Going IP :(

Glad to hear that you're safe and making a some progress! Rooting for you!

Thanks for the update.

It is possible that feeling scared and panicked is a result of the reduction of Klonopin. At least, that was my experience.

I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself and going IP when you needed to.

I am still on 8 mg of Clonazepam a day but it will be reduced tomorrow. Not sure how much. I’m guessing he’ll want me to a for zero but every time I’m the past, despite coming off slowly, I have gone bananas. The panic and fear have been around for a while but I’m sure they will worsen as the reduction begins. At the moment they have me sedated to the gills. I’m ok with that. Coloxopil(can’t spel) is an antipsychotic that helps with agitation but make me sedated too. Still, I can stay awake late and get up early. Sorry, I’ve rambled on. Too much time and my brain won’t shut up.

Waiting to see my pdoc. Habe been waiting since Friday when he told me he’d see me the next day. So frustrated as I want to home but need his help I’m getting me there. Hopeless. Down and up still. So bored. I can’t concentrate on TV even, never alone Study. My future is bleak.

I hate waiting for pdoc while IP. It's the worse! I hope yours shows up very soon.

Last night my doc didn't show up as he said yet again. It had been five days of shows. Last night I totally lost it. Bear with I cn hard type due ti meds, MY pic digit answer ask desperate calls from the nurses regarding my determining mental health, I felt betrayed and hopeless, I was very suicidal and the nurse tried to keep me safe without my psych but I was filled with rage and unable to calm dine. Thy gave me 20mg fo Zyprexa to sleep and I go 3 hours.

Saw poc this morning her died he received the messages I knew the nurses had send I generally dismissed it and just fiddled with my meds. He is a great doctor out patient but hopeless IP I have little otptiont to change so I guess I m stuck with him .Iwanted to e out my easter but it seem like that is notion to happen. It is all hopeless. I cannot see any light.

FIVE days of no-shows?!?!

I would be very angry and depressed.

But there is hope, you just can't grasp it right now.

You remain in my thoughts, Wander

Do you have a family member that can advocate for you?

I would ask where you are able to make your complaint.

Don't give up hope, you're in a safe place, it may just take time for the episode to pass! Sympathy that your doc isn't doing more. Sending positive vibes your way.

Finally saw him and he denied the urgent messages they left him. He did apologise but it dent seem sincere, just arrogance. He dropped meds that might be causing the dirstres call my T to see the has anyideas. I said to call back when he is left an emergency. I told him I was close to suicde to he said I should go to locked ward so I said that would nit even a possibility if he hadn't screwed me over in the first place. He is supposedly coming this afternoon to check on me. I just hope he doesnt section me under mental health act.

Sorry about the typing. I am very drugged/

(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Sending some hugs to you Wander. I'm sorry you are going through all this right now. I hope you feel better soon.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, Wander. Hope you can get better soon. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing going inpatient to keep yourself safe.

Saw my pdov, finally . He dismissesd hrheytinh any emergency calls over weekend. This strnoie am felt dismissive I have file s formal complaint do hopefully someone will sevhim strait.

He got rid of Rexulti and increased my Lamotrogine to 400 a day. He lap gVd me Haldol for breakthrough symptoms. He is medically looking after me great bust is useless when it comes to managing time and making false promises like saying he will see me tomorrow and won’t come. Even today I saw him on the walnut an asked if I was seeing him Je said no but relented. He wa not impressed and he got what herdddfrom my notes they said I suicidal and needed emergency review. Idiot. I could haidclasy if it were not for the wonderful nurse.

Sorry abou typos. My mid and coordination is mush

Sorry you're having a hard time with your pdoc. You'd think with you being suicidal he'd step up and do more.

well todays update: my doc is still pissed at me for his negligence. Sigh ... Yet today I woke up on top of the world. I feel fantastic and motivated. See my T today. drugs are kicking in so my typing is a mission. I will let you all know what my T has to day. When I spoke to him Monday he was very angry at how I have been treated. Can't wait to offload on someone I trust totally and who has the credentials to help me.