[boogiesmash]

I don't think I ever was. I'm not good enough now to have a girlfriend, not good enough to own a house, not good enough to take care of myself. Just not good enough period.

[wildflowerchild25]

https://psychcentral.com/lib/challen...ive-self-talk/

Negative Self-Talk: 9 Ways To Silence Your Inner Critic | HuffPost

[wildflowerchild25]

About the owning the house thing, it's almost impossible these days, especially in New Jersey. I can't even get an apartment, much less a house. I'll be living with my mom for the foreseeable future. At least you have your own place.

I don't know if the articles I posted will be helpful. I've never tried any of the things on the list. I tend to just stew in my negative self talk as well. But it's worth a try if it will help you feel better about yourself.

[still_crazy]

one thing that's helped me is this catchy 70s slogan..."the personal is political." as wildflowerchild25 pointed out, its hard to get a house where you are living now. a lot of what we think of as our own "personal problems" are rooted in the social and economic realities of the world around us. with me...i realize now that a lot of my "personal problems" when I was younger were rooted in social class issues and homophobia, as they played out in my own life.

i doubt that will have a major, life-changing impact on your situation now, but try to keep that mind as you deal with your day-to-day problems and such. helps me. things you're going through are similar to what a lot of people are going through, and its not all psychological and/or psychiatric; a lot of it rooted in the society we live in, and in the realities of the 21st century US economy.

[Sunflower123]

Are you or can you work with a therapist on your feelings of inadequacy? I believe you are good enough but your negative self talk is doing a number on your self esteem. Sending big hugs.

[5150DirtDiva]

I do not think any of these things are a measure of self worth. They are all social constructs.

Will you never have another relationship? Of course you will meet someone else.

Will you never be able to purchase a house? You cannot be certain of that, and if not, does it really have anything to do with how good you are? No.

Sometimes even neurtypical people find themselves in positions where they cannot care for themselves, it has nothing to do with you being or not being enough and it also is not a permanent situation.

Would you fault another person with a different illness while they are struggling with symptoms? Many illnesses cause people to be unable to have relationships, own houses or care for themselves and we would never call them not good enough.

You are good enough.

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I don't think I ever was. I'm not good enough now to have a girlfriend, not good enough to own a house, not good enough to take care of myself. Just not good enough period.

I have faith you can have all the things you desire in time. From what I've seen, you are good enough and having a house isn't about being good enough anyways. You are good enough, smart enough and well liked (to paraphrase a 90's Saturday Night Live Skit). (((Hugs)))

[hopeless2015]

I agree with everyone else. You are good enough. Sounds like depression and negative self talk doing a number on you right now. Keep working with your therapist. It's hard to change our ways of thinking like this but it can be done. Sending big hugs!

[Naynay99]

Hey. I can relate to the negative self talk but that is the illness talking, not you. What is enough anyway? There is always someone who is gonna make us feel inAdequate when we measure ourselves against them. Please remember that life isn't a race and that a lot of the so called milestones that the world or ourselves may want or expect do not always occur on the time table we would like them to; That doEsnt mean they won't ever happen though.

Also- my friend who is married and was once again arguing with his spouse over something stupid said he was sometimes very jealous of my singleness. And my friend the homeowner who keeps having problems with her roof is envious of me being a renter and not being responsible for fixing it when something goes wrong with my place. So the grass is always greener. Hang in there. Hugs.

[fishin fool]

You and I have had our conversations in the past and I know you are good enough
for anyone or anything. You are a super nice person and that is very hard to find
so you can be very proud of that. As far as home ownership goes don't even give
it another thought. I have owned a home that I had to sell in my divorce and I rent
now and probably will for a long time to come if not permanently.
The thing that I like about renting is the freedom, there are no major expenses
once you move in and it is relatively easy to move if you like.
When you own a home there are so many major expenses that are all on you.
I love New Jersey but as you know it is a very expensive state but keep in mind
there are many reasons for that and you need to take advantage of all the good stuff
we have in this state. As far as a girlfriend goes remember that you are still a young
man and I know for sure that the right girl will come along, they always do.
Please don't feel pressured by the world around us there is so much about it that
is just all wrong. I hope this helps in some way.