getting a job?

I’m thinking about getting a job. I’d have to take a class to be a pharmacy tech first. I’d have to go to school on my own, to work on my own and I’m never on my own. Usually I get panicked on my own and think of hurting myself but it’s not like I’m doing anything when I’m alone. Maybe a job would help. I can’t get out of my head my former T implying I do nothing all day and I’m not trying to get better. I only see my pdoc 3x a year and I no longer see a T. I don’t drive so my husband would have to drive me. My SSI and benefits would be cut. I need to do something. I really want to hurt myself but maybe that’s because I don’t do enough. I won't hurt myself. I’m more likely just to take an ambein and go to bed. I go with my parents soon to be with them for 6 weeks. I was in therapy to get off medication but I can’t find a therapist able to help me. I miss my very old therapist because she was able to help me while not being afraid to talk about meds and the mental health system. Her feeling was as long as I was there I was looking for help, I was trying. I haven’t changed in days or showered but if I had a job I would have to or maybe I still wouldn’t care? I’m not engaging in my life and I’m mostly silent and I couldn’t be if I was working. I may be more paranoid but I won’t know until I try. I need to do something. My husband may leave me soon because I lack a sex drive. I haven’t had one in many many years. I can’t get my license so I would need to take the bus, with people on it. IDK, just a thought. My son graduates in two years and IDK what to do. I’m not depressed because I’ve been like this for months. I see a new pdoc (hopefully) in June. Hopefully I shower tomorrow but no promises. I can’t find a hobby, I have no friends so I mind as well have a job. Maybe I won’t even get hired. I need to lose weight but there’s always food in my mouth. Maybe I just need a gym membership and spend 20-40 hrs a week there.

Why not do some volunteer work?
You could see if you could commit to going.
Start small and work your way up.
just a suggestion.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I second the volunteer work idea. Great way to get out and experience life without risking losing your benefits. Also, consider starting small when you do get a job. Pharmacy tech jobs are stressful. I'm a pharmacist myself, and the techs get yelled at even worse than we do. What do you think you would most enjoy doing?

Maybe working to feed the homeless or working at a food bank.

There is a mental health club house called "forge ahead club house"
people there commit to working to run the place they serve meals I believe. The one in INDY is open M-F8;30am to 4 pm. (317)-355-3104 if you want to call Kim Barrett the director in INDY. She could answer questions for you and guide you in the right direction if you are interested.
While I am there this summer, I am going to drop in and take a tour. It might give me something to do.
You may have something like this in your town....
bizi

Just from reading your posts on here, I think you would be great at those things. Why not start by going one day a week, and then you can build from there. Plus, it would be something to put on your resume if you do decide to apply for a job after that.

I'm looking at food banks that are around here but most/all are church based.

Ah...I see...I take it you want to avoid church-based organizations?

I can understand if you do--I am Jewish and can get frustrated when organizations try to convert me to their beliefs...

That must be so frustrating!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Thanks bizi!! It definitely is!!!

I don’t know if this is something you have to consider in the USA with benefits?
Here, the company that pays my salary continuance would stop immediately if I did volunteer work.
Their position is “if you’re well enough to do volunteer work, your well enough to be in paid work”.
Crazy, given the difference between the two.

Bizi’s idea is a good way to dip your toe in the water and no commitment. (I was recently told by my T to try this approach so I’m considering volunteering as a visitor/helper at a retirement home).
Good luck!!!!

I used to volunteer at a library for many years -- about eight. That was a lot of fun. I got to shelve books and help order new ones (e.g., replacements for lost books or new books that are coming out). You also get to read to kids if the library has reading programs. I think reading might be good for you since you have said in the past that you have difficulty saying more than a few words. Gives you the opportunity to speak a lot and help kids want to learn more.

Also, instead of joining a gym, you can look at your town's/city's recreation department website. (Sometimes it's just called "parks and recreation" -- not to be confused with the TV show ) They list all adult sports that they have to offer. You can also join sports from other cities/towns. You just may have to pay like a one-time $50 fee to join the league of the other town, which really isn't a big deal when you consider how much a monthly gym membership costs.

I don't like that to get food you have to go through a religious center. So I won't do that .

Their position is “if you’re well enough to do volunteer work, your well enough to be in paid work”.
That's my concern too.

The library is a good option too but children make me nervous so I wouldn't be working with them. The gym I was going to join is our local rec center. It's $100 a year.

also planet fitness charges $10.90 a month if that is an option for you.
bizi

Do you like animals by any chance? You could volunteer to walk dogs or even snuggle cats to help them become more sociable. I've always found it easier to be around animals on a hard day than people...