[MissCathryn]

I know it isnt her job, but I didn't ask to be this way. I can't hold a relationship, I have alienated many, I am single mom and I struggle every day.

I read that family members even help drug addicted fam member.

I need a ton a dental work. I am in pain on occasion and I will need a partial denture. I am in the process of losing my first fron tooth! I have lost all over my mouth. I have 6 in front. They are heavily filled and wont last much longer. I have explaied this to her. No offer of any help whatsoever! I am not a drug addict. I haven't been in troublw with the law, etc. I am a good mom and do the best I can.

Shouldn't she help? It will cost like $2200. She could very easily afford that. Shouldn't she want to help me? I am not asking for money for something frivlous. It's my teeth.

Thank you for listening. I justwant to knowif I am wrong, and shouldn't exoect some help, or in the same situation, would you feel the same way??

Thank you so much for your opinions. They will really help

That is a difficult situation. If I were wealthy and one of my siblings couldn't afford dental work, I'd pay for it in a heartbeat.

That being said, it's ultimately your teeth, and therefore your responsibility, to come up with the cash. Although it would certainly be a nice gesture from her, she owes you nothing.

I am curious as to why your teeth are in such rough shape as well. If it was a case of you just not taking care of them properly, then that is your fault and you need to take responsibility for that.

My suggestion? Start saving what you are able, and don't expect help from your sibling. I wish you the best.

[newtobipolar]

It's genetic. My dad never took proper care of my teeth. Had many pulled when I was young. I take good care of them for the last 15 years or so, but it's too late

Originally Posted by newtobipolar

It's genetic. My dad never took proper care of my teeth. Had many pulled when I was young. I take good care of them for the last 15 years or so, but it's too late

Sorry, are you the same person as the OP? And if so, why do you have 2 accounts?

[newtobipolar]

I am the same. Accidently made account on my laptop then on my phone. Sorry for the confusion

[5150DirtDiva]

Did you ask for help? I would never ask to pay for something for someone that did not ask. She *may* be oblivious. My brother is poor AF compared to me and I do not give him ****. The times I have, not even a thank you was rendered, our parents raised us with manners. On the same hand, I have no idea what he needs help with. I know he is not a POS, but I am not going to insult him by randomly offering to pay his dental bills.

[*Laurie*]

I fully believe that since your sister has the funds, she should help you out. After all, what is family for?

[Marylin]

My sister wouldn't pay either on account of the fact she hates my guts and worships money.I don't think you should expect your sister to pay but I understand you maybe wishing she would!I don't think it is right though to take money from your sister for your own care,not if she has a husband and family of her own.On the other hand if she has a lot of money and it is for something as sensitive as your teeth then I think it is ok to expect her to help.It also depends on how close you are as sisters and if yours is a loving relationship or not?

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I am curious as to why your teeth are in such rough shape as well. If it was a case of you just not taking care of them properly, then that is your fault and you need to take responsibility for that.

.

This is so shockingly rude. Please lets be kinder to one another than this.

Many of us with MI have dental problems because of our meds or long periods of poverty in which we could not afford dental care. Often times poor dental health is the result of genetics.

Even if the OP had not cared for her teeth, your judgement and unkind statement is really inexcusable.

[gina_re]

IMO she doesn't have to pay for it just because she has the money. Money can come in between family members and lending money can make relationships worse if not paid back. I make double what my sister makes, but I don't feel obligated to help her. I help her when I want to and if I feel the need to. She is a grown woman and can make her own decisions and solve her own problems. She does the best she can with what she has and is content that way. I almost got a personal loan for my mom because she was struggling financially, but at the end of the day, we decided to not do so. We figured that would cause a rift between us and it wasn't worth it. She decided to figure out how to solve the problem herself. Whether or not she has yet, that is not my business. I love my mom more than anything, but sometimes you have to let people take care of themselves. Otherwise they will keep asking because they know you have it. And that is a slippery slope.

Originally Posted by Bea Tiscuit

This is so shockingly rude. Please lets be kinder to one another than this.

Many of us with MI have dental problems because of our meds or long periods of poverty in which we could not afford dental care. Often times poor dental health is the result of genetics.

Even if the OP had not cared for her teeth, your judgement and unkind statement is really inexcusable.

I apologize if it came off as rude, but it is something to keep in mind from the perspective of the sister or anyone else who may decide to help out with the costs. People are less willing to help someone if the cause of the issue was something that could have been avoided.

I truly did not mean to be rude and I apologize to the OP if my curiosity was out of line.

[TheDragon]

Did your sister say why she won't help? I would consider finding out why she wouldn't so I could address that better, especially since you don't have common problems that make people not want to give money such as drug addiction.

P.S. You might want to get one of your accounts deleted or fixed by talking to an admin. Technically it's against the rules to have 2 accounts and I don't want to see you get banned for an innocent mistake.

[5150DirtDiva]

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

I apologize if it came off as rude, but it is something to keep in mind from the perspective of the sister or anyone else who may decide to help out with the costs. People are less willing to help someone if the cause of the issue was something that could have been avoided.

I truly did not mean to be rude and I apologize to the OP if my curiosity was out of line.

This! I think it is worse to think you are entitled to someone's funds just because they are a family member and you perceive that they can just give it to you. THAT is rude.

[Rjaye]

I think the other thing to remember in this situation is that the sister may have financial obligations that prevent her from helping. People hate to talk about money.

Also, perhaps the sister and her husband has a "no lending money to family" policy. She also may think you have access to resources that you haven't accessed yet.

If you haven't, ask her for the money. People can't read minds, and sometimes we have to be very clear about what we need. She still may not give you the money, but then you'll know where you stand with your sister.

[scatterbrained04]

Have you asked your sister for help? If not, she may not even know that you would like her help.

However, I don't see why your sister would be obligated to help?

[Wonderfalls]

My sister is VERY wealthy. She and her husband made a pact that he would help out his family however he wanted and that she would do the same for hers. Unfortunately for us her desire to help out is more limited than his. I'm not asking for myself and my daughter nicely refused money to help out with her student loan--an offer made begrudgingly and at my mother's request. My sister feels it's her money to spend however she wants, which is lavishly on herself. And of course it is. If I had more money I would be genuinely happy to be in a position where I could help my brothers.

I know someone whose brother won Powerball and still refused to help out his sister who was being foreclosed, because he didn't think she had spent her money wisely. That just seems wrong to me. He didn't do anything to earn the lottery. And if he had generosity is a blessing while self-righteousness and selfishness can be cruel.

[glowsinthedark]

I don't think you should feel entitled to financial aid from your sister. However, if help from her is your only option then I would go to her and explain the situation. Tell her you desperately need dental work and you don't have the means and maybe ask her for a loan instead of a gift. But honestly I would only do this if it really truly was my only option, because family + money often don't mix well. I wouldn't do it just because of the fact she *could* pay for it if she felt like doing so.

[Hairball]

I am curious as to what steps u have taken to pay for it yourself. If u are low income there are resources out there. I do have some suggestions if u would like them.

I am also curious if u are wanting money to be gifted to you or loaned to you. I agree with some of the posters that family, and money dealings do not mix.

Personally, I would never ask a family member for money be it for a gift or a loan. I would do everything in my power NOT to ask. But that is me and how I am.

[scatterbrained04]

Not sure if anyone has mentioned this, but I just thought of it. Check with the dental schools in your area. A lot of times you can get dental work done for way cheaper there.

I would outright ask.

[*Laurie*]

I am saddened by how much cold-heartedness there is throughout this thread. People can sure get cruel when money is involved.

[newtobipolar]

The thing is that I've had this mental illness all my life. Aside from my kids, I've been a loser, broke, bad relationships, etc. I didn't ask fo my illness. I've been bursened with it my whole life, therefore my life has been one mess to another with instability, etc.

I'm not a "normal" healthy person that just blows her money away. I work hard, but don't make much. My life has been (aside from my kids) a total mess. I have nothing. I live with my ex bc I can't afford to be on my own.

Considering my life has sucked, I have nothing, and feel like I've been robbed of a good life by my MI.

She knows this. Believe me, she has a lot of money. I see family members give money to relatives that are drug addicts, lazy, alcoholics, etc.
All that I've dealt with in life has been tainted and controlled by my MI. My life has been a total waste. I have nothing but I so the best I can. I'm not some lazy slob.

I'm not asking for money for clothes, or a vacation. It's my teeth. If I lose this front tooth, I don't know what I'll do. Being embarrassed is an understatement. I worry about this all the time. It's just a matter of time.

Why wouldn't she want to help me? She doesn't have any MI at all. Therefore, for her, she has made smart decisions. Went to college, married well, and makes more money than they know what to do with. She spends more on a purse than what my teeth would cost.

I don't even care about the back teeth, just the front teeth. It just hurts me so badly that she won't help.

Sorry for the venting. It just really hurts. She knows how sick I am, and how​ I struggle daily. I would and I so help people whenever I can. I'm fully aware it isn't her job, or she isn't obligated. But, she's my sister, she knows what I've gone through in life. She has means, but just chooses not to help. It really, really hurts

[still_crazy]

im sorry. american culture is...ruthless. cut throat. hyper-individualistic. materialistic. yes, there are some pros to being in america, but i think 21st century american culture really rips alot of us to shreds, and nobody seems to care.

you are more than your mistakes, your labels, your stuff or lack of stuff. you are more than a low wage job or bills or health problems.

i was poor for a while. its a long story. i had a softer poverty than most people (again, long story), but it was always damned if you do, damned if you don't. 'know your place,' that kinda thing. even now, with my somewhat affluent parents taking care of me and all that good stuff, im called 'uppity,' because i was poor for a season.

anyway...i dont know you or your life, and im not going to act as if i do, but i am sorry about your situation. life is rough even on 'normal' people in these united states. factor in severe mental problems, and...things can get really ugly, really fast.

i hope things get better. keep in mind, this is an internet forum, and people will sometimes (often?) write/say things they might keep to themselves if you were actually talking to them/us.

[*Laurie*]

I am so, so sorry newtobipolar. I feel like this thread is full of the kind of stigmatizing that people with mental illness do not need, and are hurt by. I am quite sure that you do the best you can in life. (((HUGS)))

[gina_re]

I hate to be devils advocate, but what's the difference if you take MI out of it? And what discussions have you had with you sister about it?