[Leia78]

Not doing good at all. Bad. Just bad. mixed. no sleep, tired but not, raging, racing. can't do anything that accomplishes anything but can't sit still.

i need sleep.

[Leia78]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Finished homework and did another load of laundry. Made chicken noodle soup for lunch, wrote some poems, put away dishes, picked a chicken, vacuum sealed the chicken and the sausage my husband cooked. Joined an online writing group. Still have to make dinner and plan meals for the week. Whew!

Saw T today. I talked about rejection and writing my poetry book. He kind of skirted around giving me advice. I suppose with 6 years of therapy under him he thinks I can figure out the answers. My pnurse's office hasn't called me back with a T intake, so I may have to look elsewhere.

The aqua therapy pool is closed this week so will have to do land exercises. Ugh.

My daughter's birthday present came in today. I haven't opened the box yet, but will do that tomorrow when she's at school. It's something she wanted for years, so I hope she appreciates it. She wants to have this day low-key, saving the 21st birthday "celebration" until her boyfriend's birthday in May. All I know is this present and a Mexican dinner. Her boyfriend usually gives her large stuffed animals, but she's running out of room.

I'm nervous because I'm taking the last app exam tomorrow. Otherwise I'm okay.

Hugs to those who want them.

A great writing resource and lots of groups are at Scribophile. It's got things to help you get published, ect. Great site, well done. AND FREE!
www.scribophile.com

[Zigy]

I felt strangely better, all of a sudden, yesterday and half a day today. No anxiety and somewhat uplifted. Then fatigue hit me about noon. Still no anxiety, just tired as hell.

[Tucson]

I had taken out a bank loan to consolidate other debts, and repair the house. I took some of that money and purchased a used car. I had to replace my car that was totalled in a recent accident. In this way I can continue to look for a job. Even though the car was made in 2001, it is spotless and blemish free with 46,000 miles on it. It looks exactly like a new car. This should last me for several years. The cost of my insurance actually went down.

I am waiting for my daughter later this afternoon. My DUI charges were dropped by the prosecuting attorney. So we are going to some inexpensive place to eat. McDonalds comes to mind. This excuse is just as good as any other to spend time with my daughter outside of the house. She will be 18 next week. I am concerned about this. I do not think she is ready to become an adult.

[Unrigged64072835]

Missed one question on my last app exam. Being doing very well, so I now wait for the final.

Did grocery shopping this morning. Went to three stores and picked up all but one item that is at yet another store.

The office where my pnurse works called back. I think I have the same therapist as my daughter. I want to ask her, but it took so much for her to make this move and I don't want to weird her out. I still have my old T to fall back on if need be. I just hope it works out.

Otherwise I've been writing poetry and surfing the Web. Will be making dinner in a few.

Mood is okay for now.

[Wander]

Just got back from a holiday in the Blue Mountains near Sydney, nearly a five hour flight from my place. Stayed with a wonderful friend who is very understanding of my various illnesses. I had a couple of days of mild psychosis and was very up and down but still had a great time. It is my first real holiday in years so I loved the change of scenery. Physically I’m shattered from the walking and minor hiking and mentally I’m a bit all over the place but I’m ok.

Sorry to all that I’ve been MIA for a few months. I was depressed then busy and really found it hard to write at all. I did follow your posts and sent good vibes when needed. Hopefully I can post more now.

[LadyShadow]

Ridiculous mania madness through the night, which led to me losing the whole ENTIRE day to a crash, and much needed sleep. I am holding on to a lot of guilt because my parents are left working on our new house all alone, because my crazy butt can't get my stuff together to get up at a decent time and help them. UGH!

I don't even think its being bipolar that causes this, its just poor self-discipline!!

Other than that, it was nice waking up to an empty house, (totally feel guilty for saying that), but I am in good spirits, which is the whole point after all.

[sonjaward809]

Well things aren't exactly going well on my end. I have until March 31st to move out of my grandma's house because we're being evicted. Things have been tough on me since she passed in November and now I'm having to move back home with my mom. She will be coming up at the end of March to help me move. My disability hasn't been approved yet either so I might have to start all over when I get to her house .. we live in different states. But I did get approved for MediKan which is for people who are disabled and applying for SSI/SSDI. So at least I'll have health insurance for the next 1 1/2 months. My car is still broke down too, but my brother is on his way here to help me fix it. He should be here either tonight or tomorrow. Honestly, it feels like everytime I try to take 2 steps forward I get knocked 3 steps back. Everything keeps going wrong!! But I'm trying my best to remain positive and keep my head up above waters. I had a heck of a time trying to pay rent yesterday (we still have to pay rent while we stay @ my grandmas) .. took about an hour to get the money order I needed, because the place I get them from only takes cash and all of my money was on a PayPal card. I loathe PayPal. It's soo dang confusing to use. But I know I can't wait to be back home with my family. I'm pretty much alone where I'm staying, the only person who visits me is my sister and usually she wants something when she does come by. Right now she's trying to get me to let her use my car once it's up and running, but I'm not letting her because last time she broke something on my car from her rough driving. I'm not letting anybody use my car again actually!! Too much can go wrong. I just wish I was home already and away from this negative situation but I can't do anything until the end of March. I'm running out of meds too and can't get to my doctor's appointments because of my car not working. So I'm worried that my moods will flare up and I'll be back in the hospital when I can't afford to be in there. I feel like I'm just trapped in a room surrounded by chaos. Especially with everything going on ..

[bizi]

I am sorry that you are feeling unstable.
get a new pdoc so you can get your meds. maybe y9our primary could prescribe you them.If you can't get them then You can always go to the er to get your meds. At least from what I understand that is where you can get them in emergency situations.
bizi

[Cocosurviving]

My overall day was good. Tried to stay warm....I was cold all day. I went to the chiropractor and to my local farmers market. I bought fruit. Then went to fuel up my car....might get some bad weather in the morning. My mood was good today.

[Lifeischallenging]

It has been a real long time since I last posted. I apologize. Things aren't really going the way I would want them too. I haven't really applied for college and I still don't have a car. The only good thing out of all this is I'm going to be doing my taxes soon. I'm sure things will pick up for me though. I just have to give it time. Work has been good. Getting decent hours.

[Unhinged88]

My mind is all over. I cant focus.

Sorry to not be writing much -- keeping up through reading though. Been doing pretty alright. Tired a lot lately. BF's had a couple of blackout fall incidents with head hits -- think Saturday was a concussion. When it happened again today, I made him call our Dr., who wanted him to get evaluated at the ER, so that's where we are now. They're just making sure it's not anything dire causing it.

Got my taxes done this weekend. Good to get that out of the way. Yapped with someone in the line a lot. Good social practice as I rarely talk to anyone really (aside from BF obviously).

Lots of good wishes to everyone, and apologies again for not writing more... you all really are in my thoughts more than you know...

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wander

Just got back from a holiday in the Blue Mountains near Sydney, nearly a five hour flight from my place. Stayed with a wonderful friend who is very understanding of my various illnesses. I had a couple of days of mild psychosis and was very up and down but still had a great time. It is my first real holiday in years so I loved the change of scenery. Physically I’m shattered from the walking and minor hiking and mentally I’m a bit all over the place but I’m ok.

Sorry to all that I’ve been MIA for a few months. I was depressed then busy and really found it hard to write at all. I did follow your posts and sent good vibes when needed. Hopefully I can post more now.

Glad you were able to get away and enjoy yourself!
Always happy to hear from you!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Sorry to not be writing much -- keeping up through reading though. Been doing pretty alright. Tired a lot lately. BF's had a couple of blackout fall incidents with head hits -- think Saturday was a concussion. When it happened again today, I made him call our Dr., who wanted him to get evaluated at the ER, so that's where we are now. They're just making sure it's not anything dire causing it.

Got my taxes done this weekend. Good to get that out of the way. Yapped with someone in the line a lot. Good social practice as I rarely talk to anyone really (aside from BF obviously).

Lots of good wishes to everyone, and apologies again for not writing more... you all really are in my thoughts more than you know...

The falling sounds scary. I hope your BF is okay.
I need to complete my taxes. It's good you've gotten yours done early, as a lot on income tax return fraud is expected this year. It can be a long wait for a return if that happens.

Always good to hear from you!

WC

[bpforever1]

I have come down with the flu and feel tired. My brother says I might die from it. What?!! Well, if I die, I will be at peace with myself. I'm doing what I like and am enjoying my life. I have problems still. But, I am happy with myself now and satisfied with my life. I have no complaints.

I took my medication this morning and feel tired but ok. I will go to teach tonight too although I have the flu. I have a minor cough and aches but nothing significant.

I did not make the cut for the innovative school but will improve on the points that the head teacher said. In a way, I am relieved I did not make it and be accepted by this school because it was wearing me down and making me feel horrible. I am happier now again.

[LadyShadow]

That mania madness last night caught up with me today and hit me HARD tonight. Having a weird feeling, but hopefully I am able to sleep in a little while.

feeling a little hurt.

yesterday I was told by someone that they didn't want my help anymore, and that they didn't apreciate me anymore

when I ask why, they were like..... oh well, I didn't know you had mental health issues- you're a liability

........okay, then

at the time I'm jjustl ike yeah, okay, what ever, good luck in your project, but I am hurt by it and feel I should have said more

[Moreta]

Ugh, heartburn. Can't take my meds till after the ultrasound today. I'm going at 8:30. I hope it doesn't take long cause I feel like I'm gonna hurl. I usually get up at 7 and take my heartburn med, soma, tramadol, and provigil, but I can't eat or drink anything till after the procedure. It's started to rain and I hate driving in the rain. Still sounds like there's a lot of traffic out there. I need to leave in about 20 mins. It takes about 25 mins to get there. Hopefully today will be ok.

I'm not feeling well mood wise. I'm just... really sad, but I think it's a situational depression, so I don't want to medicate myself for it. At least I have therapy in 25 minutes from now, so maybe we can touch on this topic.

Also, I'm psychiatrist-less anyway, so it's not like I could increase my meds even if I wanted to. Stupid pdoc just f_cking didn't care about me and my treatment, and left me hanging, and now I have to wait to transfer to some place else that I found. Who knows how long that'll be because this dumb office said it could take up to 30 days for them to send out my records to the new place!

having an interesting afternoon

losing track of everything- time, what i'm doing, etc

[bizi]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm not feeling well mood wise. I'm just... really sad, but I think it's a situational depression, so I don't want to medicate myself for it. At least I have therapy in 25 minutes from now, so maybe we can touch on this topic.

Also, I'm psychiatrist-less anyway, so it's not like I could increase my meds even if I wanted to. Stupid pdoc just f_cking didn't care about me and my treatment, and left me hanging, and now I have to wait to transfer to some place else that I found. Who knows how long that'll be because this dumb office said it could take up to 30 days for them to send out my records to the new place!

You should be able to make a new appointment with the new pdoc. It is not your fault.
The old pdoc should have given you refills, ask for refills!
bizi

[BPQuestions]

Blah. That is all....

[Zigy]

I didn't sleep well. I was waking up every few hours so I feel tired today. But my anxiety is lower than usual. Feeling down though. Crap weather isn't helping.

[Unrigged64072835]

Quiet day. Started with 6 inches of snow this morning. The trash collectors arrived so my husband had to shovel snow to put the trash out. I offered to help but he didn't want that. Daughter's boyfriend did the rest so thankful for that.

Other than that, surfing the Web and putting a bunch of loops together for another music noodle. Plus the usual daily housework stuff. Daughter is having leftovers for dinner so we can have fish later on. I offered something different, but she heard leftover chicken noodle soup so she was all over that. Haven't written any poems so far but that may change.

Mood is okay.