[Tucson]

I came back home from surgery today. I gained weight on hospital food! Not good at all. My daughter's mother brought me home-made soup. I had already had dinner, but I had a bowl anyways. This made her feel good.

[ck3416849]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Geez!
I'd be so upset if something happened to you!
Please stay safe!
How are you doing today?

WC

Myself I am doing well the meds have a great way of making me sleep

[winter loneliness]

Pretty good day.

[bpforever1]

I had a cervical cancer screening test and a mammogram done and got back my results. They are both negative!! I feel blessed with good health. I am happy. I am doing well. I feel good but do have some joint aches occasionally. Otherwise, life is pretty good. I eat what I want and have not gained too much weight because I walk everywhere. I think the best gift is to be in good health. Since I switched back to brand Abilify, I feel great. Now, I just wish I could do a full-time job. I shall find out soon if I can get a full-time job. If I do, this would be truly a miracle for me. After being homeless and without a good job for a long period of time, I feel life is improving like fine wine. I don't know if the full-time job is worth it, but I will go for it. I am grateful for what I have and the opportunities that are popping up. I never predicted that after being homeless, I would be able to do well again. Of course, the full-time job may be too stressful. I don't know at this point. I will give it my best shot. I am not young but need to survive. I feel that I can finally enjoy what I have in my life. After all I have been through, I'm glad I survived and am still kicking.

[WildcatVet]

Hubby left for work with these words of wisdom: *Try to be happy today.*

Idiot! I try every day. Aww, but he means well........

[Wild Coyote]

Had a fun day yesterday!
It's lovely in the mountains.

Am fatigued today. I usually have a trade-off to consider, trading a fun day for the following day of fatigue. It's worth it.

I just wish I could do more today.

Hugs all around!

WC

[Faltering]

I called today to make an appointment to see a T. I think it's time.

[hopeless2015]

Feeling a little better as the days go by. I'm slowly getting back into routines and getting on track at work. Hugs everyone

[xRavenx]

My anger is really bad. It's self-directed, but also I have anger towards somebody else and life in general. I am crying, I feel like breaking something, I am at the worst point I've been at in a good month. These feelings are so intense. I don't know what to do with myself. It hurts so much.

[wildflowerchild25]

Had a better day today emotionally and a little bit physically. I had another hospital dream last night but it didn't bother me because there was no self injury. Also, now that I know it's about seeking comfort, I was able to figure out that I'm seeking comfort from my physical illness. So I'm not as worried about my mental state.

Going to see a new psychiatrist on Halloween. She only has one review online and it's one star. However, experiences with psychiatrists can be so subjective that I usually take them with a grain of salt. I'll decide for myself when the time comes. I do hope she doesn't mess around with my meds. And I hope she's understanding and doesn't try to hospitalize me at the drop of a hat. Obviously I'm not in crisis right now but if I ever am again I hope she will work with me.

Tomorrow my co-teacher will be out so I will be teaching the class myself! I have been studying hard and I am confident I can do it. I just hope they listen to me!

I am still not really fully better from yesterday.

I can still here in my head the crackle crackle crackle of the fire, and sometimes see a flame pass my eyes.

these things take forever to get better sometimes

fire is such a huge trigger for me. it really is, and I hate the affect it has on me

oh well, the plus side is that I don't feel as empty as I did yesterday, and that I am seeing my mental health worker in like 20 minits to discuss things (mainly my thoughts about the eviction)

I still havon't found a new home to go too, which is kind of worrying.. time's running out

though I hope something will show up sooner rather than later, since I will need time to get my stuff together

[scatterbrained04]

Have had a giant break from anxiety. Finally raised my gabapentin up to where my pdoc said I could, which is 1200mg. Seems to be helping. Still struggling a bit with concentration. Kind of a problem because I keep getting off task at work. And since usually I read a lot, I find myself now struggling with boredom daily.

It's now 7am, both my front office people have called off, so I guess it'll be me doing 3 jobs by myself today...happy Friday!

[WildcatVet]

BORED to tears...nothing to occupy my time today...dangerous because I get to ruminating about past, present, and future...no energy to fight the depression.

not been a bad day.

mental health worker meeting went okay, got through all my 300 emails (so finally caught up!), and may have found a place to move too- which i'm going to look at on monday.

still not showered yet, but i'm going to

tonight my friend tara wants me to do an online quiz with her, so why not.. it sure kills some time

this afternoon while having my shower I broke down and just cried

and shook

and felt really bad

I think it's dawning on me now even more than ever that soon I will be out of here

and tara is now going bowling.

their go my plans for the evening in 1 fail swoop

[Tryingtobehappy5]

Angry that I forgot how to play a song I loved on the keyboard before they took me IP. Think I will skip the risperidone tonight. My eyes never feel good they're blurry and sore and I think its from that. Plus I hate sleeping and all this is doing for me is making me feel like crap. I will stay on the depakote and see how things go.

[bizi]

I am back from my vacation.
Had a great time.
bizi

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am back from my vacation.
Had a great time.
bizi

Welcome back.

Today I finally got sent off a large, old family bible I had in my possession. It used to belong to the 11th governor of Arizona, so I was trying to find a museum that wanted it. That done, I feel accomplished.

[wildflowerchild25]

Teaching went relatively well today. They didn’t take me as seriously as they take the main teacher, story of my life of course. But still, only had to write one student up.

I drank tonight for the first time in two months. Only two glasses of wine though. I’m not supposed to drink on depakote at all because of the liver thing. Maybe it’s self destructive but I just like a glass in wine here and there. At least I didn’t get wasted.

Still hoping to go out tomorrow but we will see. Cough is maybe a little bit better. But I saw that comedian ralphie May died and apparently he died of pneumonia so I’m back to being a little worried. I don’t care about dying for my sake, I fact I would prefer it, but I don’t want my son to be an orphan. So back to the doctor I will go if the cough doesn’t improve significantly in the next couple of weeks.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am back from my vacation.
Had a great time.
bizi

Welcome back!
I have missed you.
Glad you've had fun!


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

this afternoon while having my shower I broke down and just cried

and shook

and felt really bad

I think it's dawning on me now even more than ever that soon I will be out of here

I am very sorry for all you are going through. I hope you find a wonderful place to live on Monday! Please keep us posted. Sending positive vibes and hugs!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Had a very busy day Friday. Fridays are often devoted to my mom and helping her with errands, going to lunch together, etc. This Friday was full of errands. While she continues to await her surgery date (second hip replacement), she needs increasing assistance. I am happy to help; I just get tired and into pain.

I hope everyone has a great Saturday!


WC

[bpforever1]

I feel good but was apathetic for a day. Today I go out and eat sushi. One of my students wants me to meet a sushi chef stating he is single. hahahahaa I'm not expecting much and only expect to eat good sushi. I had another student wanting me to go to her brother's sax concert. She keeps talking about him to me. However, I hope I don't seem desperate. I may be single but not that interested in being set up with men. But, I just go along and try to be a good sport. I am doing ok. I was feeling apathetic from sleeping too much. I felt like blah. But, today I go out and feel well. I have an interview next week and am taking it one day at a time. Life is beautiful! Sun is nice. The weather is becoming cooler but it is still nice.

at this current moment, I am debating if I am going to watch the next episode of something I have been watching.

the last episode was quite triggering (well not the entire episode, just like the last 5 minits), so I am debating on it.

I think i'll be okay, I mean as long as they don't flashback to the time this thing happened, I should be fine