[BeyondtheRainbow]

Depression has hit hard the last week or so. I want to do nothing but sleep. I've been out of groceries for days and too tired to go to the store. I've only been getting dressed when I have to leave the house. And yet I'm also feeling the edge of mixed crap starting too.

My pdoc increased my AD, which means I'm at the max dose for it. I'm also supposed to start using my SAD lamp. I also have permission to increase my AP if I get mixed since that seems like a real risk and reaching my pdoc twice in a short time is hard.

I just want to go to sleep but if I do now I'll wake up and not be able to get back to sleep in the middle of the night.

Hate this.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m so sorry you’re depressed! It’s ********. I really hope the AD helps.

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. ((((Hugs))))

[Victoria'smom]

I'm glad you talked to your pdoc. Hopefully the Emsam works fast for you.

[Polibeth]

I'm sorry you are fighting depression. Hopefully the med changes work and you are fortunate you can email your pdoc!

I know you have a couple of kittens (because I got my two about the same time you did) - does snuggling/playing with them help at all? I've gotten a lot of better mental health loving on my kitties.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Yes, being able to email my pdoc is really good. She only sees patients part-time and teaches the rest so she is really hard to track down and if it weren't for email I wouldn't get help between visits when I often need it because I rapid cycle.

My kittens do help but they also take energy to care for them, do their litter, keep them out of trouble, etc. And sometimes they wear me out watching them. It's getting closer to when I lost my cats last year and I think that's part of why I'm depressed; I'm sad. I keep calling one of the kittens by the name of one of the cats who died and then that makes me sad. But I'm so glad I have them; much better than not.

Please go get yourself something to eat. I find ice cream helps when I’m extremely depressed. It helps get me to the store. Also some chicken noodle soup. Do you have a store that has a hot food bar?

You need to get some food in you!

Where are you, Rainbow??

How are you doing?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm here. I was away at my therapist's and then I got some food. Then I came home and walked the dogs (because someone had to) and now I'm in my pajamas hoping to rest this evening because I'm really tired.

I made my food situation sound worse than it was. Sorry. I had some pasta, oatmeal and some other things so it wasn't like I was starving, I just didn't have a lot of choices, didn't feel up to cooking and was out of the things I usually do to make things easy. But now I have groceries and my mom gave me a big bowl of chicken chili that will last me for days. Usually I eat at her house most nights and I haven't been lately so that is not helping; I feel isolated and I am suddenly responsible for meals when I don't feel like cooking and don't have many meal options anyway.

But my therapist helped and my increased AD should start to work in a few more days hopefully. I still feel like crap but I did get up in time to see my therapist and I did go to the store so that was 2 huge goals met for today.

Oh, I’m glad you’ve gotten around, got some food, and saw the doc. I hope you’re feeling better soon!

[Victoria'smom]

Feel better soon. How was therapy?

[Cocosurviving]

Hello there —I really hate your dealing with depression. When I’m in it I try self-care and coping skills. Music, walks, hot bath and aroma therapy. I know first hand just getting out of bed and a shower is hard. I hope the AD helps. ((((Hugs))))

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Feel better soon. How was therapy?

Therapy helped but I wish I could see him again this week. I didn't ask because he was off yesterday and I knew he wouldn't have time. But what we've been talking about it part of what caused this and there's just a lot more to say I did not say the thing I planned to bring up and I just could use some extra support this week. But next week if I need it I'm sure we can work it out. And days I don't have therapy I can sleep more so there's that--all I like doing is sleeping it seems. Hopefully the Emsam and SAD lamp will work quickly and things will be better fast. I'm not ready to go through a big depression right now.

[hopeless2015]

Sending big hugs your way!!