My anxiety problem

I've developed this anxiety about bathing. It's completely irrational and I've cried about it today bc my sisters get angry if I even mention it. I can't shower bc I have a hurt back and a hurt kne. I'm in physical therapy for it. Right now I'm bathing every 4 days or so.

My therapist thinks its a trauma from my past. I've had a lot of trauma, so I'm not sure. I did almost drown when I was 8 or so. But I've had domestic violence, oh just lots of trauma.

This anxiety about bathing started one day when I was listening to my favorite band in the bath and all of the sudden I had panic attack. Just out of nowhere. Now listening to my favorite band makes me anxious.

What the f is wrong with me?

Hi Rose,

This sounds like maybe some PTSD?

Any feeling about the fall could trigger a reaction to past trauma. The same goes for the music.

I had attended a concert almost two weeks ago. I'd had a PTSD reaction to the overwhelming stimuli, both sound and visuals. It lasted for over a week and I am just starting to feel better, I think.

My point? PTSD can play out in seemingly odd ways, in reaction to almost anything.

I hope you get some relief soon!


WC

Nothing is wrong with you. This is something that you are struggling with but it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Our anxieties don’t always make sense but come from some biological purpose to try and keep us safe. It is completely understandable that you would have anxiety after having gone through trauma and a panic attack while bathing. Do you have anyone in your life who could be in the room with you while you bathe? Or can you talk yourself out of your anxiety by telling yourself that you will get through the bath without issues? (I know that’s a hard one and it doesn’t always help me but my therapist recommends practicing it). I hope that you can find a way through this. *hugs*

Thank you wc! Yes, my therapist thinks its definitely ptsd related. She says something was triggered that day. That we have to work through it. It just sucks that the anxiety is so bad when it comes to bathing. I have to do a lot of self talk throughout the bath bc I'm so anxious going through it. Can't get anything from my pdoc, like benzos she's pretty against them.

Sorry you're dealing with ptsd stuff too.

Hey thanks for saying that. I do a lot of self talk while I bathe. Like you will make it through this and you will feel so much better when you're done.

I live with my son. But he's 22. He can't come in and help, lol. But thanks for the suggestion.

Do you have a shower chair ?

Being scared of falling causes will certainly cause anxiety.

They aren’t very expensive.

Stay safe mentally and physically

I don't have a shower chair. I'm not afraid of falling tho. It's the bath itself. Idk why...

I’ve had the exact same problem with bathing. I also have issues with showering although not to the same extent.

I was listening to my favourite piece of classical music and suddenly I thought

******TRIGGER HIDING DIDNT WORK********TRIGGER

[trigger] one day I’m going to kill myself while listened to this piece of music. Holding my breath became a favourite past time of mine regardless of whether I was up or down /trigger]

**************************

We dealt with the issue by removing the bathtub when we renovated the bathroom. I think my family are more relaxed without one.

I definitely feel for you. I'm married to someone who suffers from anxiety and depression. It presented 2 years ago when I took a job transfer forcing us to move 2 hours from her hometown. She also had prior trauma. Did the whole psychiatrist thing with cocktails of meds. It made the problem much worse. The side effects were worse than the symptoms.

Anyway, we got her off of everything. Hit the reset button. Overall she's better than she was when she was on meds, but still has to self manage. We're now looking at underlying causes. Possible autoimmune thyroid disorder. Just waiting on blood tests now.

Maybe this isn't the greatest option, but there are dry shampoos out there where you don't have to wet your hair, and you can clean yourself with a cloth if the bath itself is bothersome.

I'm not saying that it should be the solution to the problem, but if you're feeling really triggered and anxious one day, you could always do something like that.

Man, that had to scary! Glad you found a solution. I hope you can listen to that peice of music now.

Hey Yeah that's an option. Thanks for the idea...