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#276
Aug 13, 2017, 05:45 PM
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Depression getting worse over the weekend. Dystonia calming down. Meds were changed on Friday, but pharmacy could not get them in stock until Monday afternoon. Wellbutrin was helpful with depression but had to be drastically decreased due to dystonia. I hope my meds are in soon. I'm feeling like a hopeless hurting unit.
Love to All!  WC |
 Anonymous59125, Guiness187055, liveforsummer, Sunflower123
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#277
Aug 13, 2017, 07:30 PM
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I am having one of those dose of reality moments.
Previously, I looked upon my year of mania as being a thrilling worthwhile experience. I had no regrets even though it came at great cost - $50,000 over ten months, a job, and relationships. But I had always found some value. I did some pretty fantastic things I reminded myself for which the average person has no opportunity. I looked back and said, "I did XYZ" and I'm proud of it. Today marks the six year anniversary of my quitting a job and running away to live my dream. But that dream didn't last. I realise for the first time today that this all is regrettable. I am not better off having lived these experiences and they came at a heavy price. It is not sadness. Just a matter of factness. This adventure was not worth living my present hardship. The money I would have saved alone would have made my life today better. |
| Anonymous59125, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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 Guiness187055
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#278
Aug 13, 2017, 08:56 PM
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Very stressful day. On the road traveling for 3 plus hours (I have car phobia) and it was horribly stress inducing. I don't usually like when people call others stupid but all I could think today was "I see dumb people" they were everywhere.....I could not escape, even when looking in the mirror. Just stressful!!!! I got to see my son for our first visitation however and that was very pleasant and lovely. Glad to be back home safe and away from people who likely got their drivers license from a Cracker Jack box.
I'm sorry for all the bad stuff and feelings many of us are experiencing right now and hope we ALL see calmer waters soon. (((Hugs))) |
| liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#279
Aug 13, 2017, 08:56 PM
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*sorry for the double post.....don't know how to delete it or how it happened*
Very stressful day. On the road traveling for 3 plus hours (I have car phobia) and it was horribly stress inducing. I don't usually like when people call others stupid but all I could think today was "I see dumb people" they were everywhere.....I could not escape, even when looking in the mirror. Just stressful!!!! I got to see my son for our first visitation however and that was very pleasant and lovely. Glad to be back home safe and away from people who likely got their drivers license from a Cracker Jack box. I'm sorry for all the bad stuff and feelings many of us are experiencing right now and hope we ALL see calmer waters soon. (((Hugs))) |
| Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#280
Aug 14, 2017, 01:06 AM
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I've been dealing with anxiety. I'm using coping skills. Music, hot baths and aroma therapy is helping. I went swimming today with my mom. That went ok.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#281
Aug 14, 2017, 01:08 AM
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Quote:
I really hate your in pain. Do your best to keep busy.
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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| Sunflower123
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#282
Aug 14, 2017, 06:58 AM
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Quote:
You tried to wean off the lexapro but failed with pdoc so you just quit it??? I am sorry you are suffering. bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#283
Aug 14, 2017, 07:43 AM
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Note to my pdoc:
Dr. Orazio, I should have waited a while before giving you a report about my sleeping in regards to the new bed and med increase. Had one great nights sleep when I wrote to you and have had problems ever since, so dissapointing. The last week has been the worst. Not sure whether it is my bipolar being off or the bed or my arthritis...but I am not sleeping well at all. The last few nights I kept staring at the clock...hour after hour...it was awful! If my hips don't improve then I will go see my doctor. We have a 30 day trial on the bed. sigh elizabeth
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#284
Aug 14, 2017, 10:14 AM
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Home today, I had a pretty good run with no depression but it seems to be back again. I hate my brain, HATE it!!
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| gina_re, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#285
Aug 14, 2017, 11:05 AM
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Mixed episode + trauma responses = HELL.
__________________
   
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| liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#286
Aug 14, 2017, 11:50 AM
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Working from home today. I should feel relaxed, but I am feeling very panicked.
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| bizi, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#287
Aug 14, 2017, 11:54 AM
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Having a really down day. I can't stop thinking about all that I lost from my last manic episode. I had my dream job and a great relationship with my family. Now both are gone. As I have gotten older my manic episodes get worse. I just have to change my mindset and stop thinking about the past. What's gone is gone.
__________________
Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
| liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#288
Aug 14, 2017, 12:01 PM
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I'm in the piercing shop trading in mildly bigger plugs. They kinda gave me the look like "what's the point?" But here I sit on the hard bench in the waiting area because two people are getting pierced at the same time.
Well I got chastised for not using enough oil and massaging them enough. And I looked for jojoba oil at the drug store but found nothing.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg  Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Last edited by Moose72; Aug 14, 2017 at 01:46 PM. |
| liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#289
Aug 14, 2017, 12:32 PM
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I'm afraid to leave the house again, I hate when I get this way. I know it's irrational but I still feel this way
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#290
Aug 14, 2017, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Anything you want to elaborate? (((((HUGS))))) bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#291
Aug 14, 2017, 12:53 PM
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I am not in the full depth of depression but I still can't out.
I have allowed most of the summer to go by without doing very much. That is very very bad for me, the summer is when I am usually in good spirits. I love the summer and all things that go with it but if I am having this problem now then I am truly worried about this winter. I hate the winter with a passion and that is usually when I get real depressed. This is not a good sign.
__________________
I traded it in for a whole 'nother world A pirate flag and an island girl |
| Anonymous37971, Anonymous59125, gina_re, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#292
Aug 14, 2017, 01:10 PM
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Feel like jumping into the car and go racing down the road at 100's of mph and screaming on top of my lungs.......but I won't, I'll sit here like a good little girl and watch my life shrivele up.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous37971, Anonymous59125, bizi, fishin fool, gina_re, liveforsummer, porcelainboy, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#293
Aug 14, 2017, 02:42 PM
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Quote:
I am very lucky that I didn't kill someone.
__________________
I traded it in for a whole 'nother world A pirate flag and an island girl |
| bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#294
Aug 14, 2017, 03:40 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| bizi, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#296
Aug 14, 2017, 05:43 PM
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My mind is a raw, open wound right now. Every minor stressor feels like someone is pouring salt on it.
__________________
Bipolar 1 Latuda 120 mg Adderall 40 mg |
| Anonymous37971, bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#297
Aug 14, 2017, 05:46 PM
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I'm worried that I have a case of flesh-eating bacteria. I've been worried about it all day. It's driving me crazy. Seriously.
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| bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#298
Aug 14, 2017, 07:13 PM
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Cloudy weather really messes up my mood. I was doing ok the past couple of days, but today I wanted to sleep away the day. I at least got myself to vacuum my dinning room. I hope tomorrow is better, I have an appointment with a new T in the morning. And hopefully my mood stays stable enough where I can go to my support group later in the evening. Tonight, I hope I can get to sleep at a decent hour.
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| bizi, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#299
Aug 14, 2017, 08:02 PM
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Had T this morning. Talked about having anxiety with the next term of school. It seems to be a running thing now. I want to get a two-year degree at least. I already have an Associate's degree, but it's better off being used as toilet paper at this point.
Husband is getting daughter from work. Not sure if the kids will be here tomorrow. I will find out. Mood is weird. Hope it doesn't turn to an episode. That would really suck right now. Next week is my birthday week and we'll be back in school again. |
| bizi, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#300
Aug 14, 2017, 08:13 PM
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Quote:
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
| Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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