[BlessedRhiannon]

Hi - kinda new here. I'm not new to the psychcentral boards, but also haven't posted in over a year and i don't think I've ever posted in the bipolar board.

Anyway - I'm struggling with a mixed state right now and just need some support from people that actually understand what that is like. My therapist and psychiatrist are great, and they empathize, but they don't totally get it. My friends are awesome and supportive, but I have to spend too much time explaining things. My family...well, the less said on that front the better...they just don't even try to understand.

Mixed states just suck! My brain and body can't decide whether to be revved up or exhausted or both at the same time. I'm not sleeping well, even though my psychiatrist has had me increase meds to help with that. I'm super irritable and angry at the world. My motivation is non-existent and that is stressing me out because I'm trying to complete a degree program, I only have two classes left, and I can't seem to start the work for them! I'm feeling super impulsive. My therapist is rightly concerned about me and has asked me to check in with a daily voicemail, which is annoying the hell out of me (and I so appreciate it at the same time). I just wish things didn't suck so much right now. For me, mixed is the worst - I mean, yeah, depressive and manic moods are frustrating, but I at least understand them and know what to expect. When I'm mixed, I never know what to expect and that just stresses me out and makes things even worse.

[Aliceiw]

I can relate to a similar sensation and it is extremely irritating, I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. I can also relate to battling this disorder while trying to pursue higher education. It's a challenge to stay properly motivated in any state really, but the correct medication and support does wonders. What medications are you taking if you don't mind me asking? Sometimes certain ones are known for causing bad interactions. For example, some antidepressants mixed in can definitely contribute. I know Abilify also caused me similar agitation. It may be that you are having effects of a specific interaction that worsens your symptoms.

Sometimes I find fast pacing, rocking, and appropriate music to be therapeutic in these times.

Sending support your way, if you need to talk feel free to reach out, many of us are more than willing to be a sounding board.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by Aliceiw

I can relate to a similar sensation and it is extremely irritating, I'm sorry that you are going through this right now. I can also relate to battling this disorder while trying to pursue higher education. It's a challenge to stay properly motivated in any state really, but the correct medication and support does wonders. What medications are you taking if you don't mind me asking? Sometimes certain ones are known for causing bad interactions. For example, some antidepressants mixed in can definitely contribute. I know Abilify also caused me similar agitation. It may be that you are having effects of a specific interaction that worsens your symptoms.

Sometimes I find fast pacing, rocking, and appropriate music to be therapeutic in these times.

Sending support your way, if you need to talk feel free to reach out, many of us are more than willing to be a sounding board.

Thanks for the words of support.

My pdoc has me steering far away from antidepressants - I don't handle them well at all. I've actually been doing really well on my meds, haven't had an episode in months and then it was very mild. My last really bad episode was last year around this time. I think a huge trigger for me is the holidays and the weather change. Just 'cuz you asked, I take Vraylar, Lamictal, and Seroquel.

Today kinda sucks. I just want to sleep. I didn't sleep well last night. I have tons of things to do today and have zero motivation to do them, plus I just feel too distracted. I have to socialize with people and they are all just annoying the hell out of me. I feel like a raw nerve and I hate the feeling.

My one goal for today is to spend just one hour working on coursework for my degree.

[~Christina]

Mixed to me is hell on earth !!! Hate Hate Hate it

Im glad you have a good Pdoc and T .. that can make a world of difference.

I hope you have a soft landing, Hang in there.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm sorry you are having a mixed episode. When I was having a bad one several years ago my pdoc told me that it is the worst experience she sees her patients go through. It is just miserable and I hope something helps soon.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Mixed to me is hell on earth !!! Hate Hate Hate it

Im glad you have a good Pdoc and T .. that can make a world of difference.

I hope you have a soft landing, Hang in there.

Thank you. My T and I talked tonight, I had left her a voicemail just updating her and she called me back because she said I sounded "shakey" on the phone. She talked to me and we composed an email to my pdoc about what's going on. Between them, I know I'll get through this one, but it still sucks.

[glennk]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Thanks for the words of support.

My pdoc has me steering far away from antidepressants - I don't handle them well at all. I've actually been doing really well on my meds, haven't had an episode in months and then it was very mild. My last really bad episode was last year around this time. I think a huge trigger for me is the holidays and the weather change. Just 'cuz you asked, I take Vraylar, Lamictal, and Seroquel.

Today kinda sucks. I just want to sleep. I didn't sleep well last night. I have tons of things to do today and have zero motivation to do them, plus I just feel too distracted. I have to socialize with people and they are all just annoying the hell out of me. I feel like a raw nerve and I hate the feeling.

My one goal for today is to spend just one hour working on coursework for my degree.

How are you liking Vraylar? I'm on a cocktail (including Latuda, Seroquel, Lithium) for my mixed moods and may need to drop Latuda.

[xRavenx]

So sorry you're in a mixed episode. It is such a dark state of mind to be in.

I am in a mixed episode as well, and you described it well when you said you can't decide whether to be "revved up" or exhausted. I am on Seroquel, Lamictal, Klonopin, and Gabapentin currently. They were helping, but no longer.

Have you had any major life stresors? I was already starting to feel mixed, and then when a major life trigger occurred, it threw me into a tailspin. Even without triggers, I've had multiple mixed episodes. I wish I had good advice. Just keep reaching out for support, stay connected with your pdoc, self-care the most that you are capable of.
Feel free to message me, if you feel you need to talk, or keep posting.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by glennk

How are you liking Vraylar? I'm on a cocktail (including Latuda, Seroquel, Lithium) for my mixed moods and may need to drop Latuda.

I LOVE Vraylar. I've had zero side effects, and it's kept me relatively stable for over a year. I had one very short manic episode and one very short depressive episode, both lasting about a week and both were very mild. This mixed state is so mild compared to what I experienced last year. It still sucks, yes, but it's not nearly as intense as I usually experience. Also, and this is huge, my suicidal thoughts have dramatically decreased on Vraylar. Can't say enough good things about it.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

Have you had any major life stresors? I was already starting to feel mixed, and then when a major life trigger occurred, it threw me into a tailspin. Even without triggers, I've had multiple mixed episodes.

I think I was already headed for a mixed state a few weeks ago. My T asked me if I was mixed a few weeks ago and I didn't think I was, but now I think it might have been starting then. I haven't had any major stressors, but lots of little ones that kinda felt big. I think the culmination of all the little stressors has thrown me a bit. I really struggle with Christmas, major stressor there, so maybe this is in anticipation of that too.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Resurrecting this thread to say that with the help of my p-doc, I'm finally coming out of my mixed state. This one lasted almost a month, which totally sucks, but it was more mild than some have been, so that's something. I ended up having to go on Sonata for sleep, but that has helped me get my sleep regulated, which helped to drastically improve my symptoms.

Thanks for the support y'all offered.

[taybaby]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

Resurrecting this thread to say that with the help of my p-doc, I'm finally coming out of my mixed state. This one lasted almost a month, which totally sucks, but it was more mild than some have been, so that's something. I ended up having to go on Sonata for sleep, but that has helped me get my sleep regulated, which helped to drastically improve my symptoms.

Thanks for the support y'all offered.

It's encouraging to hear that you are feeling better and out of it!

[tsrc78]

I’m so glad you are improving! Mixed states are pure hell. I am very prone to them and most people just don’t understand how devastating they can be. Any improvement is definitely a good thing.