[lucymae1]

I needed some support. I feel so lost and hopeless. My ex divorced me after 30 years of marriage about a year and a half ago. I have Bipolar 2 and this has really affected me. I have huge abandonment issues from childhood. I got into a relationship and moved in with my new boyfriend in about 8 months after divorce. I knew it was too soon but I was so depressed and terrified that I would take sleeping pills during the day so I didn't have to face the world. I think because I'm 55 it scares me even more. I think of homelessness. I think if it wasn't for my precious dog Luke I would be dead by now. I'm on disability and I work very part time. I'm realizing it's not fair to my boyfriend about my Bipolar. I told him I have Bipolar and he is pretty supportive but I know he really doesn't get it and it's not up to him to understand. I'm just feeling really scared and isolated.

[Nola0250]

I think I can relate. I am also BP2. I left my husband 6 months ago. I was diagnosed afterward. Its hard to imagine finding someone who would understand. But I know those people are out there. Your boyfriend probably has no idea when to reach out to you and when to give you space. Ask him how much he wants to know and try to get a sense of what he's comfortable with. You know how much you can handle on your own and what you need help with. I bet you can get what you need, but it's scary to ask. You're right, you just don't know until you try.

After feeling rejected after 30 years of marriage, it's hard to have a relationship where you're not scared you'll be rejected again. But if you don't find out early in a relationship, you might find out later and that would be worse.

[RainyDay107]

Sending positivity your way! I was married for 18 years and I left and we divorced.

I’m also disabled. I met a wonderful man several years ago. It was at a bipolar and depression support group I used to facilitate. He’s also disabled. I’m extremely happy and vice-versa, been together several years. I’d been a member of the group for five years before I met him. It was just by chance...

I think a balance is needed in all relationships. I didn’t expect my (ex) husband to truly understand...but, yes, I wanted him to learn about bipolar disorder. I was treatment compliant and doing my best...he refused to go to my appointments with my psychiatrist, not one time. He didn’t like me on meds. Meds save my life. I won’t go on, he wasn’t “all in” so I exited stage right, no regrets.

I know being disabled brings in very little money, SSDI. Yet, it is what it is. It sounds like you’re concerned. Every bit counts. I quit smoking, for example. Saving so much now I don’t have the daily habit. Safeguarding myself from manic spending sprees....a big one for me. Separating wants versus needs. Giving thoughtful, yet less expensive gifts. Stuff like that.

Having a support system....we are here but get involved in a support group if you haven’t done so. Highly recommend it. I found mine on meetup.com but DBSA and NAMI have info, too. I remember us brainstorming at meetings when a member needed housing ... she and another member ended up getting an apartment together and it worked out great.

These are just ideas, not solutions. Sending positivity your way. I have hard times, definitely, but good times, too. The past is gone, live for today, so not worry about what is out of your control.

You’re not helpless, you don’t have to go this alone. I get very anxious so I do relate and empathize with you. I hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

I recommend being in treatment, I need meds and therapy, but others here get by without, You know what is best for you.

Couples counseling is definitely worth a shot if your relationship is strained and you both want to work on improving it. I’m trying to get out more, I have agoraphobia and my partner doesn’t. He’s extroverted and I’m a homebody. However, I push myself a bit unless it’s a very hard time ... we do something like dinner out. You are working part-time, that’s great if your health permits it!

I hope this helped. I saw your thread had gone to the second page and you needed support. You need replies. So, I’m sending my best and bumping you, too. lol

[RainyDay107]

PS: I also do acts of kindness to show I appreciate my partner...like making him hot tea. It’s simple but he appreciates it and feels loved. I’ll watch a sci-fi show with him. I’m not big on tv nor Sci-fi, but sharing popcorn and cuddling on the couch...good times. I wasn’t stressing about stuff...I was worried Captain Picard wouldn’t get rescued from the Borgs on Star Trek, lol.

[lucymae1]

Thank you so much for your support "GlamSlam". I love all of your suggestions. I will definitely take your suggestion on finding a group meeting. I never thought of that going on Meet Up. I can feel so alone not having others with Bipolar to talk too. I'm so grateful you posted because I was feeling kind of down that no one even posted when I was reaching out for help. I look at the forums sometimes and see who has no comments and I post on their page. I am very compliant with meds and therapy but yet still haven't found right combo to be stable after 8 years of trial and error. Do you mind if I keep in touch with you? I could sure use the support.

Sending Hugs and Love your way

Lynn