[bluemountains]

I just got back from therapy and I can't stop crying. The session was fine until near the end when my therapist started throwing questions and comments at me about our relationship and the way I treat her. She also said that she doesn't know if she provides effective treatment for me. She said that sometimes she doesn't know if what I say is meant to be verbal attacks towards her, or if I am just in a kidding mode.
I have seen this therapist for almost six years! I really had no idea that our relationship was suffering like this. The only times that I would consider myself out of line is when she has been in on seeking hospitalization for me-I don't think you can be held accountable at those times!
She has other bipolar clients, but evidently I am not doing the right things. I know with this type of reaction on my end and hers, the end of our time together is probably close. This will just hurt so much, because I truly like her, and I thought she understood me. We still are meeting next week.
At the end she asked if she could hug me and she wouldn't let go for beyond the normal time. I guess that was goodbye,too.

Bluemountains

[~Christina]

Wow Blue I’m so sorry

After years and her act like that ??? I would be so upset also like wtf ???!!

Obviously you should see someone new but wow just wow on her actions.

Many hugs my friend

[HALLIEBETH87]

Wow I'm so sorry!!!

[Victoria'smom]

I'm so sorry.

I think you need to call her. You shouldn’t use up therapy time trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean.

You need to understand if you’re supposed to look for another therapist too, and get started on that as soon as possible.

That was poorly handled, I am so sorry! I am attached to my previous therapist, and I didn’t go for a long time even though I desperately need to. I don’t want to see that happen to you.

[Wonderfalls]

That's very weird. It sounds like it's definitely on her. However you get in touch with her between sessions, I would. She needs to let you know where she was coming from.

If I were in your position, I'd want her to give me examples of things I said that made her feel attacked. Sometimes we don't know how things we say come across. Until that is understood, it's hard to prevent that from happening in the future. THAT would be something she could do to help you instead of just making you feel bad with no idea behind what your so-called offenses are. If you ask her for examples, try to do so carefully, because she is obviously sensitive. If she won't answer directly, then be happy to move on.

Sounds to me like she has some level of negative countertransference going on. It's a lot more common than you'd might think. It is likely her issue and not anything you really did/ said. In any case, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I've dealt with something similar.

[RedDawn]

Honestly, it sounds like your therapist has crossed a line and is no longer able to maintain a professional therapeutic relationship with you.

The hug sounds all wrong.

[bunnyhabit]

was this a lovers scenario, between the two of you. how close are you two socially? the hugging psrt is unique

[bluemountains]

Thanks for all of the support and positive comments.
Yes, the hug was a weird gesture, but I didn't really think of it as wrong or in a sexual way. We haven't ever touched before, but she knew I was very upset and I just considered it her way of trying comfort me. We are not in contact at all socially, nor would I ever want to be with her or any of my caregivers.
I sent her a text today, telling her that I would like to have a conversation about what happened yesterday. She is going out of town to visit her mother for several days, and said that she had been in bed with an "agonizing migraine for several hours" that had begun when she turned her head during my session. She apologized to me, not for anything specific, and said we could talk more next Tuesday, which is my regular session.
I have no way to reason all of this out, and it is so odd to me. It all feels wrong. I have an appointment with my pdoc tomorrow, and while that normally isn't a therapy setting, I think I will talk to the doctor about it and ask what she thinks. The doctor doesn't know my therapist personally, but they have consulted on the phone concerning patients, me and others.

[~Christina]

So she’s blaming you for her migraine ??? What the eff ???? I think she needs to take time off and find herself a damn T to get her assss back on track , sheesh

I’m so sorry

[bluemountains]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

So she’s blaming you for her migraine ??? What the eff ???? I think she needs to take time off and find herself a damn T to get her assss back on track , sheesh

I’m so sorry

I know, I'm feeling played now because she said something about a migraine coming on while I was there, but then I know she saw at least one other person after me, probably two.
The wise thing to do would be to make a clean break and cancel for good, but you know how we needy psychotic bipolar people are! I probably will put myself through the emotional ride just to hear the explanation. After that, eff therapy for a while!

[~Christina]

I would want a explanation on her ridiculous actions , I’m the type that prefers to have the last word when dealing with assshat people.

So sorry your being treated like this your a wonderful person .... she’s incompetent.

I hope you find a good resolution after you talk to her. It sounds like she is just making excuses to avoid you until the next appointment.

If you end up needing a new therapist, you might find a better one! My old therapist had been talking to me on and off for six or seven years. I didn’t realize he wasn’t helping me much. My new therapist gives me more practical suggestions. I know how hard it is to change when you’re attached

[bluemountains]

I talked to my pdoc today about the situation. One thing she said is that sometimes people with migraines can't reason correctly. I know it sounds like the profession protecting the profession, but she doesn't know my therapist personally. She was just giving me information. I will let you know how it all works out.
Key notes, you are right about treatment options elsewhere. I probably will leave and just quit for a while, but my pdoc likes for me to go to therapy, so I'll just try to figure it all out over time.

[~Christina]

Sometimes a shytty T cant “ reason correctly” pfft I agree it’s a protect and deflect , total ********t tho.

I’m so sorry your going through this mess.

[Beowulf]

It almost sounds like she is dealing with stuff personally, and is just being set off and taking stuff out on you.