[boogiesmash]

Just wanted to vent

[boogiesmash]

I want to have someone to smile for. Someone to cook for, someone to share adventures with, someone I can be compatible. Maybe someone who can save me from this lonely life.

[Standup2me]

If you were not so far away, I would be knocking on your doorstep

[~Christina]

I’m so sorry your feeling so very low, things will improve do your IOP .

Take it day by day

((((( hugs ))))))

[boogiesmash]

That special someone. I’d treat her right. Take her to nyc see the tree. Have fun cooking with her. Laugh and have dinner parties with friends. Make sure she is happy, and c9ntent. Have snowball fights. Go skiing and spend weekend in one of those ski resorts. See little town Christmas setups. Spend New Years with friends and watch the ball drop. Start the new year with a kiss. Have a nice birthday dinner at a Brazilian restaurant. For the first time in my thirties have a birthday cake. Watch shows next weekend or go t9 the casinos.
Take her to a ski resort on Valentine’s Day weekend. Maybe have a compani9n for Thailand.
Sail James Bond island with her 8n my arms for a nice picture.

Things that go through my head. Thinking of this and can’t sleep. Even took an ambien and have been anxious just took a klonopin. This continues gonna have to stay up.

[Slightlydelusional]

Boogie, I get hella lonely too, I havent dated in 5 years and before that I didnt have a problem in that department. But now I realize I must really work on myself to get to the place where I could date at all. Since Im taking the steps now to take care of myself, Im hoping in a year or two Ill be able to take that step out there.

I think if u started to focus on getting healthy and the best version of u that u wont seem as lonely as you will be engaged on getting better.

Just think if u got the kung fu or other things you do to get in shape in 3 months or so n u could be ready in no time. I know your back is jacked up, hope that is better and can do things as u seem like if u got going you could get much stronger both physically n mentally.

[boogiesmash]

Back is good. I just don’t want to be alone. Not for the holidays. I miss having someone at my side.

[winter loneliness]

I haven't dated or had a bf for 8 yrs.I am lonely as well. Where can you meet nice, normal people?

[SorryShaped]

I'm not sure there are many nice people out there. I know feeling lonely far too well myself. I was married and still lonely. I'm lonely now. Somebody finds out how low I am and they're just interested in exploiting it. I don't want to go to bars because I don't want to drink. I don't go to church because I don't share that belief. I don't trust dating sites because they're full of predatory people. I don't look at the gym much because I don't want to ruin the gym. So where do I find that one special girl? I don't. The only answer I can come up with is that I won't. I relinquish my desire for another, regardless of how I feel. People mostly suck and will just hurt me more.

[Teddy Bear]

I'm alone too boogie

[Sunflower123]

I wish you the best of luck in finding someone worthy of your time and attention.

[SorryShaped]

I hope everyone does, but every time I've gotten at all involved it's been with terrible people. I'm broken to the point of no return. I feel that is the case. If I want to be with someone, I'll have to go without me.

[Slightlydelusional]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Back is good. I just don’t want to be alone. Not for the holidays. I miss having someone at my side.

Good your back is better and hope u can find what u are looking for.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I hope everyone does, but every time I've gotten at all involved it's been with terrible people. I'm broken to the point of no return. I feel that is the case. If I want to be with someone, I'll have to go without me.

I’m not actually looking. I got out of a stressful 20 year marriage some years back and prefer to be alone. Murphy’s law, opportunities abound when you’re not looking. I’m sorry you keep running into terrible people. Don’t give up. There’s somebody out there.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m not actually looking. I got out of a stressful 20 year marriage some years back and prefer to be alone. Murphy’s law, opportunities abound when you’re not looking. I’m sorry you keep running into terrible people. Don’t give up. There’s somebody out there.

Mine ended in February but I knew it was over in December. It was 19 years married and almost 2 live-in, with on and off for almost 3 before. I fell in love with her kids more than her. Before her was a constant cheater in highschool. What is a healthy relationship? I really don't know. New topic being created in a sec.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m not actually looking. I got out of a stressful 20 year marriage some years back and prefer to be alone. Murphy’s law, opportunities abound when you’re not looking. I’m sorry you keep running into terrible people. Don’t give up. There’s somebody out there.

I’m so sorry

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Mine ended in February but I knew it was over in December. It was 19 years married and almost 2 live-in, with on and off for almost 3 before. I fell in love with her kids more than her. Before her was a constant cheater in highschool. What is a healthy relationship? I really don't know. New topic being created in a sec.

I’m so sorry man. I saw some of your posts in other forum.

[SorryShaped]

Boogie, with all your compassion, you'll make someone's perfect companion someday.
Thus year's holidays gotta be better than last, where I was in the hospital

[raspberrytorte]

Have you thought about making your own cake for your birthday? I do that every year for my birthday. It's fun.

Hugs, boogie.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Boogie, with all your compassion, you'll make someone's perfect companion someday.
Thus year's holidays gotta be better than last, where I was in the hospital

I’m sorry to hear that. I had my sui attempt on New Year’s Eve day 2013

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Have you thought about making your own cake for your birthday? I do that every year for my birthday. It's fun.

Hugs, boogie.

I’m a horrible baker and I would like to share it.

[boogiesmash]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Boogie, with all your compassion, you'll make someone's perfect companion someday.
Thus year's holidays gotta be better than last, where I was in the hospital

I hope soon.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

I’m sorry to hear that. I had my sui attempt on New Year’s Eve day 2013

I've attempted over 14 times throughout my life, only 3 before I met my ex, and all 3 of those were in the last half of my senior year of highschool. I was hospitalized at time, but not because of an attempt, because I never anyone. The hospital released me with no diagnosis and no treatment plan and said that "anything that happened here, you did it yourself." That was in reference to my mood changes. Apparently they did not know bipolar over the month that I was there. I was mixed mood into severe depression and then hitting manic, which would explain my cheerfulness.
My ex pushed buttons several times until I thought it was my only choice. Two had nothing to do with her during that relationship. But 9 times she really shoved me over the edge.
Last Christmas was still the best Christmas I've ever had. I was not in a place I could give or receive gifts. I didn't have to worry about money or anything. It was what it should be, showing caring for others. I'll never forget feeling like I mattered and knowing that even though I have a long way to go, I can find happiness someday.
Even in my lowest this year, I'm still a long way better than I've been in over 3 decades

[boogiesmash]

Feeling you mattered is important.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by boogiesmash

Feeling you mattered is important.

I mattered, not money, for once. I'm still friends with some of my fellow patients from then.
I'd seen Christmas as dollar signs for everyone since I was about 6, when I was given a small amount of money and had to stretch it to all those I wanted presents for. I remember doing the math inside Kmart, pencil on paper, and planning the tax too and thinking, "I thought there was supposed to be something more than this to it."
And although I'm not at all a biblical religion or committed to any religion, there's much more. I refuse to give another Christmas present. I will instead tell each person I see that I love them and am grateful for them.