I put a deposit on a new car last night. I am shortly out the door and to the bank for a draft to finalize the sale. I had to tell my father. How could I not? As I knew he would, he freaked out. "Have you talked the decision over with your psychiatrist?" He doesn't trust any big decision I make. This one is a big one so he no doubt is upset all the worse. But dad, just because I make a big decision doesn't mean I am manic!!!!!! I thought this over carefully. I discussed this at length with my boyfriend and others in my support network. I did a great deal of research before coming to the decision. I have done my due diligence. Why can't you just be happy for me?

[99fairies]

I have bad anxiety and dystonia that keeps popping up.

[Moreta]

I am beat. Took my car for to get it inspected today and it passed. woooooo. I went out to lunch, got my husband's meds, went to 2 office depots looking for what i needed, and went to the coffee shop to get a tea and stuff my face with a muffin. Was out about 4 hrs today. My helpers partner came tonight and she's afraid of dogs and allergic to cats, so I didn't keep her long. She washed the dishes, took out the trash, and cooked me dinner. I got to take a shower too. I foresee an early bedtime tonight. Not a bad day, just tiring.

[Row Jimmy]

Still up and down........had a few explosive episodes in the last few weeks. I took it upon myself a while back to cut my lithium from three capsules to two capsules a day. I also stopped taking my celexa because I thought it was making me fat. I'm sure my p-doc will be impressed with my self care (if I choose to tell him) My shoulder feels better so I think I'll go back the normal routine, pick myself off the floor, stop eating everything in sight, and get back to the gym. Been here before, wash rinse repeat. I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair!

But it never gets tiring because it's a new challenge.

[Victoria'smom]

My son lost his ring my sister gave to him it was a couple of grands. I felt so bad we couldn't go back. Our cars acting up and we couldn't risk going back to get it. We're now on the hunt for a cheap replacement by Thursday. So he doesn't pick at his face in class.

[LadyShadow]

Hanging in there, but things feel a bit flat and I feel a bit drained. Kind of in a "whatever" mood, and not really sure what that means.

[wildflowerchild25]

Met my new pdoc today. She seems nice enough. Hard to say. The key will be if she’s accessible between appointments if I have an emergency. But hopefully I won’t have an emergency any time soon.

I have to get blood work done again tomorrow to check depakote levels. Sucks. I hate getting blood work done, I’m waiting for at least an hour if not more. Can’t get aN appt at such short notice.

Im afraid to take the antibiotic as it made me sick this morning and I threw up. But I decided to take it with food this time and see if that helps. Hopefully it will!

I read but haven't posted in awhile now. My son is having delusions again on and off, my sprain knee is still hurting and it's hard to walk or bathe, I don't like my son's t, neither does he, but he keeps putting off telling him he wants a new one.

In a depression but did take a bath and go get groceries today. My son helped with the groceries. I feel a little better. I hope it lasts....

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

As my pdoc would say, I’m proud of you for using your wise mind.

Thank you! If only I could keep doing that, but all I can do is try.

[LadyShadow]

This up and down nonsense is getting old. I am a bit frustrated with my feelings today. It could just be a bit of an "off" day.

[Unhinged88]

I feel okay today. Better than the last few days. I hope it lasts longer than a few hours.

[Tucson]

It has been an interesting time for me. I ended up in a bad accident. My car is totalled. My step son found a car for me. I was only prepared to spend $3000. This is a Mercedes Benz. My son talked them down to $6500. It is a 2001 car that only has 43,000 miles on it. It is truely spotless. Looks identical to a new car. Even smells that way. If I need to sell it in the future, he will buy it from me for what I paid for it. So he talked me into purchasing it. I am afraid to drive the thing. I cannot afford collision for it. I park away from everybody else to make sure no one will dent it. What have I got myself into here? I am now panicking that I may not be able to afford the insurance on it due to my driving history. Well, I have a month to figure this out where I can return it to the original owner. So let’s hope for the best.

I am OK today. I do not know what to do with myself. I am afraid to call the car insurance company just to find out if I can continue driving my car. I am looking for something to go wrong. When some good happens in my life, I always look for something else to go wrong. So at this point, all I need to do is to tell myself that I will be OK, and then hope for the best.

[Wild Coyote]

Having an okay day. Was awake a lot of the night with dystonia in my feet/legs -- very painful. We will see what can be done, what makes sense.

Love to All!

WC

[hopeless2015]

WC I hope your pain eases up!!

Doing ok, crazy busy at work, like 10 things going on at once. My desk is a train wreck. None of it's urgent so I'm going to try to calm down and tackle one thing at a time when I go back from lunch. I feel like I need a drink!!

Hugs to everyone!!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

WC I hope your pain eases up!!

Doing ok, crazy busy at work, like 10 things going on at once. My desk is a train wreck. None of it's urgent so I'm going to try to calm down and tackle one thing at a time when I go back from lunch. I feel like I need a drink!!

Hugs to everyone!!

Thank you!

something made me laugh today.

a fully grown adult calling a dog a "bo bo"

I litirally rolled about on the floor for like 45 minits before getting myself together and saying to no one in particular, it's called a ****ing dog, not a bo bo.

pretty productive day though

ordered groceries, sent off the email about the star badge, cooked (not had a takeaway), and updated my music playlist

oh, and put some laundry away

[salsharia]

Newly diagnosed and am having a difficult work day. Working from home because I’m irritable and don’t want to be around people. Mostly though I’m having a hard time focusing on work. My head feels buzzy, hazy and I just can’t seem to get in front of my emails. Feels like depressed brain or ADHD brain. Not sure but I’ve decided to go easy on myself and just do my best. Sending many hugs to all of you - let’s keep trying

[BPQuestions]

Im happy but I want off one of my meds

[Moreta]

I saw my pdoc today. He said I have mild depression and to take saffron. I asked about a low dose AD but he said no. He also put me on mother ****ing clonidine for ADHD. grumble grumble grumble. That **** makes me sooooo tired and I already feel like a wet noodle. Went to Costco to go pick up my provigil and it doubled in price and insurance wouldn't cover it. ***** YOU BCBS. damn **** was $90, and that was at Costco. I got out the 1099s and my husband's package out today and I went to the plate office and paid my registration and taxes for my car, so my car is legal now.

Other than that I'm almost done with my book. I haven't actually read a whole book in a couple years, so I'm kinda proud about that. I've been going to a local coffee shop and reading for an hour or 2 a day to get out of the house and bonus I get to stuff my face with a gluten free muffin. Today I had lemon poppy seed. Oh and I went to the library and put the next book in the series on hold. I hope they get it tomorrow cause other libraries have it. It usually takes them 1-3 days to transfer stuff.

[Unrigged64072835]

Saw pnurse yesterday. She couldn't figure out the WBC either, so I have to make an appt. with one of the other regular docs because mine is still on maternity leave. The antibiotic is not working anymore and my face is flaking again, so I may need another dermatologist referral. Ugh--if it's not one thing it's another. She also wants me to stop taking Lunesta and start on prescription-strength melatonin. OTC melatonin didn't work for me either but here we go...

Frustrated with my homework. I turn in my projects, get what I did wrong, fix it and resubmit, and it still says I'm wrong. So I'm going to leave them at 99% and study for the test. It's MS Access, so it's not something I'll use in college anytime soon. I just need to know enough for the exams.

Rearranging my home office so I can put in another keyboard. I bought a 49-key one several years ago, and I want to set it up and use it again. Would like to get back into music, but I'm also juggling writing and this MS Office class so we'll see. I'm moving my bookcase but I have a lot of books I want to keep but haven't read. Decisions, decisions...

My mood is hyper, but not hypomanic.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been clenching my jaw all day. I’m SO anxious about returning to work tomorrow. I have a headache now. I just put on my aromatherapy necklace with some lavender essential oil so hopefully that will help calm me down. I’m going to use my weighted blanket later also when the house cools down a little bit. Im just freaking out is all. Nbd.

I just want to get the first day over with. I still have to study chapter 7 for tomorrow and Friday. I wish I understood math better. I wish my co teacher wasn’t so difficult. I wish I didn’t have to go back. But my tax return wasn’t that much seeing as I can’t file as qualifying widow anymore.

I’m also worried that I’m going to get audited because I filed as head of household. I qualify but I don’t pay rent to my mom and I don’t pay the electric/water bill so I don’t know if I pay more than half of household expenses, although my mom paid off the mortgage so she only pays property tax. I pay cable/internet and all the rest of my bills, including groceries for me and my son. I get worried every year that I’m going to get audited though. I hate dealing with the government.

In other news my state is considering banning menthol cigarettes so I guess it’s good I quit. I hate regular cigarettes. I don’t know if they’ll actually go through with it but that’ll be even more motivation To stay off of them.

[Nammu]

I have a GP doc appointment the end of February and the docs office called to schedule me for a bone density test, a Mamogram and a blood test before that. Thankfully they got me in all on the same day.

My grandson drives me crazy sometimes. He's 5 but is always walking all over stuff and never listens, now today I found out he might have attention deficit disorder which would go far in explaining some of that. I feel bad I got sharp with him telling him to put his shoes on, it's such a trial every single time to get him to put his shoes on.

[bizi]

ate some almonds instead of stopping by whole foods for a beer.
win
bizi

[bizi]

goal for feb...is to be AF as much as possible.. I will avoid drinking during The time before fat tuesday and will be drinking on Mardi gras. Then give up alcohol for lent.
bizi

[99fairies]

BPQuestions, I feel the same way. I'm so close to chucking my damn meds.