start fresh. Start a new and enjoy life a bit responsible. Now I gotta do tip playing with over drafts and paying more. I bust my *** working my part time and trying to hustle ot at my job that so I tes xo sists of 20 hour shifts. Going in at 6am and leave 2 am jut to be beach in at 6 or to the sec s job.

I'm so broken

It sucks having social anxiety.
It really does.
I am sorry you are in pain..... Please don't hurt your self.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Took couple ambien tying to forget a DNA go to sleep

I wish I had pictures of the good times. Something to remind me about good times. But I hate how I look. I regret it though. No pictures. No proof that I ever had fun. No proof that I was happy at one point

what is DNA?
bizi

I'm here for you boogie. Don't forget about me. I love talking to you and can see you're a great guy. Just try to go to sleep and hopefully feel better in the AM. Hugs to you. I would hug you in person if I could.

I'm going to sleep now but I'm sending positive vibes out to you that you'll feel better soon.

And go to sleep

I want to fork the beach and enjoy masked. I want to walk boardwalk with friends and hopefully interested lady and win her a prize. Want to eat s lobster and maybe gamble little.e. I hate not being able to do this. That the answer is ok you are fighting g hard but it'll be worth if for next year. It is. Extyear. Almost out of my debt and still can't enjoy life. What the **** is the point. Work work work work. No life whatsoever when done wor, No friends to meet no fa,ily to greet nothing. Occasionally visit my mom. But besides that it's my bed I always retreat to. My iPad being my only friend. Then iome Facebook and see everyone having fun some n vac some day trip. Beaches , casinos zip lines fun memories being created. What do I have? Tears and venti f. Frustration breaking down. I want to experience so,e of this. I want to have fun. I want to live life. I don't want to go to my bed alone and cry cry cry. I'm tired of. Being sorry for myse,d. I want to ,wet peop,e have fun and take some pictures. I want to see me having fun. All I'm doing is crying.

I am sorry. There so much I want to do rather than be in. Ed j see a rock and. Ot enjoying life. This is death. The dying is just the formality

please go to sleep. After taking ambien and staying awake can cause you big problems.
I am worried about you.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Awe, boogie, you're still not a failure. It seems like you've hit a rock bottom moment. Things will get better. I promise. You'll get through this. If I lived near you I'd go places with you. You're a good person. I think that's what's the most important.

Lots of love.

Sarah

I'm sorry things are rough, boogie. How's your sobriety? Can you reach out to your sponsor?

I'm not in an addictions program.

My rock bottom moment was a lot worse than this. But thanks for the words

I am hoping that you slept off some of the negative energy. I hope you can have a better day. When we are bipolar life can change in an instant.
I am hoping that good things come your way.
Don't give up hope.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi