poor judgement: a bipolar symptom or character flaw

a couple weeks ago i posted a thread about ranking ranking your worst symptoms, but it didn't occur to me to include my frequent bouts of poor judgement, which have caused so much trouble in my life especially recently.

If anyone else has experienced this, do you chaulk it up to a symptom of bipolar or do you look at it as a flaw in your character. I think most people who don't have mental illness take it as the latter because judgement and decision making is such an integral part of how we define ourselves and how others see us too.

I make impulsive and stupid decisions. Bipolar? Borderline? Personality? Who knows but it sucks.

Being on his ability for a long time has affected me mentally. I now can make many more bad decisions. So I do not think it has to be a personality flaw.

Bad judgement can be related to the disorder. Being either depressed or hypo/manic can effect your ability to make sound judgements. If you have the psychotic features, that can throw in an extra monkey wrench to boot.

I've seen it as a character flaw -- I wasn't always like this to begin with. Perhaps I was, without means to act. It's only recently I've been able to really look back and see where I've made impulsive, crazy and dangerous decisions based on either sadness or an elated moment. I take ownership for my mistakes, I don't relate it to my illness.

My mistakes and poor judgement are of my own doing, I won't blame it on a disorder -- but at the same time, we are talking about the mind. Is it not rational to think that a mental illness is the root of behavior? It's all interconnected and gets a bit convoluted for me.

I've learned the hard way I can't go without meds. That in part should tell me it's in part something other than a character flaw, but it's hard to see it as such.

I hope that made sense -- my thoughts all feel disconnected today. I'm in short trying to say I agree with you and internalize the mistakes and issues as a personality flaw, rather than my illness.

I say character flaw

Interesting question. In theory I would say it's probably at least partly a symptom of the disorder bc often sound minded people experience poor judgement and decision making only when in the midst of an episode. More than a negative personality trait.

But if I were to be completely honest, I think that at least when it comes to myself, I see all of my bad behaviors associated with this mood disorder as character flaws... whether caused by a disorder or not, I take full responsibility and ownership for every stupid thing I have ever done. When depressed I probably would take Credit for the dumb stuff other people did too though, so my thoughts aren't necessarily very rational or logical. Idk.

I don't like the term "character flaw". It implies there is something wrong with us. Everyone makes mistakes, some of us more than others, but they do not define us. I just don't want anyone to walk away from this feeling bad about themselves.

I see your point. On the other hand when i consider the consequences of some of my decisions, harmful consequences, i feel the need to come to terms with it somehow. And face it in a frank and honest way.

I was simply asking a question, not deciding the answer for any other person.

Oh I know! It just made me feel a little sad. I can be really hard on myself.

Well that is one thing we have in common. Hugs...

I've wondered this myself: whether it's a personality/character flaw, or if it is the Bipolar. When my pdoc was getting to know me, she wanted me to answer this for her since she said some people just simply "aren't good at making decisions." My bad decisions tend to be surrounding my vices: spending, sex, poor relationship choices, sometimes substances/alcohol, and generally reckless behavior when I am manic and impulsive. Some of this stuff sounds similar to Borderline, but we've ruled that out, and I can't relate to it entirely. My stuff is not routed in abandonment, the way it tends to be in Borderline Personality. Mine tends to be during mania/hypomania/mixed mania. Sometimes I get psychosis at the same time.

When I am more stable, I at least have more insight into my decisions, even if I do continue to make some that aren't that good. I tend to have good judgment when I am working, so I think I have certain patterns that behaviors that come out when I am unstable. The fact that some of my bad decisions follow themes and tend to be during bad episodes, leads me to believe it's mostly symptomatic for me and Bipolar episode-related.

I make impulsive stupid decisions all the time I chalk it up to the disease

This was the point I was trying to make with my post. If you are making poor judgments, while under the influence of a hpyo/manic/depression episode, that has more to do with bipolar. On other hand, if you are making the same pattern of poor decisions when asymptomatic, then you might want to re evaluate your decision making skills. However, I agree with other people on here. "Character flaw" is a bit of a loaded term. Sometimes, if someone really isn't good at making decisions, even if not related to MI, the best thing they can do is learn from their past mistakes, and try to better themselves. Making bad choices in relationships etc is a world of difference from being a bad person, and we all make mistakes. It's what we teach ourselves from those mistakes that counts.

Hmmm...I am very impulsive as well, never thinking about the consequences of my actions. You'd think I'd have learned by now (I turned 48 this week!) but I don't recognize it when it happens, only much later. I don't know if this is a symptom of bipolar disorder or not. I just always assumed it was my personality. Somehow it all works out OK, in the end.

I feel like I am being judged for using a common term to describe one possible explanation for poor judgement. (if it is hurtful to use the word 'poor' as well, then there is really no way to even discuss the matter).

I changed the title of the thread from 'character flaw' for 'poor judgement', which is a very common association and not one I invented, to 'character anomaly', which is not a common expression at all but seems less likely to incur judgemental responses, but there is still the word 'poor' in front of judgement, and that could also be a 'loaded term'...

I feel like I've stumbled into a tangle of political correctness, but really the whole point is that people with poor judgement are judged harshly by and large by society, their friends and family and often by themselves. I don't see any way to escape that predicament. Is it painful to talk about painful matters?

During my last episode I ended up getting into legal trouble for the first time in my life.

I've also had a history of making poor choices of who I got involved with even before my bipolar manifested itself in my 40s but I would call that less poor judgement than the kind of situation I am facing now.

Of course there are degrees of poor choices and I do feel I've been astonishingly poor at learning from mistakes and further that my decision making has gotten worse over time rather than better.

Also as a personal matter, I've noticed that my poor decision from episodes leaks into whatever sense of normalcy I have left. Now I wonder about all my decision making.

I am very sorry if I made you feel judged. I didn't mean it that way. I was feeling a little upset thinking that I'm a terrible person who makes bad decisions. That was all on me and not on you. I'm a bleeding heart and try to make sure no one feels bad, including you. I am sorry.

Oh, TheSadGirl, it wasn't your post, it was several posts pointing to the same issue after the point where I couldn't edit the title of the whole thread, unless I wrote to a mod. Also I didn't pick the title to be judgemental, I picked it because I think it is a dichotomy that many people can relate to.

It was the drumbeat of criticism for the title that got to me, not your post.

I know everyone means well, I just ended up taking it on the chin again. Not even a post here can be accepted to talk about what is actually on my mind without having to choose words so carefully it becomes impossible to thread a fine line. I mean no one is thinking about my situation and why I would choose that expression when they criticize.

You're right. I didn't think about your situation. I took it personally. I have a history of stupid choices, some which flat out I've been told are bipolar/bpd related. Never the less I spend a lot of time contemplating where my mental illness ends and I begin. It's touchy for me.

You seem like a kind and considerate person and I wanted to thank you for sharing. I'm in a similar boat, I do spend a lot of time wondering if there is really a me underneath all this mess that is a functional adult capable of making good decisions... what is me vs. what is the illness and how it may become impossible after time to separate the two.

Thank you for reaching out TheSadGirl. That means a lot to me.

You sound a bit like me in this sense. I don’t want anyone to feel bad either. I don’t like the term “character flaw” either, I don’t think it helps me to change if a professional, for example, used that term about me. This is an interesting thread! As I can’t take meds I enjoy threads with discussions about other topics related to MI/mental health issues.

I’m not criticising anyone in this thread, in fact it helped me as some professionals in real life misdiagnosed me and were not supportive

I can also relate to being so careful about words that sometimes I say nothing

Thanks to all in this thread for sharing

Every person walking this earth makes decisions that arent always so great whether having a MI or not...

I know I have made a ton... I dont think its either a flaw or Bipolar .. but a combination of a life...

jmho

if you google 'poor judgement' and bipolar you get article after article attesting to a connection. That doesn't mean that such a connection exists. All those people who wrote all those articles might not have anything of relevance to say. It could all be nonsense, but for myself i see a connection but it is very hard to say something as fundamental as poor judgement and impulsivity is not a personality fault when one has paid hefty prices and the decision making did not seem to improve.

Well I am obviously hoping i have hit rock bottom now... and the only way is up.

Oh, I wasn't judging you. I was just trying to point out that the term "character flaw" generally has negative connotations. It was neither meant to be a judgmental critique nor a complaint for political correctness. I'm sorry, if that's how I am came across.

Well when it gets 'pointed out' multiple times in the same thread, at some point it appears to be more than just that.