slightly annoyedbecause boxing match I wanted to watch on TV yesterday ended up being canceled (I had to watch something else, and something I wasn't really interested in!)

all I have done today is sit here and listen to flute music.

partly because this cd is totally addictive (it really is), but mostly because I litirally have nothing else to do.

I feel envious of hamsters

and ducks

I did put my roast in the oven,

I am having roast chicken with some mint sauce

oh right, yeah. tomorrow morning my mental health worker is coming to talk to me for an hour in the morning about me losing another therapist (still quite hard to accept)

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

I did put my roast in the oven,

I am having roast chicken with some mint sauce

oh right, yeah. tomorrow morning my mental health worker is coming to talk to me for an hour in the morning about me losing another therapist (still quite hard to accept)

I hope your meeting goes well. Good luck.

[Sunflower123]

I've been getting to doctor's appointments, social events, exercise and packing my schedule. I'm also getting things done around the house and am reconnecting with an old flame. I think this is a freaking miracle since I had so much SI and panic about my daughter leaving for college. She's back in town this weekend and is annoyed and angry with the changes I've made. Ok so she told me I was being weird and clingy before and is now indignant that I'm not moping around crying, anxious and suicidal. As for the old flame? According to her he's a jerk and a bum (she's never met him). What is up with this? We call and text everyday and I've been supportive. I love her to death but I don't understand the kid. Shouldn't she be happy and proud of me? I really don't understand. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Nammu]

Prickly and irritatable.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I've been getting to doctor's appointments, social events, exercise and packing my schedule. I'm also getting things done around the house and am reconnecting with an old flame. I think this is a freaking miracle since I had so much SI and panic about my daughter leaving for college. She's back in town and is annoyed and angry with the changes I've made. Ok so she told me I was being weird and clingy before and is now indignant that I'm not moping around crying, anxious and suicidal. As for the old flame? According to her he's a jerk and a bum (she's never met him). What is up with this? We call and text everyday and I've been supportive. I love her to death but I don't understand the kid. Shouldn't she be happy and proud of me? I really don't understand.

Its probably just that she got herself mentally prepared to see you needing her and when she relized you will be ok maybe she thought you no longer needed her?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Its probably just that she got herself mentally prepared to see you needing her and when she relized you will be ok maybe she thought you no longer needed her?

Aaaahhh. I understand. Thank you....I really appreciate it. I will work on ways to show her how much I love and need her.

[Guiness187055]

Witnessed two accidents within 24 hours. Nobody was hurt in either of them.

[bizi]

The brunch was delicious!
They call it farm to table, everything from scratch!
waffle pieces with fig, cayene pepper chutney
stuffed jalepeno pepper with feta and pork
Roasted okra
green gaspacho or bone broth
warm humus with a falafal bite to eat.
squash smoothered with pork
green baby loofa sponge...different and taste like squash.
Shrimp over cos cos
It was all delicious!
I also had some mimosas made with Kombuchi and limonelli and champagne
very good.
walked around the lake to see the small chapel it was lovely.
The home was interesting. Lots of collectables.
Antiques were plentiful and I enjoyed the old medicine bottles in the bath room.
It would be a really special place to have a party or wedding under the huge live oak trees looking over the water.
I asked the man who owns the home, he doesn't live there but lives in the blue house next door. He said he would rent it for $250. hmmm
something to think about and I told my friend erika about it she is looking for wedding venues for next year.
I contacted my friend who is mad at me. Asked her if she wanted to do dinner tonight.
Have not heard from her....sigh
So I wrote a letter to her.....
bizi

[Naynay99]

Hey. Well I didn't sleep well again last night but still managed to get up to meet my friend and her kids and relative to go to a lake and waterpRk. I had a good time, though I do feel a bit of a third wheel when everyone else has kids and/or a significant other but me.

I even went on a few water slides which was fun. I might have gone on more rides but wasn't feeling great and the hills you had to climb to get up to the top were a *****h. I hate that my bad foot plus my being out of shape are affecting me from easily doing what I want. It's frustrating and mkes me feel like crap that while trying to deal with my fuucked up brain I totally neglected taking better care of my body I'm trying to lose weight and exercise more but it sometimes feels futile.

Anywaay I am off to make stuffed zuccchini for dinner. Have a great evening everyone.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Prickly and irritatable.

I am sorry.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[fishin fool]

Up and down, up and down.

[hopeless2015]

Had a pretty good weekend. I ended up sleeping a lot this afternoon. Went to Texas Roadhouse for lunch, did a load of laundry and slept. Don't feel depressed though

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by fishin fool

Up and down, up and down.

It's good to hear from you.
Sorry you are riding the rollercoaster.
I hope things stabilize soon.

WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Finished half of my poetry essay. Will write the rest tomorrow around T and errands. My orientation assignments aren't that bad, thank goodness. I'll be in good shape.

Have to check to make sure we have enough sedative for the cats' vet visit on Wednesday. Both cats will need it.

[Altarian]

Been 19 days since i was last on here. I had to walk away from everyone and thing for a while other than those in living color aka in the real world and not online. I wish i could say things have been good but that would only be half truth. It's been 10 days of the 17 that my kids will be with their grandparents. in that time they have contacted my wife a few times but i've not heard from them since 21st. it hurts to be honest about it. just strengthen my feeling that i'm just part of the scenery unless they want something that they know their mother won't do for them. been 2 weeks since i last spoke with my therapist and i'm not sure if i'll see him this week or not because i have a job interview that i'll probably end up blowing on the same day. To be honest i'm really questioning things right now. No i'm not suicidal just wondering what the point of it all is anymore.

[xRavenx]

Although I kept waking up, I was able to get about 8 hours of sleep, which was good. I am glad that I do not have any doctor's appointments tomorrow, which is such a relief. I am still feeling depressed and anxious, but not as bad as yesterday. Klonopin has given me a bit of relief. The main issues still remain though, and I know something needs to be done regarding my meds and learning how to cope and not constantly criticize myself/beat myself up. It's really hard though, since it's such a pattern. I heard from a friend who is really depressed, and I wish I could help him better. It hurts to see friends suffering and not be able to do much about it.

[porcelainboy]

Now I remember why I don't leave the house anymore.
I went out for the first time in two weeks this afternoon with my grandma and my mom. We had a nice lunch and decided to go to the mall afterward for a short trip.

The mall was hell. My anxiety goes up when I'm in public, so naturally the amount of tics I have also goes up. I was exhausted within 15 minutes of entering the mall, dragging my feet, barely able to keep my eyes open and drenched in sweat by the time we got out. I calmed down some after a while of driving home and eventually when we got home I was able to take a nap to recover from it, but naps after public tic fits are the worst. You can't wake up feeling rested after those, but it's better than forcing yourself to stay awake when your mind is completely wiped out.

Needless to say I won't be going anywhere again any time soon if I can help it.

[gina_re]

Initially ignored a call from my mom only to call back to be told my sister and nephews were over there. I jumped in the shower so fast to get there. The first shower in five days. I love those little guys. They're seriously my reason for living.

[bizi]

I am glad that you have them to get you into the shower!

seeing my mental health worker today.

going to tell her that I've lost another therapist, and that yet again I have to change meds.

it will be nice to see her, even if it is just a flying visit.

she is very busy this week, so it's nice she made the effert to come see me

[scatterbrained04]

Had an employee text me yesterday afternoon being all huffy, and my anxiety has been high ever since. Wasn't anything that couldn't have waited until business hours. I almost need to learn to turn my phone off on weekends.

[bizi]

Wrote a letter of apology to a friend of mine for being insensitive to her needs. Hubby is gone with a friend to colorado, he will be back tomorrow night.
I am having an early lunch with this friend, thinking now that I will just give her this letter.
I see my therapist this morning. Perhaps I can talk about this with her???
Then I am having dinner with an acquaintance tonight that I met at whole foods bar. We have been friendly off and on for a while. She Hs the prettiest long curly bright purple hair!
She is a baker for whole foods and does artzy cakes on the side.
She does beautiful wedding cakes!

have a good day yall!
bizi

[hopeless2015]

The weekend went by way to fast and were back starting another week. I managed to get up and in to work on time. The depression seems to be at bay right now and I'm thankful for that. Hugs to everyone!!

[Guiness187055]

Just came back from my GP. Didn't really do much to help my back just is sending me to a pain clinic. Loads of fun that is going to be. Excited to see my Pdoc tomorrow and let him know we have a winning combination on the psych meds.