[jtassar93]

Why do I get extra depressed the later it gets? I’m usually home alone all day everyday and I’m fine with that. Just my normal depression but I’m not lonely. Onc it hits like 3am I get extremely depressed about anything and everything. One tiny thing will set me off. I would be just fine and then bam. I wake up feeling better but then it starts again.

Also I’ve been talking to someone I met in high school lately and got a little close. But I’m just over the whole thing? I don’t want to be his friend anymore. I don’t know why I feel that way. I want more than anything to have 1 or 2 great friends but I do this? I just texted him that I don’t want to talk to him anymore and I don’t have any feelings about it. I’m not sad or feel guilty .. is that wrong?

[99fairies]

do what you have to do... but my feelings would be quite hurt if I was him.

[jtassar93]

WEll of course his feelings would be hurt. I feel nothing. That’s why I’m asking if anyone else has gone through the same thing...

[jtassar93]

........,,,,,

[~Christina]

Are you back on any of your meds yet?

[99fairies]

I'm sorry my post offended you. Yes I have felt no remorse at times as well.

[kirsten.dittmann]

Originally Posted by jtassar93

Why do I get extra depressed the later it gets? I’m usually home alone all day everyday and I’m fine with that. Just my normal depression but I’m not lonely. Onc it hits like 3am I get extremely depressed about anything and everything. One tiny thing will set me off. I would be just fine and then bam. I wake up feeling better but then it starts again.

Also I’ve been talking to someone I met in high school lately and got a little close. But I’m just over the whole thing? I don’t want to be his friend anymore. I don’t know why I feel that way. I want more than anything to have 1 or 2 great friends but I do this? I just texted him that I don’t want to talk to him anymore and I don’t have any feelings about it. I’m not sad or feel guilty .. is that wrong?

I get like that too. But mine starts at 5-6 pm.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by jtassar93

Why do I get extra depressed the later it gets? I’m usually home alone all day everyday and I’m fine with that. Just my normal depression but I’m not lonely. Onc it hits like 3am I get extremely depressed about anything and everything. One tiny thing will set me off. I would be just fine and then bam. I wake up feeling better but then it starts again.


Also I’ve been talking to someone I met in high school lately and got a little close. But I’m just over the whole thing? I don’t want to be his friend anymore. I don’t know why I feel that way. I want more than anything to have 1 or 2 great friends but I do this? I just texted him that I don’t want to talk to him anymore and I don’t have any feelings about it. I’m not sad or feel guilty .. is that wrong?

I too push people away when they get too close, it’s a defense mechanism for me. Getting close is way too scary and uncomfortable, pushing them away is easier than fearing & expecting their rejection. And yes, I can and have cut people off without a second thought or a hint of remorse, usually for good reason.... Well according to me at least.

Nothing to do with BP tho, I have a comorbid BPD dx, which is what causes these types of upheavals in my personal life.

I also have noticed that when my moods are reactionary, it’s usually 9/10 times not my BP either, but once again BPD being the culprit. Therapy and DBT has helped me manage and untangle this mess immensely over the years.

[Wild Coyote]

As for the changes in moods, the valium may be causing some depression.
Please talk to your pdoc about the mood instability.

I agree with Trippin, sounds like you may be pushing your friend away because the closeness became uncomfortable for you? Does this explanation ring true for you?

I hope you are having a better day today.

WC

[Zigy]

I cycle during the day too. I wake up anxious AND depressed. Then become very anxious for several hours and dip into depression in mid afternoon as anxiety burns out. It doesn't always follow this pattern though, most of the time.

I can't comment on your friendship. I don't have any friends

[Pookyl]

My mood drops late afternoon too. I deal with it by walking in the sunshine or under gym lights. Alternatively I turn on all the lights on at home.

[sonjaward809]

I tend to get more depressed as the day goes on, like I wake up in the morning with a few goals to achieve by the end of the day and if I don't get to them I feel terrible. But normally as the day progresses I'm more and more depressed, even with the meds I take. As for not feeling bad, yeah that's happened to me a few times and while I'm sure I hurt the person's feelings I didn't feel anything when I did. I usually felt bad a few weeks-months later when the thoughts popped back up that I could've possibly hurt somebody's feelings. I don't ever intentionally mean to hurt anybody but sometimes I just feel numb. Hope that helps!

[Cocosurviving]

I also get lower in mood as the evening progress. Usually by 7-8 PM my mood has shifted to depression and anxiety. I find warm baths relax me so I take one. I’ve taken a bath twice in one day. I find that having only one light on does not help. I do turn at least two lights on in adjoining rooms. My therapist told me he bought his light at Walgreen’s online for $60. I’m going to buy one next month.